All The Small Things

51

Luca POV

Kayden sat a bowl in front of me and handed me a fork. He kissed my head and sat down next to me, setting a bowl down in front of himself. I picked at it a little bit before actually eating the noodles. I was actually eating most of it for once. I was almost done when Kayden asked me a quiestion.
"Hey.. where do your parents live?" He asked, catching me a little off guard.
"Um.." I started. "I'm pretty sure they live in Westport." He nodded a bit before I asked why.
"A couple days ago, we got called out somewhere and the people had the same last name as you." He explained, peaking my curiosity.
"Were they? In Westport that is." I asked, pulling my feet up on the chair.
"It wasn't a house call, but they were." He said, taking another bite. I nodded a little and pushed my bowl away.
"I also work 3rd shift tonight, so they have me scheduled for 8 pm to 6 am." He said, only getting another nod.
"You done?" Kayden asked, standing up. I nodded a little and scratched my thigh, maybe a little rough but it's fine. Right?
"Hey!" Kayden exclaimed, grabbing my hand. I looked up at him confused and then glanced down at my thigh. I had started giving myself a friction burn.

"Oh.." I mumbled, biting my cheek. He just let my hand go, effectively making me feel like shit. 0 to 100 real fucking quick.
"Sorry.." I half heartedly apologized. I don't mean that as in I don't care, I mean that as in I don't know what else to say or do.
"Babes.." He mumbled, sighing.
"I'm sorry! I really didn't mean to! I had zero thoughts in my head about that." I exclaimed, my heart begining to race. I'm not gonna cry. I am not got to cry.
"Well I don't know why you're even in therapy if its not working." He said, bluntly.

"I don't know why I'm trying if you're not going to even try and help yourself."
"I am!" I shouted, staring up at his eyes. He doesn't seem like his usual self.. I think he gave up on me.. That thought send a shiver through me and made tears well up in my eyes.
"It doesn't seem like it! You still self harm, you're still emotionally unstable, you're still not really eating. So why do I even try?" He asked, getting a bit louder than before. That just sent me over the edge. The tears spilled down my face and I looked away as I silently cried. I don't want him to think I'm crying in a manipulative way, like I'm trying to make him feel bad. I just can't help it.
"This is my exact point, I barely raise my tone and you sob." He said, sounding almost defeated. I didn't know how to answer him.
"Just.. get out. Please." He finally said, making me snap my head up.
"W-what..?" I asked in disbelief. He's really getting rid of me. After everything, I finally pushed him off the edge. He can't handle me.. No one can.

"At least for tonight. Get some stuff and find somewhere to go. I can't. I just cant." He continued. I examined his face for a second before looking away and standing up. I quickly walked into the bedroom and noticed Kayden stayed in the kitchen. Guess he really doesn't care.. I grabbed my phone and wallet off the nightstand, shoving them in Kaydens hoodie I was wearing. If he doesn't want me back, I at least wanna keep this. I grabbed my cigarettes and lighter before picking Jupiter up off the bed. I wiped my cheeks, the tears only being quickly replaced. I walked out into the kitchen and glanced over at Kayden, sitting at the table with his head in his hands. He didn't bother to look at me. I reluctantly grabbed the doorknob and opened the door before stepping onto the front patio.

I closed the front door behind me and racked my brain on what I could do. I could probably call Jacob or Markus, but Markus isn't even in this state anymore and Jacob doesn't live on his own. I would be down to my parents.. and I can't go back there. I think I'm on my own for now...