Fan Account • Jikook ✔️

31

Jungkook's POV

By the time I was on my way to practice I had already made up my mind about what to do with Jimin's situation.

I figured I'd take the advice from the fan account "Jooniemon" and just stop asking Jimin why he got so upset. We have gotten closer recently so maybe if I continue to spend more time with him he'll trust me enough to tell me.

I've just gotta show him he can tell me what's going on without making him feel like I'm pressuring him...

"Jungkook-ah, we've been waiting for you." Hoseok called to me as soon as I entered the practice room, "I'm only like 2 minutes late you can't have been waiting long Hyung." I grumbled, annoyed I was already getting scolded.

"Well everyone else was here at least 5 minutes early." Namjoon countered and I sighed, mumbling an apology, not in the mood to start an argument.

I threw my bag on the floor in a huff and just stayed quiet while the choreographer went through what we'd be practicing.

A few moments later Taehyung came over and wrapped an arm over my shoulder, "what's wrong Kook?" He asked and I shrugged, "don't worry about it, I'm fine."

"You didn't look fine even as you came into the room, before you got told off." He poked me in the side with a grin and I groaned swatting his hand away, "Hyung I'm fine I said don't worry about it." I frowned and he sighed, "Okay, just remember you can always talk to me Kook."

Suddenly it dawned on me I was doing to Tae what Jimin had done to me... but I didn't want to tell Tae just because it doesn't matter to him, it's business between me and Jimin that I had stupidly gotten upset over and I don't want to bother Taehyung with my problems...

But why would Jimin not want to tell me? He did say he couldn't, maybe he does actually want to talk to me about it... but then he also said he couldn't say anything because I couldn't figure it out.

'We were given our rooms for a reason' I mean sure the company chose our rooms but we always pick rooms for hotels and they're fine with that so surely our managers haven't said Jimin can't stay in my room... right?

"Jungkook please focus! First you're late and now you're day dreaming." Namjoon complained again and I apologised, "I didn't sleep well last night I'm sorry Hyung, I'll pay attention. Sorry."

I caught eyes with Jimin and he was frowning sympathetically, I immediately looked away, not liking the pity in his eyes. We got on with practice and even though I wasn't necessarily in the mood to be putting in 100% I didn't make many mistakes and we were done on time.

Just as I was leaving Namjoon came over to me, "sorry for snapping at you earlier, I just didn't want everyone else to have to stay later cause you weren't paying attention... but I'm sorry you haven't been sleeping well, do you have any idea why?" He asked and I hesitated.

Namjoon cares about everyone, it's kind of his job as our Leader to help when we have issues, but I still wasn't sure whether I wanted to tell him the whole truth...

"It's okay Hyung, I'm sorry I was a little late this morning and I wasn't focused to begin with, I'm sure I'll be fine and I'll sleep better tonight." I tried to reassure him with a smile but he could see right through me.

"Jungkook, if you're having trouble sleeping because of something specific please let me know and I can speak to the managers to see if we can figure something out." He pushed and I sighed, "I know you're just being caring Hyung, but I don't think there's anything you can do about it. I just sleep better with other people rather than by myself." I explained and he frowned.

"Ah I see, well if one of the other members doesn't mind moving into a solo room we could ask the managers for a room swap?" He asked and I sighed, "I don't want to force anyone else to be by them-self Hyung. Besides it's more a specific person that helps me sleep I think, but don't worry about it." I tried once more to drop the subject but Namjoon just sighed.

We had reached his room so he stopped by the door and put a hand on my shoulder to stop me, "Jungkook I know you and Jimin are very close, but just remember that a lot of things could go wrong if people took your friendship the wrong way. Jimin and Hoseok share a room, he can't stay with you all the time Jungkook."

I bit my lip and looked away from him, how did he know I was talking about Jimin...? "Hyung I know that but why? He said the same to me last night? Have the managers actually told him to stop staying in my room? It's not like the media will find out I sleep better when I'm sharing a room with Jimin."

"I told him to stop staying in your room. Not the managers. And before you get angry with me it's for your own good." I frowned at him with tears in my eyes, hurt that he would try to keep me and one of the other members separated...

He looked around before quieting his voice and continuing, "look Jungkook, I can see how you feel about Jimin, I'm not stupid and you're not very discreet. I don't want anything to ruin us as a group, I know you can't help your feelings but you have to think about what will happen if something goes wrong between you two."

"I have thought about it Hyung and that's why over the years I've loved him I haven't said anything. I'm also not stupid and don't want to ruin what we all have because of my own selfish feelings. This is why I told you not to worry Hyung, although I do think it's unfair that you decided to make the decision of telling Jimin he can't stay in my room. I don't think that was your decision to make Hyung." I was getting angry now. But didn't want to cause a loud scene in the hallway so I still remembered to keep my voice down.

"I'm sorry Jungkook. But I know it's for the best. I know it's hard but please continue hiding your feelings, even if he feels the same way, two members of the same group dating can never end well. Especially with how some of our fans are, and Korea in general, you know how unaccepting people can be of the LGBT+ community." He explained, finally seeming sympathetic.

I felt the tears about to fall down my cheeks but bit my lip and blinked hard, looking down at the floor. I took a deep breath and nodded slightly, "mhm... I know Hyung. I... I'm sorry, I should go now but I promise I'll keep hiding it, and I'll try to sleep without him so I'm not tired for practice or performances. I'll really try Hyung..." while speaking one tear slipped and fell to the floor.

Namjoon sighed and pulled me into a hug, he pat my back gently before pulling away, "thank you Jungkook, I really appreciate you trying, and I'm sorry you have to do this, maybe one day it will be possible, but please don't get your hopes up." He spoke one final time before saying goodbye and heading into his room.

The second he disappeared I felt my whole face contort in pain and my heart ache, I trudged down the hall to my room, past Jimin and Hoseok's door and closed my door harshly behind me, my tears streamed down my cheeks and fell to the floor before I collapsed onto my back on the couch.

The pain in my chest actually felt like someone had ripped out my heart. I wasn't planning on telling Jimin anyway... but hearing from someone else that my love was hopeless and I can't do anything about it without potentially hurting everyone around me... it was mind numbing.

Now I need to distance myself even more, if Namjoon thinks it's for the best to keep away from him then I have to go with that, I can't let my selfish reasons harm BTS. So instead of trying to get close enough so Jimin could talk to me... I have to distance myself further.

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Ahhh sorry for the sad chapter :(

Sad couple of chapters really...

I've had quite a bad writers block recently... I haven't updated my book Fangs in a while and my other less popular books either, I usually find this one easier to update but I've suddenly kind of been all blocked off from any creative flow...

I'm sorry, I'll try my hardest to write more and update quicker but if I can't then please understand I'm just struggling for no particular reason at the moment 😩😬💜💜💜