Dance For Me (Strip in the City, Book 2)

33 • Hot Understanding

Dominick

My ability to pick out shifts in mood was working overtime. And there was something that I didn't like in the way Tan said, my parents found out about us.

Tanushree knew there was a chance her parents would hear about us going into that restaurant together. So what was she afraid of?

Unfortunately, I knew the answer to that question.

I was the problem. She didn't want them to know about me. I wasn't good enough for her, and they'd see that.

I took a step back and raked my hand through my hair, putting distance between us.

"I'm not the kind of guy they want you to date, and you're having second thoughts. That's what this is about, isn't it?"

"What? No. Not at all."

The echo of the wall I put up to protect myself reverberated in my chest. I didn't want it to be true, but this seemed the only explanation.

I was just some guy who lived with his grandma above a strip club. Not exactly the kind of guy who anyone wanted to tell their parents about.

"Come on, Tan. Don't lie to me. I'm a big boy. I can take the truth."

She coughed into her arm again. "Don't make this about you, because it's not. It's about me. I'm the one who is a disappointment to everyone."

That made me straighten up real fast. Shit. I was making this about me because I was really fucking triggered right now. The part of me that was petrified of being abandoned again was talking. The scared kid who didn't understand why his mom didn't want to be with him and his dad never showed interest.

I thought I'd been working through this shit in therapy and by rekindling my relationship with Ma, but it was still there. Rearing its ugly head. I'd told myself I trusted Tan, so I needed to set my own trauma to the side and listen to her. She was just as triggered as I was right now.

There was nothing I could do to get the thought that she was a disappointment out of her head. She had to work through it on her own.

That didn't mean I couldn't confront her on it.

"The problem isn't that you're a disappointment," I told Tan, not as gently as I would've liked. "It's that you think you are."

I watched her swallow hard. And damn, I felt so guilty for calling her out when she was tired and sick. I really was a bastard. 

"You're right," Tan admitted after a long moment. "That is a problem. And I don't know how to fix it. Not yet, at least. Because I still feel like a disappointment. And that feeling feels very real to me."

I might be able to tell her she was wrong until I was blue in the face, but it wouldn't help. I could see that now.

I showed my support by taking her hand loosely in mine. "That's fine. You don't have to have all the answers. But that doesn't change the fact that you feeling like a disappointment all the time affects me and our relationship."

Tan nodded. "I know. I'm sorry. I'll work on it." She took a step toward me. Eyes wide. Her voice was soft when she said, "You're the first guy I've ever dated. And I don't know how to do this."

How was the world filled with such idiotic men that this beautiful woman who was kind and compassionate and warm never had a legit boyfriend?

"Wait a second. Are you saying you've never brought a guy home to meet your parents?"

She shook her head. "Literally never."

I was starting to understand the nuance here a little better. But I still needed details. Something happened at dinner. "Is that what you're so upset about?"