Secret baby [W2S]

16. Confessions

Lucy PoV

''I love you'' he told me again and then we both went silent. He then walks closer to me and again he moves his hand onto my arm and then up my side until his hand was placed on my face. I felt that connection with us again. it was like he just knew how I worked, and I guess that he does after we were together for so long. we were together for almost 2 years and it was very serious, so he can read me like a book.

''you can't say you don't love me too Lucy. we have something that could be really special, like before but i messed it all up for us. that is why we aren't together now''

''Harry, I do love you. i think i always will. and I wish it was as simple as just being together again but not only am i trying try to protect Belle. I need to protect me, when I found out all of your secrets it honestly shattered me. we went from talking about engagement and a future to being a part and me crying myself to sleep my entire pregnancy.'' I started to get upset and Harry could tell, even he started to get emotional

''really? i had no idea it was that bad'' he asks me with guilt in his voice.

''yes Harry, it was that bad but its not something I like to confess, but its what happened. I was so scared, and angry and any thing else you can think of.  I was put on to medication for depression and anxiety. i am in a good place and i am not prepared to risk going back there. I need to be well enough for Belle, and she keeps me going''

''are you still on the medication?''

''yes, less of it but yes. and I am better but not at my best state''

''I am so sorry and I do know that I was horrible to you, but I have changed and I do really want this for us. I want us to be a real family''

''you say that now but a few months down the line then you could be cheating on me again and everything will be messed up'' I told him before I grabbed his hand and pulled it away from my face.

we both sat down and for a while no sound was made. I feel bad for shooting him down like that but I honestly want to just put myself first for the first time in ages. Belle started to stir and within seconds Harry jumped up and was right by her side. this did help me see that he was more grown up and he really was invested in Belle. 

Maybe it would be different for us, because Belle has changed a lot for me in my life and him from what I can see so why couldn't it be different. we could be a happy family and live that 'happily ever after' like in the fairytales.