A Muslim's Romantic Journey

Chapter 19.

Safia’s POV

He had called me beautiful! For the first time in my life I was called beautiful by someone who wasn’t family or a friend. It came from Yusuf. That alone, made me shiver in joy. Those words and the image of him saying them were on replay in my mind. All I could think about was Yusuf, the way he looked at me and the things he said. That was until the time came for me to leave home.

“No hugs, no crying, no goodbyes. I’ll be back soon.” I said taking a deep breath. I looked around at my home, my life. It was my comfort, my escape from the big scary world. I knew every corner of this house and every little piece of it provided me with a sense of protection. I looked around at my huge family around me. I couldn’t think about leaving them, if I did, I’d break. I followed Yusuf out to the car telling myself I was going to be coming home very soon. I reminded myself of the deal that was made, that I would be allowed to spend a lot of time at home because of my studies.

Just as I was about to get in the car, my dad came and kissed me on my head. I swallowed the lump in my throat and took another deep breath. Blinking fast, hoping my tears won’t fall, I climbed into the car.

“I’ll be back soon.” I said more to myself than my family. The car started, causing a pain in my chest. I closed my eyes as we pulled away. I didn’t want to speak and prayed to Allah that Yusuf wouldn’t try to talk to me yet. I was leaving my home, my family, my everything. In an attempt to calm my thoughts, I began to think about Yusuf. He was brave. I had actually thought I would describe Yusuf as ‘my sweet, shy, awkward husband.’ But no, I was the shy awkward one.

Allah had listened to my prayers and we reached Yusuf’s house without speaking to each other. As soon as he turned the engine off, I stepped out of the car, desperate for fresh air. I felt a lot better. Then Yusuf took my hand and led me to his door, causing weird sensations in my tummy. This must be butterflies. I thought I had felt them but not like this. This was a new feeling and I liked it.

Maryam greeted us at the door and instantly my mood lightened up. She was one of those people that just made me smile. She took my bag and my other hand and pulled me inside their house, which was now also my house. I had come here once before, and it still looked just as small. That was probably because they had a normal sized family compared to mine. Technically only 6 people lived at my house but everyone was around so often it didn’t feel that way.

I chatted with Maryam, Yusuf and their dad for longer than I thought I would. I was surprised how easy it felt for me to talk to his dad, he was a funny man. Their mum came in and told Yusuf to show me our room. As I followed Yusuf up, my whole body was shaking and I was sweating again. I went into my new room that I would be sharing with Yusuf. How was I going to share? My room in my house was mine only with my things. It was okay for people to take things out but I really disliked when something that wasn’t mine was placed in my room. Now I was going to have a room where only half the things would be mine. I was grateful to see Maryam come in. I wasn’t ready to be alone with Yusuf again. He made me feel too tingly, if that made sense. It felt good but it came with bad side effects, weird breathing, going red and feeling very hot.

When Maryam left, the night turned into a disaster for me. There was that incident with the clothes in the suitcase, then I had no pajamas so I had to wear Yusuf’s shirt. I had to kick him out of his own room to change which made me feel bad. At first I didn’t even want to wear his shirt but I felt I had no other choice. But then I wore it and it felt so comfortable and I wondered whether he’d let me keep it. Then I got ready for bed with my new bathrobe which I absolutely loved. It was like an abaya, up to my ankles and it had a hood. I had to share the house with Javed which meant I had to cover. I didn’t mind, I kind of did that already sometimes.