𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐑𝐄𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ( 𝐌𝐱𝐌 ) [ DARK ROMANCE ]

Chapter 12 | PHASE ONE: Crippling fear

DYLAN ||

One week later

Miserable. . . It's the only word that I could describe the way that I'm fucking feeling right now.

Fucking miserable.

It's been an entire week since I found out that Raiden was my mate and since I've put him in those fucking cells — to say that I've been going crazy is a serious understatement.

I love that I found my mate, I love that my mate seems caring and unconsciously loving, but for some reason, I just couldn't get past the fact that Raiden is a man.

I can't for the life of me, figure out why I care so fucking much. There's something so fucking agonizingly deep inside of me that hates the fact that he's a man and that hates the fact that I want him this way.

Because Goddess — I do want him but even that thought scares the hell out of me.

Sitting in my office trying to drown out my sorrows, I was trying my hardest not to go down to the cells to see him.

Everytime that I stepped foot in those things, I wanted to throw up — The anxiety ridden response that my body had just being near those fucking things and the fact that the same words replayed over and over in head everytime I even attempted to rescue my mate this past week, would send me running back to my packhouse, drenched in sweat.

Crippled by my own fear.

Taking a deep breath to rid myself of those damning memories that I could never place, I focus back on the paperwork in my hand, the reason for my misery.

The reason why I couldn't save my mate from those cells and figure out another way to get it through to him that he caused harm to my pack.

This paperwork from the Council ensured that Raiden would have to serve time for his crime and I was beyond pissed that my Dad reached out to the them about this shit.

They ended up telling him that the appropriate amount of time to keep Raiden and his friend locked up for a crime like the one my mate has committed would be two weeks so thank the Goddess that we're almost there but it's still not fast enough for me.

The Council also gave me a direct order to put gates up around my border within the next two weeks. They said the things that Raiden did — didn't warrant death, so they gave me the option to either set Raiden free in an area furthest away from all pack territories in the state or to bring him to the Council after his two weeks is up and they would determine an appropriate solution.

Neither of which I was comfortable with doing.

I'm not taking my mate to the Council so they could decide whatever they want to do with him and I'm definitely not setting him free somewhere else because I want him to be near me.

The way the bond is pulling me to him and he's less than a mile away from me on my lands is nauseating. So I can only imagine how hard it would be if he was even further.

The bond was causing so much damage to my psyche, it was becoming hard to focus on anything else. The pain in my chest was aching and I knew that only Raiden could stop it.

My body wanted him, my heart wanted him, my soul wanted him, but my mind — my mind was another story.

There's just something deep inside of me screaming to reject him and I don't know why and I feel like I have to listen to it and if I don't, something bad would happen.

I didn't want to reject him but I really feel like I have to. That fucking nagging voice in the back of my head constantly screaming at me, was so loud that it drowned out everything else as my own thoughts plummet so far down, sometimes I couldn't even remember my own name.