Christian Woman (Peter Steele x Reader)

Unsuccessfully Coping With The Natural Beauty Of Infidelity

It had been a month since Peter left for tour and already I was feeling anxious. I missed him.

It was the week after Thanksgiving break, thankfully Kat and her family let me stay at their house for the week. I couldn't bare the thought of having to go back home for even a second. Although, I do get letters from my parents,they're always asking about school and if I'll join the church to become a nun afterwards.

I threw those letters away, I didn't want anything to do with them. Life on my own so far without them has been total bliss, and I intend to keep it that way.

I plop down on my bed after getting back from my last class of the day. It's the first day back and already they're piling mounts of homework and study sheets on us so we could prepare for finals. I sigh and clutch onto my stuffed bear, it still faintly smells like Peter. I smile to myself and patiently waited for Peter to call.

At least, I hoped he would call.

Before leaving, Peter had said that no matter what time it was where he was at, he'd always make sure to call me before I went to bed. But he hasn't called since Thanksgiving day. I began to grow worried over the weekend but told myself that maybe he forgot, or was too busy to call.

Whatever the reason, I didn't want to dwell too much on it. At least, I wasn't planning on overthinking it.

A rapid knock on my door pulled me from my thoughts and I got up to open it. It was Kat.

"There's something you need to see." Was all she said as she walked in my room and sat on my bed. She had a magazine in her hand, Nirvana was on the cover. I couldn't read much of it because she turned to a page that she seemed to have marked off already. She turned the magazine and I saw what it said.

'TON's Peter Steele has a little too much fun with the babes in Russia.'

I furrowed my eyebrows and saw the photo that was next to the article. It was Peter, he was partying with guys as well as several half naked women. My heart sank at the sight.

'Peter was found in a night club in Moscow on their day off from touring Europe. He was spotted drinking and partying with three exotic dancers and making out with one of them..."

I tore my eyes away from the magazine, already feeling the tears fall down.

"Y/n, I am so sorry. Josh called me and told me to check the magazines, he said he saw the paparazzi snapping photos of them Saturday night. He wanted to make sure that I showed you them before anyone else could." Kat said.

I looked at her, teary eyed. "H-he cheated on me?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

Kat didn't say anything. She just pulled me in for a hug. I sobbed into her chest for a while before I told her that I was okay to be left alone.

All night I sobbed into my pillow, feeling angry with myself.

'Of course he cheated on you, did you see how amazing those women looked?' I asked myself.

'Why did you think that it would all really work out, that he would stay loyal....faithful.'

The tears couldn't stop, they wouldn't. It felt like there was a great weight resting on my chest, making it incredibly difficult to breathe.

I stared up at the ceiling, hoping that this was a terrible nightmare, that I would wake up and see Peter sleeping peacefully next to me. But instead I just slipped into a deep slumber.

--

For weeks I sulked, the pain never leaving as new footage and photos were released in magazines and on MTV of Peter's partying and hookups with European women. My heart felt empty.

Not even Kat could cheer me up, and she's tried her hardest to make me smile, but I just couldn't.

I couldn't even get through my final exams without my mind wandering off into space.

"Y/n, you can't keep sulking like this." Kat said. We were on our way to Josh's house for our winter break. Josh had left his house keys and his car for her to use when this first semester of school was done. That way we wouldn't have to go home for the holidays.

"Yes I can." I said quietly, looking out the window. New York City is lit up real pretty at night.

Kat sighs. "They're coming back after Christmas." Kat said after a few moments. "You're gonna have to face him at some point or another."

"And what if I dont want to?" I retort, looking at Kat who had her eyes focused on the road. "What if I don't want to talk to him or even look at him."

"Y/n-"

"No, Kat." I declared. "He hurt me, I don't have to do jack shit! I don't have to talk to him, I just want him out of my life."

"I know." Kat whispered. "I'm just so pissed, I wanted things for you both to work out. But I guess old habits die hard."

I sink back into my seat and close my eyes, already feeling the tears flood back.

"I just want to forget." I said. "I want to forget him, I want to forget the pain. It hurts so much, Kat." I said.

"I trusted him, I gave him everything. Every bit of me. But he just threw it all away and stabbed me in the heart."

"Everything will be okay." She said, pulling into the driveway of Josh's house.

--

I tried, for Kat's sake, to get my mind off of Peter. She ordered us pizza and took out a few bottles of red wine from the wine cellar. We sat there on the couch watching horror films and talking about which killer we'd want to fall victim to or how we'd find a better way to escape their grasp.

In the midst of it all, I was actually having fun. For the first time in weeks, I was having fun.

We were both halfway through our bottles of wine when we noticed that it was 1 a.m.

We said our goodnights and I headed off into the guest bedroom while Kat slept in Josh's bed. I lay there in bed thinking about what will happen when Peter comes back, if I'd even want to talk to him then. If he'd want to talk to me.

No matter how angry I am with him, I still have so many questions that need to be answered. But I guess I'll find out when he comes back.