Charred //ZUTARA

Chapter 41 - ''What is she doing here?''

It was truly ridiculous. 

Zuko could barely explain why he felt the way he did but laying down on his bed again, he wished he was anywhere but here. Preferably at the certain healer's side. 

It wasn't possible though. No. Not anymore. 

Not as he just screwed everything up. Any kind of hope that he might've been holding up for them. Before, as she slept still unaware of him being wide awake, he fantasised about the kind of vision he was sent earlier. 

He thought of its meaning. Why would the Spirits sent him such bitter sweet image? Katara making love to him while wearing the Fire Nations crown... something so surreal, so impossible that it hurt him to even remember it. 

It would never come true. Zuko might have been stupid by acting the way he did today but he wasn't a fool. Even if the things with Katara would somehow work out, they would always have to keep it a secret. 

Just like Oma and Shu did. 

He did invite a mistress to his bed today. He planned on laying with her, just to feel a warm flesh against his own and only if he closed his eyes... perhaps it would feel like every time he did it with the waterbender. 

Even though he chose the one that looked just like Katara, her eyes betrayed her. The golden orbs stared at him seductively as she took off her robe. The smirk on her face was nothing like the genuine grin he was lately used to seeing. 

So, for the first few moments he stared at the woman. He prayed silently to the Spirits to save him; for Chan to come in with some sort of excuse; for the world to burn so he wouldn't have to send the escort away. 

It seemed his wishes were answered. Though not in the way he would have it. 

The first thought that went through his mind as he saw Katara again in his chamber was to fall to his knees. Instant regret flew through him and he was prepared to beg for forgiveness. 

As much as he wanted to do that, he couldn't. Not as the waterbender's face crumbled for a second, barely noticeable to anyone who didn't know her. Not as she put on one of her masks, asking the mistress to leave them alone. 

What would he say anyway? He did intend to spend a night trying to erase the trace Katara left on him, in his life. He was almost desperate to do that. 

It was eating at him. The dilemma of what to do now. 

Should he apologize and hope she finds it in her heart to forgive him? Perhaps it would be best to leave it alone, let her think what she wants and that way, it would be easier for both of them to forget what they had for the past few weeks. 

Simpler. 

Realistically, all he could do now was wait. For her. 

He will ask Spirits to guide him once she comes. 

If she ever does.

.....................................

''Katara! Over here!'' 

Appa groaned as he lowered his flying to where Sokka was now standing. He waved his hands at the bison, showing here where he can land. The rocks and the mountains themselves seemed to tremble as the animal dropped to the ground. 

Katara couldn't help the smile on her face. Her brother beamed at her when she jumped out of the saddle, straight into his arms. 

''I'm so glad you know everything now,'' the Southern Tribe Warrior muttered into her unbound hair. ''I did not enjoy lying to you for a second. I'm so sorry.''