A Muslim's Romantic Journey

Chapter 8.

Safia’s POV

After the whole embarrassing Abubakar incident, I was in no rush to get married. I’d resolved to enjoy my single life a little more. When we were making plans to go to see Sheikh Khalid Yasin’s talk, Hamza had told me his friend could drive us. I immediately knew there was something fishy going on by the tone of his voice. After much inquiring, he admitted it was Yusuf who he had asked to drive us. I told him no. I didn’t feel comfortable enough with a non-mahram driving us let alone Yusuf! He was the first person to ever have shown interest in me and I didn’t want to ruin that. Also, I knew myself too well. If Yusuf drove us, all my attention would be on him and that’s just Islamically wrong isn’t it?

I had gone to the lecture and as always, I was so moved and inspired by Sheikh Khalid Yasin’s words. I was afraid to take Sara with me in fear that she would cause disruption. Aisha wasn’t feeling well so I thought I’d help her with the kids. Luckily, Sara was very well behaved so Hafsa and I took her for a treat to the park after the talk ended.

When Hafsa and I got home, we were so tired. As usual I had dropped a bit of ice cream on my hijab. I left the bathroom door open as I washed the stain out.

“This scene is all too familiar. When are you going to start eating like a human?”

“The day my brother learns to act like one.”

“Who? Amaan? I’m gonna tell him!” Hamza put on a fake shocked face.

“What do you want?” I asked after failing to think of a comeback.

“I need a word with you.”

“Proceed.” I told him.

“Stop trying to be intellectual.”

“If one is highly intellectual then one should express their intellect.” Hamza rolled his eyes. “Fine, go downstairs, I’m coming.” I left my hijab on the radiator to dry, taking a fresh one out of my wardrobe. I loosely wrapped it around my head. There weren’t any non-mahrams in the house but this was just a habit of mine. I walked into our spacious living room to find Hamza wasn’t there. “Where’s Hamza?” I asked out loud to no one in particular

“In here.” He replied from the dining room. We called it the ‘dining room’ but we hardly ate there. We either sat on table in the kitchen or sat in the living room to eat. The dining room was just a room where we sat to discuss matters away from our parents. Only guests ate dinners there.

“Why doth thou summon me?” I asked.

“Take a seat Shakespeare.” I sat down across from Hamza. I knew he was going to be talking to me about something serious. I wasn’t in the mood.

“So what’s this about?”

“You know Yusuf hasn’t seen you either yet? He was lowering his gaze too.” Hamza smiled at me as if this would make me like Yusuf more. I didn’t smile back. Nor was I happy. Yeah it was great that the guy was practicing but why would he ask to get to know me if he hadn’t seen me? “He thinks you’re smart and funny.” Hamza said as if he was reading my mind. I felt my thoughts leading to negativity as it processed in my mind that Yusuf hadn't seen me yet. I tried to stop it but they jumped into my head. Of course Yusuf didn’t like me because of my looks. That sounds like a good thing but I so wished he thought I was pretty. He probably wouldn’t want to get to know me if he’d seen me.

 “Cool.” I replied forcing a smile. ‘Allah moulded you, Allah loves the way you look, Allah will grant your wish of a loving husband, be patient.’ I kept saying over and over in my head. I didn’t like this feeling of insecurity. It literally made me feel slightly sick.