Snow Bound

44

John has never felt so empty and cold as he does now. Holding Whitney's pillow he wants to cry, but the tears won't come. The pain is so encompassing that he has to stop feeling to survive. The trials are later today. He doesn't know what he'll do if she doesn't come. She's refused all calls, even went so far as to block his number.

All his messages and texts were left unanswered.

He's been refused entrance into her building, by his own men. The only communication he had from her was a note one of them men gave him. The man had done his best to hide the pity they felt for him. All the men did their best to hide their pity, but he could see it in their eyes any way.

In the note, Whitney told him that if he in any way forced his attention on her then she would get a court order to keep him away and since that won't work she'd then shoot him.

That worked and she knew that it would. It was unlikely that Whitney would shoot to hurt, she was taught to shoot to kill her target.

He knows from personal experience just how good Whitney is at shooting and has no desire for her to use him as target practice.

That was the only thing he's had from her. The flowers he sent her he saw on the front desk of her building. When the men saw him looking at them they told him that Whitney read the note and told them to get rid of the flowers she didn't care where.

He sent her multiple arrangements during the week. He knows that they are likely being thrown away, but he wants her to know that he's doing what he can to make things right.

He feels like he's failing.

"John, you need to get up. If Whitney saw you like this she would turn around and walk out the door." Michael says coming into the room. John had the door locked but there are no locks on the secret passageway door.

"Please, you weren't doing much better than me earlier." John says more than a little disinteretedly.

Carmen has refused contact with Michael as well. She sent him a text saying that she will keep him informed of her health and her doctor visits. That he will, as the father, be allowed to go to the doctor's with her, but other than that they will no longer have any contact.

Michael hadn't realized just how much he'd come to love Carmen until that message. It was over between them, only because of the children will they have anything to do with the other.

He hasn't been able to stir up the energy to go out and find someone to have sex with. Since the girls left he hasn't had sex at all.

Neither of the males were interested at this time. John never was interested having it with nameless faceless females. Michael finds himself longing for just one female, not even Whitney makes him stir now.

"The try outs are in a couple of hours. It takes nearly an hour to get there. You need to get up and get ready to go. It will take some time just to clean that mess of fur off your face." Michael says goading John into action. 

John's beard grows fast and so he has a nice face full of hair that is long and unkempt since John stopped giving a shit and just let it grow. He hasn't eaten much in the last week either.

But the thought of seeing Whitney is more than enough to get him to bestir himself and get out of the bed for the first time that day.

John jumps in the shower and starts working on the beard. He's thankful for the never ending supply of hot water since, as Michael stated it took him some time to finally get rid of the hair covering his face.

He looks at himself in the mirror as he brushes his teeth and snarls silently at how long his hair had gotten. There isn't time for a trim.

"Hurry up, John, as it is, we'll have to eat as we go. There's been a traffic issue in the direction we'll be going. The detour will add on nearly twenty minutes. We don't have time to eat before we leave." Michael tells John. He's pacing in the bedroom that holds so many memories. Some of them good, almost all of those feature Whitney, most were bad, featuring their father.

"Do you think that the other girls will be there?" Michael asks John nervously as they leave the room. He doesn't care about Kiara so much, just Carmen.

"I don't know, but for your sake I hope so." John says absently. His thoughts are all on one person and if she'll let him talk to her. Talk to her and beg her to give him another chance. He'll do anything at this point for that one last chance.

Neither one dares try to stop her from driving today, even though she is pregnant. It's dangerous for any one to drive in one of the races, but should anything happen it won't be just her that is harmed.

John refuses to think bad thoughts about what could happen. He has to keep things positive or he'll do something stupid and lose Whitney forever and his child.

He could of course force her to give him custody of their child, but he would never do that to her. If he did that it's very likely that she would either kill him for taking their child or kill herself because there would be nothing more for her. She never considered money and things a reason to hold onto a life that was miserable.

John always understood where she was coming from on that one. But then he never had much before he killed his father. Things only got better once he killed that bastard. 

They only got better, even with the threats and actions against them, until he screwed everything up. Screwed up for both Michael and himself. Although, he wasn't alone in that department. He may have messed up by not telling Whitney, but Michael messed up by forcing him to do business with Angel in the first place and then to make no time for Carmen. By having him take Michael's place without telling Carmen was his downfall.

But then again John is the one that made Michael promise to not tell her.

They were equally to blame for them losing everything.

They pull up to where the try outs will be held. It is in fact a race track that is specially designed so that dangers will be popping up out of nowhere and this will make it so that they will be able to gauge just how able the drivers are able to avoid problems in a race setting. Seeing how well they can minimize damage and fatalities.

Only then does John get a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

He sees all three of the females and the five guards assigned to them.

Whitney sees him and makes sure that he knows that she did before turning from him and getting into the car that she'll be using for the test. 

All those using borrowed cars will be allowed a test drive of the car to familiarize themselves with it before the race.

John watches sick as Whitney makes her way onto the track to get used to it and the car.

He makes his way up to the owners box and joins Michael. Shortly after that the two other girls were escorted inside. Both of them making sure to keep their distance.

Michael is unable to take his eyes off Carmen and if he does it's only to take a quick peek at the other female carrying his child.

Before he can work his way over to them the cars are called into racing formation. 

Michael and John pick up the binoculars handed to them earlier and make their way to the window where the girls are also watching. They are all tense as the cars are given the signal and go.

Whitney does very well. She avoids the sudden appearance of people and vehicles quite handily.

It is just the last bit of the race before the finish when something goes drastically wrong. One of Whitney's tires blows and she loses control.

John runs out of there even before her car comes to a complete stop. Most of the other cars are able to avoid her car, but not all of them.

Before John can get to the car it bursts into flames.

"Whitney!" John screams out in pain and loss. He finds that his feet are unable to move.

As loud as his scream was, no one even heard him over the sound of the race and the flames.

All John could see are the people putting out the fire and working on getting into the car.