Change of Plans

Chapter 19

"He's been abandoned his whole life (Woah, woah, his whole life, his whole life, yeah)
If loving me is hard, I apologize (Yeah, yeah, yeah, woah)
If I push you away, promise you'll stay by my side (Push you away, yeah, if I push you away)
He's been broken, traumatized (He's been traumatized, traumatized)."
Rod Wave "Abandon"

Dave

"Today, I thought we would talk about Geneva." I looked at Dr. Blake with a puzzled look.

"Why?"

"Well, we've talked about everyone who has had an influence on your life including your mother, your uncle, and his wife. It appears to me that she's someone special in your life."

"Yeah, she was the one that convinced me to come here."

"Is there a particular reason why you trusted her judgment?"

"When she gives me advice, she usually ends up being right. When I was in prison, the warden did suggest that I should seek therapy after my release. I thought about it since I continued to have night terrors, but they ended up going away so I didn't bother with the idea after that."

"I'm glad you listened to her. During our first session, you were reluctant in opening up about yourself. This is now our fifth session, and I feel like I've gotten to know you as you're coming out of your shell."

"I still can't believe I'm being open like this with anyone, but you create a kind of environment that allows that."

"That's the idea. I would say you're making progress."

"I would agree."

"So, back to Geneva. Are you two currently together?"

"We are, but we're taking a break."

"And why is that?"

"We had a fight."

"Who started it?"

"I did."

"What was it about?"

"She met an old college friend when we were out together and I got jealous. When we got home, I accused her of flirting with him and suggested that they were former lovers. I said things I shouldn't have said. I disrespected her and even contributed to an asthma attack she had."

"But she's fine now?"

"I would physically. I'm not sure emotionally."

"Was she actually flirting with that person?"

"No. I was blowing things out of proportion."

"Now, were you jealous because you thought he could give you a run for your money?"

"Truthfully, yes."

"Explain that to me."

"There are so many things about me that make me look bad. I'm a former inmate, I have a job that a lot people shame me for, and I didn't even finish college. It seemed like he had everything going for him. I didn't want him to whisk her away from me."

"Have you thought about why she agreed to be with you in the first place?"

"She told me she loved me for being original. I was honest about my past and my intentions with her. I didn't try to be someone I wasn't."

"Why do you find that hard to believe?"

"I've never been in love like this before. In my last relationship, I was left in the dust when I needed her the most. Eva has shown me the world in a different light where I see it's worth living and making an effort to become something. Sometimes, I can't help but think she's doing it out of pity or it's something temporary for her until she finds better. If you knew her, you would see the caliber of men she works with and wonder what she's doing with me."