Soldiers and Serpents //Scorbus

Memes

Incorrect quotes (from other sources like Pinterest, I just used these characters for them)
—-

Raven: Is there a word that's between angry and sad?
Christine: Malcontent, disgruntled, miserable, desolated.
James: Smad.
Albus: There's two types of people.

—-

Scorpius: The real treasure was the memories we made along the way.
Christine: I almost died.
Scorpius: That was my fondest memory.

—

Ashton: Why is there blood everywhere?
Raven: I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife.
Ashton: YOU STABBED SOMEONE?
Raven: No, no. Aggressively poked them with a knife.

—-

Scorpius: I didn't drink that much last night.
Raven: You were flirting with Albus.
Scorpius: So what? He's my boyfriend.
Christine: You asked if he was single... and cried when he said he wasn't.

—-

Albus: Fight me!
Orion: Ha! Look at your size. What are you going to do? Kick me in the ankle?
(Later)
Scorpius: Why is Orion quivering on the floor and crying?
Raven: Albus kicked him really hard in the ankle.

—-

Aries: Why does everyone always assume the worst of me?
Scorpius: It saves time.

—-

James: Hey, do you think I could fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth?
Christine: You're a hazard to society.
Dinah: And a coward. Do twenty.

—-

Ashton: Can you recommend me any books that made you cry?
Raven: Advanced Potion Making.

—-

Christine: I have the sharpest memory! Name one time I forgot something.
James: You left me in Diagon Alley like two weeks ago.
Christine: I did that on purpose, try again.

—-

Christine: Knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit.
Raven: Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.
Orion: Philosophy is wondering whether that makes ketchup a smoothie.
Albus: Common sense is knowing that ketchup isn't a fucking smoothie.

—-

Harry Potter (rhetorically): How many children do you have?
Draco Malfoy: Biologically, legally, or emotionally? Because there is a difference.

—-

Albus: You read my journal?
Lily: At first I didn't know it was your journal... I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.

—-

Albus: I'm cold.
Scorpius: Here, take my jacket.
Ashton: I'm cold too.
Raven: *sets the world on fire*

—-

Scorpius: I need to get something off my chest.
Orion: Is it your shirt? Please say yes.