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Chapter Thirty-Nine: Silas

April 2018

"I FUCKING HATE YOU, YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH!" She squeezes my hand with a grip that grinds together the bones in my hand.

"I love you too, baby. You got this."

This is nothing like the movies. She is totally naked from the waist down. There is no blanket protection for her privacy. Her eye makeup is running. Her hair is matted to her sweaty skin. I wish I could take on some of her pain.

I hold up one of her legs with my elbow. "DON'T LOOK!" She yells out.

"Why?"

"I don't want you to see my vagina like that. I want you to NOT THINK OF IT LIKE... UGH!"

Once she falls back onto the bed, I say, "Nik, nothing will turn me off from you. Just focus on pushing."

Her face scrunches, here comes another one. "AHHHH!" Her breaths are heavy. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. I love you, Silas."

I kiss her sweat covered face. "I love you too."

"Push, Annika." The doc says. "I can see the head."

"Do you see hair?"

"Sorry, no hair."

I stay up by her head, holding up her leg. Like this, I see the birth from her perspective. I glance at her face as she pushes. The veins in her forehead and neck are bulging out.

I look down as the baby comes. Cries fill the room. "Congratulations, Rossi's, you have a son." We had decided not to find out the gender, but it turns out she was right. It's a boy.

"A boy!" Our purple, slimy, bloody baby is placed on her stomach. I've never been so happy to hear crying in my life. "We have waited oh so long for you baby boy." She cries out as we look at our perfect little son. Nurses blot him dry as we count ten fingers and ten toes. They suck fluid out of his little button nose. His cries still fill the room.

And to think just a little over eight hours ago, we were at the grocery store. Her water broke in the chip aisle. Fluid everywhere. Whoever had to clean that up deserves a raise.

I pull her in for a kiss. "You did so good." Her labor was quicker then I expected. I've heard of horror stories of twenty plus hour labor. "I'm so proud of you."

"We have a baby! I'm so happy not to be pregnant anymore."

A nurse comes to take him away to get him all cleaned up. "Silas, would you like to cut the cord?"

"Yes!" I say with excitement.

I watch as two women clean and take vitals on our son. He whimpers but isn't crying anymore. The cord looks different then I thought it would. I thought it would look like intestines or skin. It's yellow and looks a little like fat. One puts a clamp about two inches away from his belly. When it stops pulsating, she says, "cut right here."

He is all clean and bundled up when I return to him to his mother. Annika's a mother. I'm a father. Finally!

"Do you have a name picked yet?"

"Ezra Rossi."

______________

"Where's my grandson!" Gayle exclaims as she comes through the room. Jonas follows quickly behind her.

"Mom, I'd like you to meet Ezra Rossi."

Gayle stops in her tracks, covering her mouth with her hands. "He is so beautiful, honey." I pass him over to her. My job is being the cameraman. I won't miss a thing. I will gladly be the cameraman of this family for the rest of my life. Capturing first steps, words, bath time, baseball games, and beach days. I can't wait.

Annika looks exhausted. Her eyes are heavy with sleep. She's earned a good night's rest; she worked so hard for this. "Are you sore?" That's was a stupid question, of course, she's sore.

She nods. "It hurt so much, Silas. All worth it, though." Tears stream down her cheeks. "Look at him. He's perfect." I wipe her cheeks of their tears. "I'm a mom..." she chokes on her words as she starts crying again. She pats the bed for me to join her on it.

She leans into me as Ezra is passed back to us. We hold him in our arms, staring down at his sleeping face. It has been a big day for him. "Smile!" Jonas says.

Another picture for our wall.