Incase (A Demi Lovato Fanfic)

ChapterFifteen

Holaaa, I am going on holiday on tuesday for a week. So I will not be updating; 

Five likes atleast please for the next update.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Miyah'sPOV

After Demi left I just laid in my bed, staring at the wall. I was glad Demi visited. She is one of the things that currently keeps me going. 

 "Miyah, come on it is dinner time." A nurse poked her head round the door.

"I-I.. I'm not hungry." I muttered.

"Well you have to eat something." She said.

I just glared at her. She walked into my room.

"Follow me please Miyah." She grabbed my hand.

I followed her down the corridor past the dining hall. Into an office. The office was similar to a doctors room. 

"Step on the scales please." She commanded.

I bit my lip. Staring at her. 

"Because you're under a section we have to weigh you, and can force you."

Again, I didn't take my eyes off her. But not moving. Frozen like stone. The scales were my biggest fear.

Another woman walked through the door. They both enclosed around me. I stayed tense. They undressed me, slowly; untill I was left in my underwear. I couldn't help feeling they were staring at my cuts, scars and fat. They held me over the scales, I still stood still. I waited for them to register me. 

"6 stone 3lbs" She muttered to the other nurse; who wrote it down in my record book.

"Miyah.." The other one began. "You're underweight. You have to eat."

I got dressed then they took me to the dining hall. I sat down at a table in the corner; without a plate. A woman strolled over towards me with two plates in her hand. She pulled out the chair and sat next to me.

 "Miyah, I am your dietitian. My name is Mary. I am going to help you get better with your anorexia."

That word. Anorexia, rang through my ears. Why did they think I was anorexic. I am fat. She pushed a plate of mash, peas and sausages infront of me, and then handed me a fork. I stared at the food. Tapping my feet against the floor. I knew that even eating a small amount would make me gain weight. It would make me even more fat. I pushed the food around the plate. I wanted to scream.

"B-B-But I'm not hungry." I started.
"Miyah, atleast try to eat abit. You have to or you'll be stuck in here for ever." She patted my back.

I piled the peas onto my fork and put a few into my mouth. I hummed; chewing them to a pulp. Just them peas had taken me atleast 10 minutes to swallow. Unless you've been here in this situation yourself you would never understand.

I'd struggled to get into the routine here. I just hated having to socialise.

A rough daily routine consisted of.. 

7:15am. Wake up.

8:00am. Breakfast.

9:00am. School.

1:00pm. Lunch

2:00pm. Free time - Meetings with your psychologist, art therapy etc.

4:30pm. Family visiting times.

5:30pm. Dinner.

6:30pm. Family visiting times.

10:00pm. Lights out.

One thing I did super hate here was my meeting with my psychologist. Because then i'd have to open up. They expected me to talk. When in reality I have nothing to say. I've been used to keeping things bottled up, I just can't bring myself to talk to anyone. Not even Demi on her visits.

The fact that Demi hadn't given up on me was one reason why I felt stronger and the need to get better in time. I actually had someone waiting for me. Someone to go home to. 

---

I'd been on the ward for a week with out really much improvements.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

Rubbing my eyes I sat up. The sun was beating through my closed curtains. Dragging myself out of bed I pulled them open and yawned.

Another day in the nut house; I mumbed whilst fumbling to get changed.

I put on my favourite black skinny jeans and my baggy grey jack wills hoodie. As I put on my jeans I felt something in the pocket. 

The blade of a pencil sharpener. A familiar wave of excitement went through me. I was slashing at my arms rapidly with the blade. Up and down, left and right. I finally stopped when I felt light headed. Looking around reality sunk in. I was stood in a pool of my blood. I wouldn't be able to hide this now. Quickly I stumbled over to the window and chucked the blade out into the bushes. Then cowering into the foetal position I closed my eyes. Hoping, once again. To not open them.