Chapter Five

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Danny sighed as he stared at the television screen. Everything was a mess. His feelings were such an odd mixture of happiness and sadness. James brought on these feelings and the memories when they were younger just fueled the nostalgic illusion of happiness. If he was the last connection to Mell what was he supposed do with it? Danny did not want to lose Mell forever. Sure he still had his memories of his sister but he always knew she wanted him and James to end up together. For some reason he wanted to make that happen.

Or maybe he did have genuine feelings for James. Maybe he did like this version of James. What did Danny want?

Harrison was still the man he loved. The man who he could spent the rest of his life with. The man who had a child he loved as if he were his blood. The man of his dreams.

What was Danny doing?! He shouldn't be entertaining these thoughts of James. He was content and happy with Harrison and he was going to marry him. That was that. There was no reason to go to James.

"Why hello there?" Harrison said as he walked into the room.

"Hi..." Danny said as he smiled and into his future husband's eyes. "I'm having some weird feelings. That's why I've been a bit distant lately."

"Is it because of Mell?" Harrison asked.

"Yeah, you could say that." Danny just chuckled a little as tears started to fall out of his eyes. "I just don't know what I want or what to do?"

Harrison hugged him and held him tightly.

"I don't know what to tell you." Harrison kissed Danny on the forehead. "Just know that everyone loves you. I especially love you and no matter what I'll be there for you. Since the moment you came up to talk to me in that library back in Harvard I've been in love with you."

"I love you, too." Danny wrapped his arms around him. "I love you so much."

__________

"So you're thinking about him like an object?" Kim asked as she handed Danny a cup of coffee.

"That's the gist of it." Danny sighed. "I know I love Harrison and I know I love James but I am so certain and sure that I want to spend the rest of my life with Harrison. I've accepted that. Now I have to tell James about my feelings towards him and all this could finally end."

"Your feelings towards him being a representation of Mell..." Kim looked at her coffee for a while then looked up to look at Danny's eyes. "You do what you think is right but in all honesty, I may not agree with it fully, it seems you're feelings for James are more than just a recollection of the past. Sure that has something to do with it but it's more than that. I mean it has to be. Whenever you two are together something from a kiss can come out of nowhere and that chemistry is still there. You both have a knack for staying in each other's lives."

"You're implying that I love him." Danny said.

Kim just shrugged and drank her coffee as Danny stared at the TV screen. Even if it was love Danny had to stop it from getting any further. Maybe it was a relic from the past that Danny wanted to keep around or maybe it was real true love and not some nostalgic haze...

Who knows?

In the end, it'll come down to choosing between James and Harrison. It was obvious that Harrison would win. Danny loved everything about Harrison and they've been together so long. That's who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. When Danny had that choice at Kat's wedding it all came down to Harrison. He knew he'd make the same choice again and he needed to end this chapter in his life.

The doorbell rang and Kim got up to answer it. Danny looked to see a guy come inside. He was wearing thick glasses and had on military outfit. Kim happily hugged the guy.

"Whose this?" Danny asked.

"Name's Anderson." He shook Danny's hand. "Just finally came from Iraq."

"Kim's brother!" Danny smiled. "The stories she told me. I'm surprised she didn't tell me you were gonna be here this week."

"I didn't know he was even coming." Kim said. "It's great surprise though. I've missed you so much and I bet Grant's missed you just as much."

"Ummmm..." Anderson looked a bit sad at the comment. "We broke up a while back. That's why I haven't been talking about him much."

"Oh shit." Kim gasped. "What happened? You have to tell me everything."

"Do you mind?" Anderson asked Danny.

"As long as you don't." Danny said.

_________

Harrison looked at the clock on the wall and wondered why time seemed to going so slowly today. Everything in this town felt like a nostalgic blow to his face. All the romantic getaways and the adventures him and Danny with Mell seemed so distant. It hurt him as much as it hurt Danny that Mell died. At the end of the day it felt like he could lose Danny just as quickly as Mell was gone. It hurt him even more when thoughts like this invaded his head or even all the times Danny cries.

He hated seeing him like that.

Now it's has been a week since the funeral and even more weeks since Danny found out about Mell. Slowly he has been getting over the despise of losing his sister. Surprisingly Danny was getting better quickly.

Harrison wanted it to be because he was there but the back of head kept whispering James. He closed his eyes and told that whisper to shut up. Now all he needed to focus on is Danny's well being and none of that jealous bullshit should ever surface. It took years to build up the trust and Harrison knew that Danny was not about to destroy it again.

Harrison breathed in and out slowly.

Petty jealousy wasn't going to solve anything.

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