xiii. only human

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Alexis sat for ten more days, counting down the minutes until she was able to leave. The physical effects of her detox had worn off, but the mental effects were still very prevalent.

She read the articles and other papers her doctor gave her. She had nothing else to read or do, and she wasn't willing to be around other people. She didn't want to compare herself to everyone else in there. She didn't think she was like them. She didn't think she was struggling.

She did take in everything she read, though. She had heard about the recent feminist movement before, but she never looked into it in much detail until she was physically handed the resources she needed to do so. She read about these women and thought of Daisy.

These women reminded her of Daisy and the strength she gives off with her presence. Then she thinks of how Daisy is able to do this: with drugs and alcohol. Daisy isn't like these women. Instead of fighting through her pain, she pushes it away. She taught Alexis how to do the same, and now she was in a rehab center getting psychological treatment.

That's how she got through the last ten days. She thought of Daisy, and how much better they both could be if they were like the women on the news. They'd get the respect they deserve instead of being told something is wrong with them. Nothing is wrong with them. They're only human.

Apparently, that acknowledgement was enough for her release to be approved. She didn't expect anyone to pick her up, and she planned on finding a hotel to stay the night, but none of that happened. Instead, Billy and Daisy met her at the front desk.

"We leave for the tour tomorrow," Billy started.

"I said I wouldn't go without you," Daisy smiled. Something about what she said made Alexis's heart hurt, but it was in a good way. Someone actually needed her.

"You're staying on my bus. It'll be you, me and Graham," Billy continued. "You think you can go home and pack a bag?"

"Will you come with me?" She asked them, easily agreeing to their proposition. Maybe she didn't ruin as much as she thought. Maybe she could get through this with Billy. It all sounded better than being alone.

"Absolutely," Daisy smiled, wrapping her arm around Alexis's shoulders as they walked to Billy's car.

"Where have you been?" Alexis asked her. "I tried calling you. A lot."

"Getting married in Greece," Daisy explained. "I sent a postcard and got one back from Karen telling me what happened. I'm sorry."

"How did you find me here?"

"I went to the diner," Billy laughed. "They asked me if I was Eddie first. When I told them my name they gave you up pretty easily. They said they saw you put me down as your emergency contact."

"I didn't trust anyone else," Alexis said quietly. "You're the only one who knew what I was going through."

"I have your back," Billy reassured. "You'll be sick of me by the end of the tour, but it will be-"

"Worth it?" Alexis asked. Billy smiled at her through the rear view mirror.

"You got it."

Alexis got more and more nervous as they got closer to the house. She held onto her bag which had two outfits, the pile of papers she got from the doctor, and a prescription bottle. There are no official medication recommendations for women in Alexis's particular situation, so she was prescribed PTSD medication similar to what they gave war veterans. According to the doctor, the two categories aren't very far off in terms of some medical findings Alexis didn't understand at all.

"Warren took Eddie to the movies, so it's just Karen and Graham," Billy explained. "That okay?"

"Yeah," Alexis smiled softly, suddenly feeling the need to cry. She knew she hurt them by running off. It's something else she had to acknowledge as part of her release conditions. She did, in fact, have to write apology letters. She figured it would be better to apologize directly to them, though, so that's what she intended to do. Thinking about what she wanted to say felt overwhelming. When Billy pulled into the driveway, she couldn't get out of the car.

"You got this, babe," Daisy told her, pulling her out of the car and wiping her tears. The fact that Daisy could put aside her own addictions to help Alexis with her recovery shocked Billy, but also made him appreciate her more. Daisy Jones actually cared about another human being. Meanwhile, she rubbed drugs and alcohol in his face every chance she got. He knew he was different, though.

"Oh, my god," Karen sighed, hugging Alexis as soon as she walked through the door. "Normal people don't just run away, you know."

"We're not normal people, Karen," Daisy smiled.

"I'm so sorry," Alexis whispered. "I shouldn't have left you there. I wasn't-"

"I know," Karen interrupted. "I'm glad you're alright."

"Me too," Alexis sighed, holding onto the hug as long as she could.

"Welcome back," Graham hugged her next. She knew he didn't just mean welcome back to the house, but she didn't let that bother her. He was right. She was gone long before she actually ran away. She knew that now. "Do I get an apology letter? I think I'm going to start a collection."

"Shut up," Alexis laughed, squeezing him tightly. "Yeah, you do."

"Sweet," he sang, pulling away from her and clapping his hands together. "Let's get you ready to go!"

After the humbling experience of handing everyone their apology letters, they started to pack. She left Warren's in his room and held onto Eddie's. She wasn't ready to give him his yet. She was still struggling with how she wanted to do it; she didn't want to do it at all. With Billy breathing down her neck, though, she wasn't going to get away with hiding anything.

She wasn't ready to see him yet, so she left his letter in his room on her way out of the house. That night, she stayed with Daisy and her new husband, Nicky. On his face, he seemed like a great guy. He wouldn't stay that way, though.

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