A Muslim's Romantic Journey

Chapter 32.

Safia’s POV

If the moon was sighted, Ramadan would officially begin. That was why my mum was now telling me to go home. I had been in my room all morning, thinking a lot about Yusuf. I didn’t want to see anyone. Months ago, I had everything planned out for my first day of Ramadan as a wife. I had planned what food I was going to cook and how I was going to wake Yusuf up for suhoor (the time before dawn). But here I was, sitting at my parents’ house telling my mum I wanted to stay with her.

“You should spend the first day of Ramadan with your husband and his family.”

“But mum, I want to stay here just for a few days.”

“Then I’ll call Yusuf to come.”

“You can’t, I already told you I’m inviting Amy for iftar. She doesn’t have anyone to break her fast with.”

“You can sit with Amy while Yusuf sits with the boys.”

“Mummy please,” I begged. “Just let me have a couple of days of Ramadan like how they used to be. Eating your delicious food for suhoor and helping you prepare for iftar. That’s one of my favourite things about Ramadan. The whole family bonds over the two meals. I don’t want to miss the family bonding!” That was true, and it was also a very good argument to convince my mum to let me stay.

“I’m phoning Juweria.”

“No mum! No, please!” And that was how I blew my cover.

“I knew it. My motherly instincts told me something was wrong. Come on, tell me.” For about four days, I had been pretending everything was fine. But inside, there was a weird pain that wouldn’t leave me, not even for a second. Every mention of Yusuf made that pain expand. Now, with my mother standing in front of me, I broke down.

“We had a fight.” I said crying. When my mother pulled me into a hug, I began to sob.

“Hush my sweetheart, sit down.” My mum sat on my bed and I sat down next to her, leaning my head on her shoulder and crying into it. “Tell me what happened.”

“I can’t.” I said sniffling. My mum took a tissue out of the tissue box beside my bed and handed it over to me.

“Of course you can.” I wanted to, but I knew mum would tell dad and dad would tell uncle Yahya and then the whole family would know. I was also unsure whether my mum would believe me. Aunt Jerry was her childhood friend.

“Mum,” I said taking a deep breath to stop my crying. “What was Aunt Jerry like when you were kids?” I didn’t lift my head to see the expression on my mum’s face but I could tell by the change in her voice she was surprised by my question.

“Juweria? She was… Okay I guess. We were a big group of friends and she was just one of us. She was always a bit bossy and she liked things to go her way. Other than that, she was quite sweet and funny. Why? Did she say something to you?”

“I just feel like I’m not living up to her expectations as a daughter in law.” My mum pulled back and put her hands on my shoulders.

“Safia, why do you always do this to yourself? People think the world of you and you sit here thinking that you can’t live up to anyone’s expectations. Forget people’s expectations. You’re perfect the way you are.” Of course my mum was going to say this. “Surely that’s not it. What else happened?” Mum asked.

“Could you ask Hamza please? He knows.” I said not wanting to repeat any of the things that happened.

“Hamza knows?” My mum looked so upset. I hated being the reason for the frown she had. “Okay, I’ll ask him.” I wiped away my last few tears. “Come downstairs and eat something. You haven’t had anything to eat all day.” My mum said getting up.