The People Choice Awards 2019 Winner for Best Diverse Books
Never had Autumn thought that she would break up with her boyfriend, Tyler, until the day she met Frazier Ronan, the one person who turned her life upside down, created chaos, and made her...
They say "all good boys go to heaven" But bad boys bring heaven to you It's automatic It's just what they do - Julia Michaels, Heaven
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T Y L E R
I stared ahead and took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. This was bad, so very bad. Besides knowing fully well that this was the last thing I wanted to do, I also knew that I wouldn't be able to do it. It was too much and I wasn't sure I would survive by the end of it. Yet, what other choice did I have left?
I closed my eyes for a brief second, internally telling myself that this was for the best. It would hurt both of us emotionally but physically she would be safe and that was all that mattered. When my eyes finally fluttered open, I turned the key and swung the door open.
"Ty? Is that you?" I heard her voice from somewhere in the living room.
I took off my shoes and stepped further into the apartment. "Yeah, it's me." I shrugged my coat off and hung it on the stand on my right. I turned around and as I saw her standing nearby the couch, I froze.
Autumn was wearing nothing else other than my blue T-shirt, the exact same shirt that she had worn the first time she spent the night in my bedroom back in D.C. That night, I'd tried my best to keep her well hidden throughout the night only to be caught red-handed by my mom the next morning.
As she moved to close the gap between us, my breath caught in my throat. I had no idea if she picked that shirt by accident or if she intended to wear it but that shirt brought up so many memories that nearly choked me because I knew, what I was about to do would tarnish those memories.
"Your mom called." She stopped right in front of me. Her hand touched the side of my face like she always did, caressed my temple with her thumb then her hand settled just below my ear with her palm cupping my cheek. The urge to bang my head on the nearest wall for dragging her into this mess was getting harder to shake, especially with her looking up at me with those big hazel eyes. "She misses you, you know. She said you haven't called her since you got here."
It would sound silly, but doing this dirty work for the organization has made me feel guilty and dirty and all other awful feelings. I was ashamed of myself. So much that I felt unworthy being my mom's son. I felt that I've disappointed her, crushed her dream. That was the real reason I couldn't bring myself to call her regardless of how much I missed her. For eighteen years, she had been all I had and I had been all she had, we had lived together for eighteen years, just the two of us. It was hard not to hear her voice.
"Are you okay?"
I looked down and saw Autumn watching me worriedly. "I'm fine."
Her hazel eyes skimmed over my face as if they were searching for something and when I thought they might've found it, she dropped her gaze to the floor and took a step back. "Ty, we need to talk."
