All The Small Things

84

[Jacob POV]

Even though I comforted him, he started crying again right before Spade got home. And I couldn't get him to stop this time. He's on the floor in our bedroom, sitting in front of the bed holding himself. I couldn't do anything else than sit next to him. I tried to pull him into my lap but he just wouldn't calm down. He had his eyes closed and head in his hands.

[Luca POV]
I was in the third-person perspective. I could see everything Kayden was doing to me, starting when he shoved Papa. I can't hear anything other than him. His moaning and degrading me. It was different. I hate it. I hate it so much. I can't stand it. I can smell his sweat and him. The house. The rain after Papa and I left. The outside. The sound of his head hitting the floor when Kayden pushed him. Me crying. My throat hurt from it. The heat from my body. I was overheating, almost like hot flashes. I want it to stop. It needs to stop. Please just make it stop.

[Jacob POV]

I eventually got a washcloth and ran it under cold water to put on him. His face was getting red and he was shivering. I set it on the back of his neck, making him flinch and slowly look up at me. I could see him try and get his surroundings like he didn't know where he was.
"Papa, it wouldn't stop!" He cried, looking at me. "I wanna forget it, I never wanna remember it again," The door opened and I assumed it was Spade, but I guess Luca didn't.
"Dady... Papa, I don't want him!" He sobbed, pressing himself against the bed.
"No no no, it's just Spade. He's not here. Kayden isn't here. Just me and Spade, yeah?" I tried to console him but the tears didn't stop.

Spade knocked on the bedroom door before walking in anyways.
"Spade...?" He asked through the tears.
"Hi, Lukie. What's wrong?" He quietly asked, sitting down on the floor next to me and across from Luca.
"I don't want Kayden!" He shouted. Not like he was mad but like he was scared.
"Hey, can you look at me? He's not here, it's just us," He quietly said. Luca continued to rock side to side slowly but looked at Spade. He reached over and wiped his face with his sleeve and Luca let him. Luca crawled into my lap so I gently started rocking him myself and he reached up to play with my necklace. It was a piece of amethyst I think is the name, but the front half was textured still while the back was smooth. He quietly cried for a little bit until he self-soothed enough to stop. But after he was tired and falling asleep in my arms, so I laid him on the bed and sat next to him. I let him keep ahold of my hand while he fell asleep and I talked to Spade.

"I'm sorry I don't even know what was wrong..." I apologized. I didn't mean it as Luca shouldn't have been crying, I was sorry I couldn't figure out how to calm him down when Spade could.
"Don't apologize. It's okay, he was just crying," He told me.
"I think it was what Kayden did... For a part of it, I think he was re-living it in a way," I tried to explain.
"Like a flashback?" He asked. I shrugged and sighed.
"It could've been," I honestly answered. I don't want to say it's for sure cause I don't know.
"If he wakes up sometime tonight, he has dinner on the table. But if he doesn't you can eat it tomorrow or something," He reminded me. Fuck he needed to eat still... Maybe I can get him to eat it tomorrow.

Spade eventually went to bed so I laid down next to Luca and got under the covers. I couldn't sleep for a while though. I mean, my boyfriend is having horrible memories (or flashbacks if Spade's right) about my ex-best friend and his ex-boyfriend raping him. How am I supposed to sleep soundly when he could have a nightmare while I'm out? I cuddled up close to him and tried to fall asleep, and I was eventually successful after many minutes of trying.

I woke up to my alarm for work and groaned but sat up. I shut it off and didn't notice Luca was awake until he hugged me.
"Morning, Baby," I softly greeted him. He hummed and buried his face in my side.
"Can I get ready for work?" I asked, pushing his hair out of his face. He shook his head and held me closer.
"Bubba, I gotta get dressed though. If you let me get ready for work I'll give you extra love before I go," I compromised. He reluctantly let go of me and picked up Jupiter instead. I thanked him and changed into the uniform I recently got. They were on backorder for a couple of days so I only got mine Monday. After a little bit, Luca got up from the bed and went into the other room. I finished tying my shoes and went to go find him since I was done getting ready now.

"Can I have Tylenol?" He quietly asked Spade. Spade was in the kitchen looking for something in the cabinets.
"You have a headache?" Spade asked, shutting the cabinet and getting the medicine from above the stove.
"Yeah... I don't normally drink," Luca explained.
"You want your food from last night?" He asked after handing Luca the pills. He dry-swallowed them like a psycho before saying he did. I stood at the dinner table since I felt like 3 people would be too much for the small kitchen.

Spade went ahead and heated Luca's pasta from last night while Luca rested against me. He might have been starting to fall asleep on me but his phone rang, waking him up if he was sleeping. He groaned and glanced at the caller ID before picking it up. I tried to look at who it was but it wasn't a contact, just an unknown number. He put it up to his ear and sat at the table while listening instead of laying on me.
"Yeah this is him," He answered a question I didn't hear. He listened for a minute then looked up at me shocked.
"Um... Okay, I'll be there in a little bit," I heard him say before hanging up.

"Who was it?" I asked as he set down his phone. He struggled to answer as his body started shaking.
"The hospital. They said Kayden was there and I'm his emergency contact," Luca explained.
"They want me to come up there since he's not able to make choices for himself they said. I-I don't-" He didn't finish his sentence.
"What for? What's he in there for?" I asked as he stood up.
"They didn't say," He told me, running into the bedroom and coming out with socks and his wallet. Luca slipped the socks on and grabbed his shoes.
"I can't take you up there, I've got work in half an hour and it's the opposite way I need to go," I tried to tell him. He quickly pulled his sneakers on, not bothering to tie the laces, and grabbed his phone from the table.
"I can't just leave him alone up there! If there's no one advocating for him in the hospital, there's no guarantee he'll be taken care of right. What if he's allergic to something and they don't take it seriously because they say he can't make his own choices?" He started to spiral, panic creeping into his voice.

[Luca POV]
"I'll drive you, that way Jacob can still go to work," Spade volunteered from the kitchen. He was looking through cabinets again like how he was before I asked for medicine.
"Fuck, thank you!" I quickly shouted, lacing my shoes up. I don't want to trip and bust my face so I probably should tie my shoes.
"Luca, please be careful around him. Okay? If he's not thinking how he should, there's not much we can predict about what he'll do," Jacob warned me. I nodded and watched Spade put his shoes on. I pecked Jacob's lips as Spade opened the door.
"I love you, I'll see you after work," I quickly told him, following Spade to his car. I ran to the passenger seat and got in, buckling myself. I anxiously tapped my foot as Spade got in, turned the car on, and got onto the main way. Fuck, I can't imagine what Kayden did. It might've been from work, he might've done it himself, or he could've started shit with someone and got jumped. I just don't know and that's worse than if they would've just told me over the phone. Maybe it's a privacy thing that they can't say over the phone. I don't even care I just want to make sure he's okay.