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Chapter Thirty-Four: Annika

God, this is a new low. I'm so stupid. How could I not see this? "Hey."

I look up to see Si, of all the people on God's green earth... "What do you want, Si?" He sits next to me on the bench. Did that sound like an invitation?

"I realize I was equally attracted to men and women when I was 12." What?! He saw me with her. He's Bi! My gaydar really sucks. I'm 0 for two tonight. You would think birds of a feather and all... but no. "I saw you with that girl. I don't know if that was just college experimenting or if you like women. I just... I don't know what I'm saying." I couldn't tell you either. I'm not sure what to say.

He has been such good friends with my brother their whole lives. "Does Jamie know?" Does he like him?

"No one does. I was always afraid if my guy friends found out they would assume that means I like them." Probably a no to liking my brother then. "And I have been too scared to tell my parents."

"Si, why are you telling me this?"

"Because I can connect to you in a way that few others can."

All my feels of animosity towards him are replaced with a sense of kinship. I actually want to be friends with this version of him. Actually... I kind of want to go out with him. He has always been attractive. Now he is nice. And we have more in common then I would have ever imagined. Jamie would be pissed. But he can get over it.

~~~~~

There is a knock on my bedroom door. I open, and to my surprise, it's him.

"Silas. Di—" hands catch my face, lips cutting me off. Oh, my God! This is actually happening. Finally! I melt into him. His lips are so soft, so firm, so full. My hands creep up into his hair. He kicks the door shut behind us, closing out the rest of the world. It's just us in this moment. He spins me; I'm pinned between him and the door. He pulls back, his gaze piercing my soul. With a gasping breath, he finally speaks, "Hi."

~~~~~

"What do you do when you do it to yourself?" I shake my head. I've never touched myself before. "You mean... you've never?"

"No." I'm breathing heavily in anticipation of what's to come.

"We will just have to figure it out together. Let me know what feels good and what's not working for you, okay?"

He moves his hand around my building moisture. He has only just begun, and it already feels so nice. I pull my lower lip into my mouth.

Oh, God! That feels amazing. I can't support myself anymore; it's too much. I lay back onto the bed and let him go to work.

The faster he goes, the more my vision blurs. The pressure build, and I arch my back before falling back down. I have no control.

Slowly a finger entires me till it's all the way in. My legs and stomach clench. "Is that okay?" I nod, still biting my lip, and I start to taste iron.

Both of his hands work me. I remember something I read in cosmo... "Curl your finger in me... I read it somewhere."

He curls his finger into that spot as he moves it in and out. "Silas!" I can't help but scream. My body shaking and my hips buck.