I'm not one of those crazy girls (Hayley Williams fanfic)

Chapter 15 (Get lost)

Alex's pov
I woke up feeling startled.
Scared. afraid. confused.
"Hayley" I shouted, noticing her absence.
I scrambled out of the bed, swiftly moving to the bathroom.
Only to find that she wasn't there either.
And now this weird feeling was only getting worse.
and I don't know exactly what the feeling could be described as.
I just felt.
Lost.

I ran to the hallway, checking all the rooms until finding Taylor sitting at the foot of his bed.
"Do you know where Hayley is" I asked, my hands shaking slightly and my legs feeling like jello.

"She left out" he replied, his eyebrows furrowed. I guess because he was catching onto my anxiety.
I ran my hands through my hair and nodded my head roughly before walking back into the hallway.

Taylor following after me.
"Are you ok" he asked as I paced the living room floor.
My hands shaking and my eyes darting in every which direction.

"Just leave me alone Taylor" I barked, my eyes going wide.
That wasn't me talking.
That was something else.
Someone else.
"alex, something is wrong. I can help" he asked, stepping closer.

I shook my head furiously, my eyes now closed.
But I was still pacing the floor.
"Nothing is wrong Taylor, just go" I said now, softly. but very sternly.

The next thing I knew his arms were wrapped around my waist.
Pulling down onto the couch next to him.
"Alex what's wrong" he muttered into my ear.
Making me feel calm, but still jittery.

"I don't know" I now calmly admitted with a sigh.
"well what happened" he asked, still holding me tightly to his side.
Our faces were only but so many inches apart.

"I just woke up, and I felt...i don't know lost.
All I wanted was Hayley" I sighed, my eyes trying to look everywhere but his.
Who knew I could wake up and be so dependent on Hayley, so weak and fragile without her.

And I don't even know why.

"Did you have a bad dream" he asked, I could tell he was really trying to make his better.
But my heart rate was still up, and my hands were still a bit shaky.

"No no, I just woke up and felt anxious, scared" I tried to explain the feeling, but noting could.
"It's ok Alex" Taylor whispered, now looking into my eyes.

I swear if I just leaned into a little bit closer.....

And that's just what he did.

His lips touching mine.
His soft lips touching mine.
It shouldn't have felt so good, but it did.

His hands running up my back, and holding the small of it.
I felt so safe in his arms.
And all the jitter bugs went away.

But as soon as I realized what was happening I pulled away quickly, my eyes wide.
"Why'd you do that" I shouted.
There comes the jitters.

I backed away from him.
Standing up and backing farther away.
So that I was now standing in the corner of the room.
"That was wrong" I said softer now,
My hands roaming through the roots of my hair.

"Why'd you kiss back" Taylor now fussed, his eyebrows raised.
"I didn't lean in in the first place" I set my hands on my hips.

This was such a terrible feeling.
A knot in my stomach formed and I slowly made my way to the kitchen.
Taylor grabbed me by the wrist stopping me and looking into my eyes.
"That was wrong" he said softly, "but you can't deny that it felt right"

I wanted to slap him.
I don't know why but
I wanted to slap him so hard.

"Taylor York, I'm sorry that I engaged in that, but if you think that that was okay, then you're insane" I spat, yanking my wrist free and going back into my bedroom.