All The Small Things

161

[Luca POV]

I had to, though. I knew I did. And at 1:40, we walked back inside the courthouse so we'd be in the room on time. Lauren told me where to go, and I laid my head on the wooden stand until the judge came back out.

"So, what happened before he assaulted you?" The defense attorney asked almost right away.
"I mean, we went to my appointment, and when we got back, I was really tired. So I fell asleep and woke up to Kayden and Jacob arguing..." I answered, already freaking out. Leo was in my lap, under the stand where people couldn't see him. He's shy.
"About what?" The attorney asked.
"About why Jacob relapsed. And why Kayden stopped taking his medicine," I honestly said, feeling a certain male glare at me from a couple yards away. I knew the big question was coming up, and there was no way to avoid it.
"Go ahead and explain what you say happened during the incident," He ordered. I glanced at his eyes for a second before staring at his tie. I almost started crying. I could feel my mouth getting dry, and my eyes started to water.
"Um... I woke up to them arguing. And when I tried to stand up, I got really dizzy. And, my vision blacked out for a second, so I had to wait it out. Then, when it came back, they were still yelling. And, um... Jacob told him that he didn't want anymore. And Kaydrn wanted to keep going. So when Jacob tried to walk away, Kayden shoved him. A-and I saw his head hit the floor. And he, I think, passed out," I managed to get out without uncontrollably sobbing. I gripped my stuffies hand so I could try and get through it.

"But Kayden, he grabbed me by my hair and... Um, and he took off my sweatpants. So I tried to kick him to get him to stop. And he just hit me. So I stopped, and I just tried to make myself zone out, but I only kinda could," I finished, hoping to everything in the world that he wouldn't make me go into more depth about exactly what Kayden did. He didn't. Everything he asked was a lot less scary to talk about, but it still wasn't easy.
"Alright, hun. Do you need to step outside? Or do you want to stay around for the rest of the case?" Lauren quietly asked, leaning against the stand.
"I-I wanna go..." I quietly said, getting a little nod.
"That's okay. I'll take care of it for you. Jacob can leave, too. Alright?" She reassured me, instantly making me stand up. I went to go grab Jacob's hand and didn't fail to notice Kayden attentively watching me. Jacob got the hint and followed me outside and all the way back to the car.

"Papa, go home?" I quietly whispered as he unlocked the truck.
"Baby, I've got work. I'm sorry. I gotta drop you off at Caters's," He said, making me feel absolutely awful.
"Baby, when we get home, the only thing I'll do is cuddle you. I'll kiss you and hold you and do anything you want. I promise, bubba," He guaranteed, but I still felt really, really sad. I clutched Leo to my chest and tried to keep myself from crying.
"Shh, I know," He mumbled, picking me up and sitting me in the passenger's seat, "I know it's really sad. Can you use your words for me?" He asked, wiping the tears from my cheeks.
"I-I just want Dady!" I cried, trying to breathe like Dady tells me to.
"I hear you. You're doing so good calming down on your own! You're doing perfect, Bubba," He reassured me, which did help a lot. He kissed my face and told me he was sorry. I just wiped my face and tried to ignore everything negative that I was thinking.

It didn't really work. We pulled into Carter's driveway, and I almost started crying again. I felt so anxious that I thought I'd puke. I didn't know if Dady really still loved me. I felt so ashamed that I didn't do more to stop Kayden. I felt guilty that he had to sit in the courtroom and listen to it all again. I know he was telling me really sweet stuff, but maybe he was just saying that, so I'd quit crying...

I waited at Carter's front door next to Dady. We were both silent. I had been on the verge of tears, and what made them finally fall was all my thinking. I had convinced myself Daddy hated me and wasn't ever gonna come back. And since I wasn't saying any of this out loud, when I started crying again, he was confused, to say the least.
"Baby, what's wrong?" He asked, pushed my hair out of my face.
" 'M scared you hate me..." I finally admitted, barley whispering.
"Oh, baby. I could never hate you," He softly said, cupping my cheeks. "We can talk more about it all when you're big. Alright?" I whimpered and nodded, letting Dady wipe my face before knocking at the front door again. It was answered pretty fast this time by Carter, who had a girl hanging onto his arm. Not Sage, but a girl I didn't know.
"Hey," Dady said, stepping closer to Carter. He held his hands over my ears before starting to talk. But I could still hear what he was saying.
"We had his whole court thing just happen. And I've told you about what happened with Kayden, right?" He asked, only continuing when he got a nod. "Well, Luca was like a main witness or something. So he had to retell everything that happened in front of like 30 people," He explained before uncovering my ears.

"So, he's probably gonna be crying. I'm sorry. Like, just call me if it gets too bad," Dady apologized, getting a sympathetic look from Carter.
"Don't worry about it. I know shit's hard to deal with right now," He assured Dady before telling him to have a good shift at work. I got one last kiss before he left, and I followed Carter. I slid off my boots, putting them in their place, before sitting with Sage. She was coloring.
"Hiiiii!" She exclaimed, smiling. I flashed her a small smile but couldn't do much more.
"What's wrong?" She asked, sitting up. I just shook my head before I could start remembering every aspect of what Kaydrn did to me.

"Sage! Do you and Luca want this?" Carter asked, holding up two suckers.
"Yeah!" She instantly shouted, quickly standing up and going to grab them. He handed them both and left it up to her to decide who got what. The girl I didn't know still wasn't with us. She was clinging onto Carter. And I didn't care. I know there are times when I'd want to talk to her, but I didn't now.
"Which taste?" She asked, holding up one that was blue raspberry and one that was cherry. I just shrugged a little because I didn't even really want one.
"You can have blue," Sage decided for me. I don't know how long I've been here. For the past half hour, I've been wanting Dady. To hold. To kiss. Just to have. When there was a knock at the door, I got my hopes up that it was Daddy. I tried to tell myself that it might not be and to not get too excited. But I couldn't help it. I really wanted Daddy. So when Carter opened the door and it wasn't Jacob, I was really disappointed. Sage quickly hugged me before hopping up and running to get her shoes on. I guess that's her Mommy she sometimes talks about.

"Bye Luca!" She yelled, waving for a second before stepping outside. I sniffled and wiped my nose, feeling tears start to stream down my face. When Carter walked back into the living room, he took note of me right away.
"What's wrong?" He asked, crouching in front of me with the girl next to him.
"I wan Dady..." I whispered, my voice breaking at the end.
"Ava, baby, go play for a while," He said, turning to look at the girl. She frowned, looking at me before reluctantly going to find something to do. Carter tried to comfort me until Jacob got there about an hour later. And, news flash, he didn't have great news when I got in the car.
"Luca, baby, Doug invited me to go hang out with him. And I don't think I should leave him hanging..." He said, making me think to myself that he really does hate me. You know how my normal response to this is to cry? I guess everything going on today had me so out of character because instead, I got pissed.

"Why can't you say no?" I asked, entirley out of my headspace and trying to rationalize why he couldn't just decline the invite.
"Because I haven't seen him in so long, so if I say no, it seems like I'm ignoring him," He explained.
"You said we'd just stay home," I pointed out, starting to get really upset that the plans were changing.
"I know-" He said again. That phrase tipped me over the edge instantly. It was almost only because he'd said it 6 times, and it really didn't feel like he was listening.
"No, you don't! You aren't listening!" I shouted, tears beginning to run down my face. Great. Now I'm pissed and crying.
"I wanna go home and calm down, and it's hard to do that without you. And I can't do it at anyone else's place," I said, hoping he wasn't too mad about the yelling.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. But it's really hard to have our plans change like 3 times in a day. I don't like it!" I apologized, hoping I made sense.

Jacob took a breath before talking again.
"Okay... Do you mind if I explain to Doug why I need to be home with you right now? So it doesn't come off like I'm just ignoring him," He asked, making me nod.
"I'm sorry... I really wasn't trying to yell," I desperately apologized.
"Baby, I get it. Luca, I told you that sometimes you have to be loud. Remember? I'm not upset with you. You don't normally yell at me. And I was kinda being a dick head," Jacob reassured me, rubbing my shoulder and kissing my cheek before quickly texting Doug. I was already starting to feel a lot better, considering I got a chance to talk about what was happening.