13 Reasons Why S1 // Jade Thirlwall

Tape 12

We were never friends, you were famous I was unknown. You moved and came to our school, everyone wanted to be your friend. I could tell you were getting tired of everyone crowding around you all the time. You were going to go on tour soon for your latest album you had out. Your manager said that you could bring anyone from our school to go on tour with you, which I thought was quite odd. Out of all the people you could choose, you picked me. I didn't hesitate to go, because I wanted to get out of that hell hole aka school. Now I know why it had to be a girl, not a boy. So, of course, you asked around the school who the weakest, and the dumbest girl at the school was and of course everyone said me. Welcome to your tape Selena Gomez and your bodyguard, I might as well add.

When you asked me to go on tour with you I knew something was up, but as I said before I wanted to leave school. So I went home that day after school and asked my mom to go. After begging and begging to go she finally said "yes." I immediately went upstairs to pack my bags, because we would be leaving in 2 days. Those 2 days flew by fast, and I was happy about it.

I met you at the airport and you were so sweet and nice. But are you really that sweet and nice deep down? Was it all just an act to be the pop princess? I don't know. We got on the plane and you whispered something to your bodyguard and then he looked back at me and smirked. I was freaked out and still till this day I am still freaked out by him.

I got to my seat and looked out the window sighing before I fell asleep. After we landed we went to go grab something to eat inside the airport. Which I thought was a horrible idea, because of where you're so famous.

We got to your tour bus and the first week of the tour was so amazing. I was actually so glad you picked me to go on tour with you, even if it was just because I'm weak and dumb. I felt like I was finally being accepted, which felt amazing by the way. Then I felt embarrassed and humiliated after what had happened 2 weeks after the tour started. You had the week off, so we all went to a hotel in Florida. Everything was fine until 2 nights after we got to the hotel. It was right after I got out of the shower and got into my pj's. I heard a knock on my hotel room door. I just figured it was you at the door. Without looking out the peephole I opened it and there he was, your creepy ass bodyguard, that smirked at me oddly on the plane.

I stuttered while speaking to him. This was probably a bad idea because it showed him I was nervous and that's what he wanted. I sighed and moved out of the way so he could come through the door. Which was a mistake I should add? I finally asked him "What the hell do you want?" Sorry, but he gives me the creeps and I don't trust not one bit. He started coming closer to me until I was back up against the wall. Shit! He's going to hurt me. I turned my head so I don't stare him in the eyes. He took his dirty ass hand and put it on my chin so I was facing me and said: "Ok listen before anything happens everyone knows about this so if you go and try to tell Selena it won't work." One single tear rolled done my cheek. He's gonna take advantage of me, isn't he? I tried to get free, but his grip was too strong. He crashed his lips onto mine and threw me on the bed. Literally. "Don't move!" He said sternly. I couldn't move I was too scared, but I also just can't let him do this to me. He got on top and started kissing me, starting on my lips down to my neck. Before I knew their clothes were off. I needed to think of something and fast. This can't happen again. That's when I realized that my knee was in his crotch area. So I started to knee him there and hard! He rolled onto the other side of the bed and groaned in pain. I took this chance to get the fuck out of that room. Luckily I kept everything in my luggage, grabbed my phone on the nightstand and right before I left the room I hit him there with my fist. I don't know where I got the energy. I ran as fast as I could down to the lobby checked out and got a taxi back to the airport. And the rest isn't important.

••••

*Same night Jade ran away from the bodyguard*

A few minutes after my bodyguard went into Jade's room he came back into my room and was groaning in pain.

"What happened to you?" I asked.

"That little bitch wouldn't let me do my duty and she kicked me and punched me in the crotch twice. Now she's gone!"

"Ugh, are you shitting me right now?" I asked back.

"No." He said.

Ok so you see normally I wouldn't be up to someone raping someone else, but my career is in trouble and my manager threatened me. Yes, it sounds bad, I know, but I was desperate. I honestly feel so horrible now that I've thought this whole thing through.

*After the tour is over with*

I got back to the U.K. after my tour ended. I turned the tv on and the first thing I saw was the news. BORING! I was getting ready to change the channel when I heard a very familiar name, Jade Thirlwall. The news reporter said "Breaking news, Jade Thirlwall was found in her bathtub dead. She had sadly committed suicide. Please, kids if you see anyone or think about it please get help. We will have more information on this later." He said and then it went onto the weather. I immediately thought it was about what happened a few weeks ago. Can't be right? I don't know probably. Damn it! I cursed under my breath.

Everyone was tweeting me and DMing me about this whole thing. But then I saw a DM about some tapes and a link to it. Actually, I think I went to school with this kid. Kendall Jenner, oh yes I definitely did. I went to go click on the link but it wouldn't work. I wanted to know what was so bad, so I decided to message Kendall back. 'Hey, the link won't work." I typed to her.

She replied back an hour later saying "oh, well if you give me your address I'll come and give them to you." She said back. I have her my address and she came over and gave me a small brown box. What a depressing color.

I opened the box and I saw where on the tape it said 'introduction' and I also saw where my name was on one of them. I honestly didn't care about the other tapes so I decided I would play the introduction first and then the one with my name on it.

Hey, it's Jade, Jade Thirlwall.
That's right. It's me, live, and in stereo. Get a snack. Settle in. Because I'm about to tell you the story of my life. More specifically, why my life ended. And if you're listening to this tape you're one of the reasons why. I'm not saying which tape brings you into the story. If you received this lovely little box, your name will pop up. I promise.

Oh. Is all I could think of. I finished the introduction. That was depressing. I went to my tape next, even tho I knew what mine was about. I listened to it and one by one tears began to run down my face. The more I listened to it the more I cried. How could I do that? How could I let my stupid bodyguard do that? That was so immature of me to do. I feel horrible. I cried for the rest of the night and eventually cried my self to sleep.

A/N: so guys I have one more chapter and then this book is completed and I actually wrote that chapter before any of the other ones were done. Do you want me to publish it tonight or wait till next week? It doesn't matter to me, it's all up to you. Also, my friend came up with this idea. Go follow her on Instagram. She's almost to 1.6k followers go help her out. Her username: @/happythewingedbutler