A Muslim's Romantic Journey

Chapter 36.

Safia’s POV

Throughout Ramadan, I prayed every day at iftar time that Yusuf and I would be together soon. Now that I knew he wanted to be with me, made me feel a lot better. However, my dad’s idea frightened me. Not even mum could change his mind. She wasn’t one to counter someone’s opinion in public; she would always take the person aside and express her opinion. The gentle manner in which she spoke usually made one change their mind if they were in the wrong. But my dad wouldn’t budge.

Uncle Yahya had convinced him Yusuf was a good man and my dad agreed, especially when that parcel arrived with my name on it. It was an iPhone. I asked my family who bought it and Hamza told us it was Yusuf. I showed it to my dad, telling him how amazing Yusuf was. Even then, there was no way dad was letting me go back to Yusuf’s house because of Aunt Jerry and Javed.

I couldn’t deny I disliked them a lot. But even then I tried to forgive them. I needed forgiveness from Allah, especially after the things I’d said to Yusuf. Maybe by forgiving them, I myself would be forgiven. I wasn’t sure if Yusuf had forgiven me even though he said he would sort this problem out.

I’d learnt many things during Ramadan and I was glad it was during this month that my eyes opened up to reality. I realized my family wasn’t perfect. If it weren’t for the holy month, this would have hit me hard and I don’t know what state I would have been in. I loved my family and in my eyes they were always perfect. Seeing those ideas that your mind created breakdown was painful.

What Yusuf said was true about Aisha. She really did make everyone else take care of her kids any time she could. Also, the men in my family were lazy. It was always the women cooking and cleaning. They didn’t like it when I pointed it out to them. That annoyed me.

“Safia, get me my laptop from upstairs.” Hamza said to me a few days into Ramadan.

“Oh I’m sorry. I didn’t realize your legs weren’t working.” I replied sarcastically. He gave me an angry glare. The glare was more for my sarcasm than not getting his laptop. I made a mental note to not be rude when trying to slowly change the ways of this house. I got his laptop for him just to make up for being disrespectful.

But from that moment on, every time a male member of the family asked a woman to do something for them, I found it frustrating. That was why I had been talking a lot about how the prophet helped with housework. Everyone just ignored me and I began to think, what’s the point? I try and help people but they don’t listen. Then I reminded myself, Allah listens and He would reward me for my effort.

I was sad to see Ramadan coming to an end. I felt like this every year. Towards the end of Ramadan I wanted to hold on to the blessed days and savor them. The last few days I increased the amount I prayed and before I knew it, Ramadan was over.

I was happy for Eid, but not excited and enthusiastic as I was for every Eid I previously had. There was only one reason for that, Yusuf. I had spoken to my dad, asked him what he wanted from Yusuf, what he expected from him. His response was unclear. I don’t think he was so sure himself. He knew Yusuf didn’t have the money to buy us a place to stay. I concluded he just wanted to see Yusuf make an effort to show that he was worthy of me. That made me feel special even though I strongly opposed this idea of dad’s.

When Eid came, I dressed up with the help of Amy and Hafsa knowing that I was going to see Yusuf. I felt nervous and happy, although I was worried about what my father would say. Surely he wouldn’t want me to divorce. But I couldn’t see a solution to this dilemma.

Amy was spending Eid with us. She looked beautiful in her black abaya embroidered with crystals. I suspected Hamza thought so too. When she was on her way to my room, Hamza came out of his room and I think they had a moment. They looked into each other’s eyes a second too long. When Amy was in my room with Hafsa, I chased Hamza to ask him about it.