Nonexistent

THIRTY- Rogue

THE bitterness evaporates into a surprisingly sweet aftertaste.

My eyes remain shut as I wait for something, anything-- even death. But all that comes is the soft chuckle of the little professor and three slow claps. My throat feels dry.

"Congratulations, Number 33. You're alive."

I open my eyes and release a breath I don't even know I was holding. "Wait... does this mean..." my faltering voice trails off in thought.

"Yes," the man nods. "You are a Special."

I don't know how to act. I don't know the proper way to respond...

 So I don't.

I simply stare blankly ahead, trying to process this information. 

I've always thought Specials were untouchable, unattainable. No matter how hard I worked, it was the one thing I'd never be. But here I am, dumbfounded, yet ecstatic. A Special. I knew I wasn't crazy. 

Excitement sparks through the doctor's tiny figure as he hops towards me and reaches for the empty vial. He fixes his collar and straightens up his posture. Standing as tall as his short legs can extend, he speaks.

"Let me introduce myself. I am Professor Ivanoff, your personal scientist. I will be taking blood samples and checkups very regularly, so please expect much of that."

I almost snort. "Oh, let me introduce myself. I am Rogue 33, your personal guinea pig." 

"Number 33, please understand. We all care for you very much here. Your discovery is worth more than many breakthroughs I've seen in my lifetime." 

"Care for me?" I snap. "You didn't even think I was worthy of a formal introduction before I drank that poison!" My fists clench and unclench themselves, full of bitterness.

His eyes flicker in astonishment as he says, "Well now, you're one of the most valuable citizens in Valburn."

I take a deep breath in and face my reflection in the one-way mirror. I really don't know what I expected. To find someone different, maybe. But mirrors don't lie. I see myself. Just the same old me. 

The doctor sighs. "All my life, I've only witnessed the discovery of one other like you." He heads to his chair and raises it up until we're of eye-level. 

His statement sparks the tiniest bit of my interest. All ears, I wait for him to continue with details. 

"He was just as nervous as you, if not more. Much more frightened that you were. The poor boy, was afraid of nothing but himself."

I imagine a guy, in this same room years ago. Isolated, trapped, unsure. 

I understood completely. 

"What was his name?" I wonder out loud, pressing for anything more that could help me connect to him. 

"Airis."

Airis.

I bite my lip. "How is he now?"

"Eh," Professor Ivanoff says with a shrug. "Only the right-hand commander of the King himself." 

The right-hand commander. Amazing.

"Woah, looks like the standards are set high."

"Yes, he did indeed raise the bars." He chuckled in nostalgia. His eyes twinkled with memories. "Bright and talented, that one."

Suddenly, hidden speakers start to screech before becoming clear again. A voice is projected into the room.  

"Nice to know people still say good things about me," a male voice interrupts our conversation.

Professor Ivanoff smiles. "Sir Airis. How kind of you to finally speak up." He's looking directly into the one-way mirror. 

"Give me a moment, I'll be right there," Airis says through the speakers.

The hidden door in the wall withdraws once again as anticipation bubbles in my stomach.

A man, much taller than Professor Ivanoff steps out of the wall. He is middle-aged, but he looks like one of those men who get more attractive the older they get. His dark hair is swept effortlessly from his forehead and his teeth are in perfect rows. 

Professor Ivanoff steps between us. "Sir Airis, I would like to formally introduce you to Number 33."

"Nice to finally meet you," he says, sticking his hand out for a shake. His other finds its place in his pocket. "You have no idea how much of a godsend you are in our current situation."

I reach out to shake his hand. His grip is tight and steady. He shakes my hand in two firm, solid motions, like a robot programmed for action.

This stranger has been sitting on the other side of the one-way mirror the whole time. He ignored my calls, and he didn't do anything to stop the professor from giving me the Amaranthine-mercury. He wouldn't have cared if I died.

If I had collapsed after drinking the substance, I'd just be a worthless Deviant dead on the ground. He would've walked over me in indifference. I'm only precious to him now that he knows what I am.

So what if I'm a Special like him. He's just like everyone else.

"Number 33, this is Commander Airis, the first Special Deviant discovered after Tiberius." I try not to scowl at Airis' handsome face as Professor looks at him before looking back at me with a smug face.

"Your personal trainer."