old fashioned • dj&ts

iii. camila

Alexis started spending every day with the band and Camila, not taking one minute for granted. She grew closest to Eddie, feeling the most comfortable with him, but started a new close friendship with Camila. As the only two girls in the group, and the only two not in the band, they were spending more and more time together. Camila showed Alexis her camera and photographs of the band while Alexis realized she had no hobby to share. The only thing that brought her peace was dancing. She spent most of her nights at a downtown club before switching to the bar scene because the club is where she met Derek.

Alexis was seventeen and Derek was twenty-four when he snuck her in and they spent their first night together. Derek supplied her with alcohol and drugs, taking her dancing as often as he could and making her believe she couldn't live without him. Even though Alexis had always wanted to get away from her parents, Derek is the one who ultimately turned her against them. She hasn't spoken to her family in over a year, all because Derek made them villains in her story. Nobody loved her but him; he stayed when everyone else abandoned her; he was all she had; if she left, she would be all alone.

"You okay?" Camila asked once she noticed Alexis staring at the trees ahead of her. Alexis never touched her cigarette after lighting it, so it was nearly burnt through once she snapped out of her trance. She threw it on the ground, put it out with her sneaker, and lit another one.

"Yeah, I'm just thinking," Alexis excused. When she started scratching an itch on her shoulder, her shirt moved enough for Camila to notice what looked like a half-healed burn.

"You don't have to keep living in a motel," Camila told her in a spur of the moment decision. "You can stay with me."

"I can't," Alexis looked down, shaking her head. As much as she would love to sleep in a soft, clean bed, she had something to prove. "I promised myself I'd figure it on my own."

"I'm not taking no for an answer," Camila fought back. "You're in our family now, and we take care of each other."

Alexis kept her eyes on the ground as she teared up, a new dark spot on the wood giving her away. Camila rested her head on her new friend's shoulder, hoping to comfort her without making her uncomfortable.

"You're safe with us," Camila said quietly. Alexis's heart stung as she heard those words. Was she really that broken? Did they all see her that way? Is pity the reason they took her in? "I know what it looks like to be hurt by someone you love. My tía had the same look in her eyes when she left her husband."

"You don't know anything," Alexis responded defensively, pulling her shoulder out from under Camila's head.

"I know you don't need to do this alone," Camila persisted, her voice now a low whisper. "You're here because you have five people who want you to be here. Nobody is forcing you to stay, but you come back because you know you want to be here, too."

"Please don't tell anyone."

Camila barely heard Alexis, her voice croaking as she admitted out loud for the first time that she was hurting. She wished she could spend the rest of her life hiding her pain, and she hated that someone saw through her so easily. She hated that she gave in so easily. She hated that she was in this situation at all. It made her feel weak, like she couldn't defend herself. Why didn't she leave the first time? Why did she let him hurt her for so long?

"I'll never tell a soul. You can trust me." Camila squeezed Alexis's hand, watching as she dug something out of her pocket. She almost dropped her cigarette on her leg as she used the same hand she was holding it with to take out a pill and swallow it dry. It wasn't uncommon for people to rely on drugs nowadays, it was almost the norm. Camila was surrounded by four guys who did the same. It always made her sad, though, to imagine how much pain people must go through to get to that point. "I understand not wanting to tell the guys, but you can trust them, too."

That night changed Alexis's life.

Alexis: I ended up moving in with Camila. I thought I was seeing the band a lot before, but then they became the biggest part of my life. Billy was the member I saw the most back then, though.

Billy: Camila took Alexis in like a sister. I got to know her a lot more after that, being around Camila all the time. I felt protective over her, like I did over Graham back then. It just came naturally, I had no idea how much it really meant to her.

Eddie: Alexis and I were becoming really close until she moved in with Camila and spent most of her time around Billy. Then, we decided to head to California.

Billy: I wanted Camila to come with me, and I wanted Alexis to come, too. None of us wanted to leave either of them behind.

Camila: When Billy first mentioned California, I thought that was it for us. Alexis was the one who convinced me to go.

Alexis: I told Camila the day we met that I wanted to go to California. I finally had the chance, but I wasn't going without her. Not after everything she did for me. I was ready to give it all up.

Eddie: I remember that day. It was raining, and I was loading everyone's shit on top of the minibus when I saw them.