Back to Square One

Chapter Forty: Annika

June 2018

"We have a pregnant teenager who likes your profile."

"We're getting a baby?" I ask. We filed adoption papers a month after I got my memories back. Our social worker Becca loved and raved about us. Who wouldn't? Who doesn't want to give their baby to an author of children's books and an executive at a hospital? I mean, come on. We rock.

We got added to the waitlist, and that's all we have done. Wait.

Until now.

"If you want." Becca goes on, "you had said you were okay with any gender and race as long as they were a newborn. The mother is black, age 15. The father is white and Cuban, age 17. The baby boy is due August 6th." Another boy.

"Yes. Yes, we want this baby boy." Silas says as soon as she finishes her sentence. My heart is pounding. We just had Ezra. Are we really ready for another baby? I look Silas's glowing face; I'll take that as a yes. We got this.

"I'll be able to breastfeed him!"

"The mother wants a closed adoption. She doesn't want to meet you or to have any contact with you or the baby."

"We would prefer that as well, so that's perfect."

"I'll give you the weekend—"

"We don't need it." I interrupt. "We want him." Silas takes my hand. I look down at Ezra in his car carrier. He pulls out the binky, giving me a gummy smile that I would cross oceans to see. Silas and I have a bet to see who's eyes he will have, but it's still too soon to tell what they will be as they are still newborn blue. I want him to have his eyes. Silas has the best green eyes. I dream in the different shades of green the fleck in his eyes. "You're going to be a big brother, baby boy."

Leaving the office, I skip and twirl towards the car. "Someone's happy."

"Dang straight! We are getting another baby."

"You're not worried it's too soon?"

"No, going back now, daddy!" I say as I click Ezra carrier into the car. I rub our noses. I love his little baby laugh. He has that yummy baby smell that I never get enough of. "I love you so so much little boy." He coos as I blow raspberries on his cubby olive cheeks. He is his father's son. I'm blonde, and Silas has dark hair. Ezra is in the middle with short light brown hair that comes in tufts on the top of his head.

I take his feet. Kissing and nibbling his little tiny baby toes. "We will never get home at this rate." Silas is just bugged that he's a mommas boy. He will get his chance. But Ezra is all mine.

"I'm obsessed with our son. I can't help it."

"Come on, mommy," he says, guiding me to the passenger seat. "I'm not driving Miss Daisy."

"What does this mean for us?"

"What do you mean? We will have two sons."

"No. Not that. Am I still not taking birth control?"

"I think you should stay off it."

"Yeah?" Is he crazy? What if I got pregnant tomorrow? Not that that would happen, but still.

"Yeah. We don't need to try like we did before, but let God take the wheel on this one. See what happens. If nothing, then we go back to bunny lovin' like when we were trying." He pulls my hand to his lips. "We have five other rooms upstairs beside ours. I'm thinking one guest room and fill the others with kids."

"That was always the plan, but do you think we should take a break after he is born?"

"No. The sooner they leave the house, the sooner I can fuck you in the kitchen again."

"Silas!" I rip my hand out of his. "No language around the kids. I don't want that to be his first word."

"It won't be." He takes back my hand. "Robert?"

"No. Ellis."

"Declan."

"Judah."

"Kal." I like that. Kal Rossi. "I see that smile. Did I win?"

"I will know for sure when we meet him." I have a text from Bianca.

Olive Garden?

Met at our place. We
will drop Ezra off at
moms on the way.

What time?

An two hours? At 6?

I need to feed him first.

See you then.

They bought the house Lucy and her husband had lived in down the street. It's nice having them so close.

I text my mom.

Can you watch Ezra
tonight?

"We are having a double date tonight?"

"I'm I getting lucky after this date?"

Yes!!!

"You might." We tried a month after Ezra was born but it hurt more than losing my virginity, so we stopped. Another month later, we tried, and it felt so good. Two months without sex sucked.

_______________

"You drive like a 90-year-old," Jamie complains in the back seat.

"Precious cargo!" I say, pointing to my son. "Once we drop him off at moms, I'll drive my age."

Once we get to the restaurant, Silas says, "we have some news for you guys." I love seeing him so happy.

Silas sits in front of me, Jamie next to him, Bianca next to me... like always. "Us too," Jamie says with a huge grin.

"Oh, no. Are the newlyweds going Splitsville?" Jamie punches Silas hard in the shoulder, "OW!"

"Don't go putting ideas in her head." Jamie is so whipped; it's not even funny. "We've been married a year, are we still newlyweds? Are y'all still newlyweds?"

"No. We've been together for almost a decade," I say, sliding my foot up Silas's leg. "But, we are still super hot for each other." He looks up at me over his menu and winks as he captures my foot, placing it on his lap.

"Question is," Silas says, "have you farted in front of each other yet?" They both shake their heads.

"Do you still shave your legs every day?" I add.

"Yeah, but-"

"Have you used the bathroom in front of each other?"

"Gross, no," Bianca says.

"Newlyweds." Silas and I say in unison.

"Can I get you started with something to drink?" Our waitress asks.

I don't want to pump and dump. My baby needs that milk. Soon I really won't be able to do that; I'll need all the milk my chest can muster. "I'll have a raspberry lemonade."

Silas shows two fingers. "Make that two."

"Three," Bianca adds.

"Four." Jamie and Bianca's both aren't drinking...

"Are you pregnant?"

"You will be an aunt in six months," Jamie says with the biggest smile ever. Silas gives him a side hug. "What was your news?"

"We are adopting a baby boy!"

"When?!" They say in unison.

"He is due August 6th."

"Two months?!" They both say. Bianca adds. "That's so soon; you two are crazy!"

"A 15-year-old doesn't want to be a mom yet, and I will be more than happy to raise that baby. I'm full of milk, so I may as well keep those juices going."

Silas chimes in, "we are ready. It will all work out." I lean across the table to give him a pick on the lips.

"Y'all just had to one-up us."