Destiny Enslaved (editing)

part 40

When we returned to the tent with the dawn on our backs only five of the occupants of the tent were still awake- two shield maidens on watch who greeted us with bowed heads in respect.
The other three were not so accommodating. As Bjorn walked in their heads snapped to attention. Aziza, Magda and Floki wore dark eyes that said they had not known sleep last night. I couldn’t help but cast my gaze on the ground in shame when I realised what they knew or at least suspected.
Thankfully Jasmine was asleep and so naive she would probably not be judging me – i hoped. She looked so peaceful but still so fragile. I felt the pang of guilt for leaving her- them – to be with Bjorn... what was i doing? Really...

I went to walk over to Jasmine when Bjorn’s hand landed gently on my shoulder before he firmly began to guide me towards the sleeping area.  No one else had retired there- not even the ladies. Which meant that i would again be alone with Bjorn. He tried to pull me closer to him – maybe as some sort of display of - affection- possession? I couldn’t tell ... so many years of lies and blood...
How would i know....

I pulled away from Bjorn’s grasp and stared at him defiantly.

Bjorn POV
She stared at me almost feral as she started to move backwards toward her friends. She moved slowly like a she wolf protecting her pack- and i wasn’t one of them- it hurt.
I didn’t understand- we had been happy- blissful and now...
I glanced at Floki and Magda who had stayed perfectly still; their faces blank. Clearly trained in bluff. But i knew that they were loving this public rejection. I looked back to Asa; my eyes imploring her to trust me and come to me.
Her harsh gaze softened. She was considering it- and i knew a few seconds more and she would come to me.
But before i could even think how to proceed the little girl woke.
A hoarse voice came from her in their strange beautiful language.
‘Aziza?’’
Asa froze. She was suddenly pulled towards the girl as she started to stir.
Aziza looked at Asa poignantly as if to call her out.
‘’yes, jasmine?’’ she answered the young one now turning her full attention to her.
‘’are we safe, Aziza?’’
‘’for now little cub... for now.’’
‘’will Asariel be back soon?’’
I heard her name ‘Asaroul’ though it was said with more beauty than i felt my language could provide.
The woman , Aziza, looked at me before she answered.
‘’she is...’’
‘’i am here’’  Asa answered like a bird. She moved to go to the child so i reached out – to do what my soul begged to do. But before my hands could graze her skin she turned to me with a wild snarl – silent warning. Then she dropped beside jasmine; i was no longer in her world and my soul felt darker for it.
I tried my best to conceal my upset with anger as i walked into the sleeping area. Letting the taupe fall behind me i frowned and went to think more than sleep in one of the furs.

Asa POV
‘’don’t worry, jasmine, i am here’’ i said clutching her hand and looking briefly into Aziza’s eyes; i had made a choice and it would be remembered. By all.
Bjorn had marched into the sleeping compartment not at all veiling his anger for me. I had shamed him as his woman in front of his men. But i wasn’t his woman.
I could never be. I had to be my own woman who watched others live their lives whilst i rotted  in chains.
Why must one claim another? I could not put it into words for i know why but i still question it. Because i fear it. I had many lovers in the palace. Each wanted to claim me and crow about it and they ended up dead. That was how it went – love proclaimed and head disembodied in the same day.
Why was it that i had been pushed into a life were i was to be admired and feared. To be loved and hated. To be on a knifes edge at all times not knowing when my fate would turn.
He had walked away and i remained by my fellow hostages sides.
When jasmine had risen and eaten we went back to the pool for us all to bathe together with an armed guard. With things so undetermined between Bjorn and i looking into the forests depths i felt very vulnerable.
When we returned the tent was gone-most of their encampment in fact- so was Bjorn. I couldn’t really blame him-i felt like my ship had hit a rock and i was in turmoil on the inside.
All that remained were some cloaks, to be sat on and then worn, lain around a fire which Floki tended. It was a strange welcoming as Magda lead us to Floki before she took him aside to confer.
‘’where is Bjorn?’’ Magda asked  in a low almost annoyed tone.
‘’he has gone to tend to the ships...’’ Floki replied glancing at me as i helped Jasmine to dry her hair by the fire. He knew that i knew what they were all saying now- he was cautious of giving me details...
‘’honestly, we could have done with an escort to the ship from his men...’’ Magda rubbed her face in frustration.
‘’ you already have a himt hiki (house guard) do you really need Bjorn’s protection...?’’
The question hung between them as they stared into each others eyes searching for everything they could decipher in each other. They remained still until Magda looked to the ships.
‘’he must stand by her even if he cannot own her...’’ she said sagely almost to herself.  Then she seemed to come out of her deep thinking to turn her full attention to Floki again. ‘’Floki, master ship builder, where do you stand?’’ she asked in all seriousness.
Floki smirked for a moment before locking eyes with the woman who must have been half his age. ‘’i stand where the gods place me.’’ He answered sincerely and proudly. He was found...
‘’as do i, brother.’’ She said staring at him with a shared understanding before she continued ‘’ Bjorn has claimed her – he must show he protects her- for now...’’ she finished
Floki peered down the few  inches difference between them in thought. He seemed pleased with whatever he thought he had learned about Magda.
‘’for now.... we shall have to start as we mean to go on’’ Floki stated plainly seeming to answer Magda’s unvoiced question which she affirmed with a nod.
And so a bond had been forged over me- i wasn’t sure how to feel about it.
But once it was struck Magda turned to call her shield maidens to her whilst Tori appeared from the direction of the encampment just in time to be ordered to stand as sentry.
‘’where are we going Asariel?’’  jasmine asked me suddenly pulling me from my thoughts.
‘’ha, that girl doesn’t know anything!’’ samara suddenly remarked as the lead viper amongst the princesses. ‘’she was just that fat governor’s play thing- she has no power now.’’  Her sidekicks giggled
I felt my hackles rise but ignored them – this was going to be hard enough without infighting getting into the mix.
They continued their petty snipes at me as we marched to the ships- now ready to receive us. Aziza was like a coiled snake every time they piped up. Jasmine lowered her head too terrified to notice the verbal attacks as subtle as they were.
All eyes were on our small party as we travelled to the ships – all either menacing or fearful. 
We spent four days on a calm sea with little wind. The men became teste and the woman too for that matter. Hvitserk was not on Bjorn’s ship thank- well Odin...maybe. either way i was glad for space from him after my rejection of Bjorn. And now i had to sit through the arctic blast that was his cold shoulder.
I sat comfortable on furs with food accompanied by Aziza and Jasmine. With Tori to one side and Magda at the other – some of her shield maidens opposite.
Every time an almost sycophantic or fearful Viking brought us our meals Aziza’s eyes burned as she stared at me – she was suspicious and she had a right to be.
I didn’t really know what to expect from Bjorn’s homeland. I imagined it to be harsh to produce such warriors. But what would i be there?
Again the bird in a cage?
A lover of a great warrior?
A sacrifice?
I had no idea and that was when i hated my gift for sight – it told me nothing of use in the moment i needed it.
God’s send me a sign! I screamed in my head as i looked to the perfect blue skies... and nothing happened.
I sighed with exasperation. It didn’t go unnoticed.
Aziza looked at me with suspicion again; she did that a lot recently. Ever since my night with Bjorn Aziza seemed to be wary of my motives- and yet i chose them...
Bjorn had not spoken to me the whole time. He was clearly outraged by the fiasco that was our first night together. I tried to just stay out of the way as he commanded ship. He sat at the other end of the ship, he kept away, it hurt to have this distance between us. I tried to condemn the feelings in my heart but i could not. This felt different from lust and games in court. I felt like i needed him to breathe properly...
But i couldn’t rely on him or anyone for that matter- people always disappoint.
When we finally arrived at an inlet which lead into an estuary. The ships set anchor at the mouth but only some men disembarked, including; Bjorn, Rollo, Finehair, Halfdan and hvitserk. Also about fifty guards. The atmosphere seemed tense as i tried to stretch my hearing to the limit.
‘’you are home, king.’’ Bjorn said with little emotion – Rollo being king was a fact not a term of respect.
‘’i am – and i must say i am glad and a little sad to be here so soon.’’
‘’yes, well our father dying sort of put a damper on the raid.’’ Bjorn rebuked his small slight and Rollo’s eyes showed hurt. He cast his gaze to the sand.
‘’but we will be back, uncle.’’ Hvitserk chimed in with a feral grin. He enjoyed killing far too much.
‘’yes, king. You are welcome to join us when we sail again after we take the land of the Saxons.’ Finehair chuckled clapping his hand on Rollo’s shoulder in comradery.
His brother Halfdan watched his brother warily as he grinned with Rollo- mistrust? Maybe...
‘’thank you , king Finehair. I would enjoy that.’’ Rollo said as he looked to the group- pain flashed in his eyes as he spoke to Bjorn. ‘’you may call upon me should you require more men for your great army.’’
A chill ran down my spine- the great army was like a Spector yet to form and i was stuck waiting beside it. Would it be my end?
‘’we shall sail to meet your ships and then we shall sail to Kattegat.’’ Bjorn said plainly with no sincere reaction to what Rollo had promised.
Rollo gave a breathy sigh before responding. ‘’ actually i have not yet sent word of my arrival – i was hoping for one more night.’’ He looked at Bjorn cautiously waiting to be told to go to hell.
‘’ very well, uncle’’ Bjorn began scathingly. ‘’ we shall feast and tomorrow your men may receive you.’’ Bjorn stated before starting to walk away.
He stopped by Finehair giving his own statement.
‘’we shall not attend the feast I’m afraid.’’ Finehair called to Bjorn’s back.
Bjorn turned his head slowly an almost mad naivety in his blue eyes. His body slowly followed and he openly confronted his opponent masked as humour.
‘’ why is that Finehair? What has you with your tail between your legs, hmm?’’ Bjorn said sounding too much like Floki...
‘’brother-‘’ Hvitserk tried to intervene which only seemed to rile Bjorn into dropping his facade. So Bjorn cut him off
‘’no! Brother. I have had  enough of whispers!- you, Finehair, will tell me here and now what is your problem?’’ Bjorn ended a lingering axe held pointing at Finehair accusingly.
The guards were getting twitchy.  Finehair put his hand up in a gesture that made his guards stand down. Bjorn waited for Finehair to speak.
‘’it is the witch’’ Finehair said plainly.
Bjorn’s face went blank. ‘’what did you say?’’ he gave Finehair the chance to back down.
He spat on it. ‘’ it is the witch!’’ he hollered so that all could here. And some murmurs of agreement spread from ship to ship.
All their eyes were now on me if not literally i knew that i was in their minds. It seemed obvious that most were not pleased by my presence- i felt i might catch fire just from their glares.
Magda was suddenly beside us and her guard, now fourteen strong, surrounded and boxed ;Aziza, jasmine, suddenly Samira, Leila, Hanna and myself, against the side of the ship. – luckily Floki was on another boat with Tanaruz so he would be able to protect her and Helga.
Bjorn was seething as he looked to his brother who was now beside Finehair.
But something seemed to overcome the beast as he regained himself looking larger than ever as he stated ‘’ that has been settled Finehair. She is mine – she is no concern of yours.’’
‘’but she is! She concerns all of us greatly! ‘’ he called again for his audience to hear gaining peppered aye’s of agreement. ‘’what are we to do if she has taken your mind like some already believe?’’
Bjorn was aware all waited on baited breathe for their leader to defend himself. As did i. What would Bjorn do?- defend me?- Denounce me?
He did neither.
‘’stay or come. I am tired of your games.’’ Bjorn said as he walked away his axe now barely clutched.
No one said a word. Not when Bjorn got on the boat and not when he sounded the horn for his ships to follow- leaving his brother and uncle to catch a ride.
No one said anything and yet all knew that Bjorn’s position as leader had just become more precarious. made so once again by me. i couldn’t blame the dirty looks that i was getting- i really hated me too.
I had rejected the man and he didn’t denounce me to save his position in anyway.
I just couldn’t understand why and yet i completely understood. Fear. I was afraid. Of everything out here. The people and the possibilities.
Locked away in my cage i was safe if nothing else. But now... i couldn’t use my power properly so i did not know its limits. I didn’t even know why my visions happened. All that knowledge was lost when they burned my village.
I was an infant with magic- volatile. I was still 17 so i had years to learn but that didn’t help me now. I wish i could know my future and know who i could trust....
But until that time came i would have to live and learn.
Magda decided to set up the tent further up river for safety.
She and the other shield maidens switched from being tent builders and guards. Whilst they did so Aziza, Jasmine and i went further upstream to bathe. Through mime that was to become the joke of all she told Aziza and Jasmine to not go around the bend and to stay in sight away from the forests edge. I, of course, knew exactly what she was saying.
We turned and walked away. Before Jasmine discreetly asked ‘’ what was all that about?’’
‘’something about tall pirates i think...’’ Aziza said thoughtfully not seeing it as funny.
‘’she said stay in sight, essentially.’’ I added hoping to end the strange whispers that seemed suspicious. Unfortunately it seemed to only add fuel to the fire as the hammered me with questions about her dance in the middle which was her impression of drowning.
When we  reached the bend we stopped and instead of bathing straight away an awkward silence hung over us as we watched the Vikings build their tents next to the estuary. I looked around to see if Ragnar would appear but he did not. So i was not occupied with anything other than the dread of one or both of them rejecting me- then i would be all alone.
‘’you spent the night with him?’’ Aziza left out the real question but i could read between the lines.
‘’yes.’’ I said staring into her obsidian eyes. I wanted to be honest with her not matter where it lead. I owed her that and she would know either way.
‘’do you know why?’’ she asked simply and steadily; unreadable in her face.
I swallowed with apprehension but was resolved to be honest.
‘’I...I know why.’’ I answered in that moment  truly knowing that that night was an act of love.
‘’fishing for your own dinner or...’’ she paused staring into my souls void. ‘’divine intervention...’’
I smiled at her kind phrasing and i answered hearing tears in my voice. ‘’it was divine.’’ But i pulled myself together when Jasmine finally intervened..
‘’what are you talking about?’’ she asked completely innocent. She had no idea what i had done.
‘’just about an old story-‘’  she said smiling at Jasmine ‘’don’t worry- all was forgiven in the end she chose when it mattered...’’
Aziza then looked at me and nodded in recognition.
‘’what story? Can you tell me?’’  jasmine asked here face lit up.
‘’one day, perhaps.’’  Aziza smiled with teasing eyes.
‘’no! You have to tell me now~’’ she  wined taking the bait which lead them into a pretend fighting where Aziza lost.
They continued to enjoy the sun and sit whilst i just breathed through the relief that had taken my breath away.