Nonexistent

TWENTY-THREE- Rogue

TEARS disappear into the water. 

I've never cried in water before. It makes my vision blurry, as I helplessly swim forward in the water after Celeste.

But it's no use. She's always just a little bit farther. Just a little bit out of reach. 

I don't see her figure, but I see the blood that indicates that she's just up ahead. 

Don't waste your time. 

The voice grows softer and softer each time it comes back. Sending mind phrases, something that comes so naturally for her requires so much energy now. I hear the strain in her voice, hinting much exerted effort.

Rogue, it's too late for me. 

I feel her words gnawing into my chest. "Stop saying that!" I shout in my mind. 

But even I see the truth in her statement. 

Logically, I'll never get to her. Even if I do, she's lost so much blood now it wouldn't make a difference. 

But I push aside rational thoughts as I desperately push myself through the water. 

This is all going too fast. I don't even know what happened. Did the basilisk attack Celeste? What happened afterwards? Why wasn't I there when she needed me the most?

Not long after, the soft voice is back in my head.

Make sure Mason is okay, tell Calia I say goodbye, lead them to victory passed the finish line...

No, no, no!

She's accepting death. But I'm not. 

All of a sudden, a striking pain runs through my nerves as I smash into a rock hardly on my elbow and silently yelp as I grasp my joint. I shut my eyes so tightly it hurts. This can't be happening, Celeste can't leave me.

But I should've known. The Death Race is exactly that. A race of death. If unpredictable terrain and ferocious creatures are killing students as the days pass, why didn't it ever occur to me that it could happen to any of us? Why did I care so much about the military, when it never gave us a second thought?

Celeste never wanted this. But I always did. I can't go through without her.

Rogue...

"What?" I scream in my head.

But she doesn't reply. And I can't help but panic.

Celeste? Celeste! 

No answer.

I thrash my limbs uncontrollably, blindly pushing through the waves and reaching for my sister. But I already know what the silence in my mind means. The coursing river pushes me back and forth, and I'm no longer exerting effort. All I want to do is die.

Because I know, it would be the last time I ever heard that soft voice in my head again.