to Kiss a Drug Addict

21. The Past and The Present

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"Everything falls apart."

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Chapter 21:

Peirce's pov.

The back of my head bangs against the wall. Endless tears stream from my eyes. I've let this gone too far. She loves me. Me. How could I have let this gone so far? Why didn't I tell her before all of this happened? Out of my misery, I curl up in a corner of my apartment. All these thoughts swirling in my mind.

It's time to tell. But I don't want to tell. I don't want to lose her. She would've left me from the start if I'd told her earlier. I was always stuck between a wall and a spear.

My head hits the wall.

Bang.

To make matters worse, that desire has entered me again. My body aches for them once more. Because they promise they'll make me forget, even if it's for a moment.

Bang

I battle with my own demons, desperately trying to unlatch myself from this horrible fear of falling into that world once again.

I crawl to my bed and force myself to sleep.

..............................

I ignore her calls, her texts, and the knocks on the door. I'm too afraid to face that girl who claims to be in love with me. I've come to like her so much I'm unable to hide this one thing anymore. Or anything for that matter.

After she's gone and my phone no longer rings, I get dressed and face the man in the mirror. He looks back at me with broken eyes. Heavy, tired bags hanging under them. His skin pale and drained of life. I don't eat. I grab my skateboard and head towards the park.

Skating works like therapy. It helps me in ways one can't come to imagine. When I ride and my body slices through the air, I only focus on the road in front of me. Nor drugs nor Rose cross my mind. Only the trailing excitement of danger. It is the only thing besides drawing that calms me down.

I fall several times. The pain can't compare to the one I felt last night, when Rose was so close and her soft lips pressed against mine.

Bloody runs towards me after I fall again. My skin is so badly scraped I start bleeding heavily.

"Okay, dude, I think you're done for today."

I push her hands away and grab my skateboard. "One more hour."

She pulls me back, boring her eyes into mine "Everything alright?"

I blink. No reply.

Bloody shakes her head "Come on, I have some bandages in my bag"

I don't protest. If I do, she'll think I'm am messed up. As she tries to clean up the cuts and scrapes I contemplate telling her everything going on. Maybe she can help me sort out everything.

"Sam," I say.

She looks up at me, giving me her whole attention. She does this when I call her by her real name. Because Sam knows I'm being serious.

"What would you do if you loved someone very much but you have something terrible hidden from them?"

She tilts her head to the side and attempts to figure my eyes out. Is this situation going on in my life?

Bloody decides to answer after carefully choosing her words, "Well, I would tell them about it. So they won't hate me if they found out from someone else."