"I think about dying but I don't want to die. Not even close. In fact my problem is the complete opposite. I want to live, I want to escape. I feel trapped and bored and claustrophobic. There's so much to see and so much to do but I somehow still find myself doing nothing at all. I'm still here in this metaphorical bubble of existence and I can't quite figure out what the hell I'm doing or how to get out of it."
Chapter 32:
PEIRCE'S POV:
I drink ice-cold water, trying to lower my body temperature. Out of the blue, I've become feverish. It doesn't help that I can't get any sleep at night.
I don't want to depend on pills or alcohol, but I haven't rested well in days. Those things always helped me get a good night sleep.
Now I lay in bed, agitated about my situation.
Rose isn't even here.
She won't know if I take a sip or pop a pill.
The problem is I don't have anything. No liquor, no Xanax. Nothing. I threw it all out when I decided to go sober.
To make matters worse, any sleep I get is plagued with nightmares. Most of them involve my father, Rose, and having to do therapy. Exposing my feelings and talking about the past isn't something I want to do.
Yet. . .I don't have anyone else to vent to.
"What about Bloody?"
I whip my head towards the cabinets, where the voice came from. I swear I heard it with my own ears. I rub my eyes, trying to calm down. It was probably nothing.
I take out my cellphone to contact Bloody. She and Rose are the only people I have now. Landon has kept his promise to stay away from me.
Bloody answers after a text. We agree to meet at her house, which is only two blocks away from mine. I get there in about ten minutes.
She lives in a two-floor white building. Flowers are planted neatly on the outside. I assume it's her mother's garden, the one she always talks about with me.
Just as I reach to knock on the door, Bloody storms out, bumping into me. Her bottom lip is split open. Fresh tears coat her face.
"Peirce," she whispers "Peirce, let's go. Get in your car and let's go."
I do as she says without asking any questions. She's clearly distraught and needs to breathe. We both get in my car and drive away in a matter of seconds. I drive and drive until we reach the skate park.
Once I stop, we both get out and start walking around. After a few moments of silence, she finally addresses the situation.
"Sorry bout' that." Bloody starts "I really needed to get away."
"It's fine. I know what it's like: the desire to escape. What happened to your lip?"
"I got in a fight." She plainly says.
She takes a seat in the bench nearby, quickly clearing away the tension with a smile.
"So Peirce-y, how's it been?"
I sit beside her, "It's been alright."
"Tough isn't it? Letting go of all those things?"
"Yeah." I whisper "Harder than I thought."
She takes out a cigarette. After lighting it, she breathes in the smoke.
"This relaxes me." she says "I don't do it often cause' then I can't breathe right, but it relaxes me."
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to Kiss a Drug Addict
العاطفية"Why do you do this to yourself?" "There's a lot of reasons. My past, how it makes me feel and how bad it is without them. But lately, it's because it makes me forget the pain. It makes me forget you." Peirce is a drug addict. Rose wants to be his...
