Do You Believe In Aliens? [Kylo Ren x Reader]

18- Confession

You sat across from Kylo at the table. You weren't in a booth at the very back, a curtain pulled around so you were secluded. It didn't matter, though, because the restaurant was empty aside from the staff. Orange lighting warmed you compared the bright white light of the sun outside. It was quite dark inside the booth, but you could still make out Kylo's facial expressions as he watched you eat. He picked at his own plate, but you didn't see him take a bite. 

"Are you not hungry?" You asked, 

"Not really, would you like mine?" He pushed his plate towards you, but you didn't say anything. 

"So where are we going after this?"

"We'll be visiting some more casinos. I trust you know how to play?"

"I mean, I can watch a roulette wheel. I don't know how to play card games though?"

"That will have to do, I was hoping you'd be able to win something."

"Why? Do you need the money?"

"No, but a big win would attract some attention." He looked away, "Nevermind, it can't be helped."

"I'm sorry I'm not more useful." You looked down at your food in embarrassment.

"Don't say that, you're incredibly useful, you're important to me, Y/N." Kylo shifted in his seat.

This was wrong, wasn't it? you shouldn't feel this way about your commander, the man who took you from your home. He's made you cry, made you hurt so much. But still- You don't remember when you first realised it, maybe when you saw his face for the first time. Or maybe it was when he was in your quarters that one time. Maybe it was before then, when you awoke from your visit to the med bay and realised he had carried you in his arms. 

Either way, you felt something you weren't sure if you should.

"Kylo, I have to tell you something-"

"Tell me it later, come on, we have work to do." 

~~~~~~~~

You sat on the chair in the casino and sighed. Kylo was nowhere is sight, and you were bored. More importantly, you were confused. Should you tell him? What would he do? He'd probably have you executed, you had also heard the word 'reconditioned' at one point- would he do that? Was what you were feeling against some sort of rule? You buried your face in your hands and tried to clear the thoughts from your mind. It wasn't right, you had to stop dwelling on the impossible. Kylo Ren would never feel that way about you, there's no point in hoping.

He had given you a pin, before he had left. The symbol of the first order in black metal. You were wearing it on your dress, like you were proud of who you worked for. He didn't say why, suppose the humans on Canto Bight would recognise it? Or maybe it was so people didn't try anything with you whilst you were alone? Either way, you never expected to have somebody tap you on the shoulder and point to it with such intensity,

"Where did you get that?" They asked, grabbing for it.

"Kylo Ren- I mean the commander, he gave it to me."

"Kylo Ren is here? Where?"

You didn't like the way they kept one hand on the weapon on their belt, "I don't know, he walked off." 

"I see." Their hands grabbed your wrists, "Then you'll be coming with me."

Before you could act, you were being dragged out of the casino where more people waited outside. You tried to scream for Kylo, but your nerves made your voice fall silent. You struggled against them, but to no avail.

"W-where are you taking me?" You asked, as you were dragged down some steps, "Why do you want me?"

"You work for the First Order, we're taking you in for questioning." One replied, still hauling you along without much care. Your dress got stepped on and torn in several places. You felt like crying. Finally you found the strength to cry out,

"KYLO! KYLO HELP ME!"

And it was like he knew, within moments he was running after you, you saw the red flame in his hand and instead of fearing him you felt joy. He had come to save you, you were going to be fine.

"Let her go."

"Ren." One of the people snapped at him. Several blasters were aimed at him, but he didn't flinch. 

"I said, let her go." He held his blade at the ready, the grip on you tightened.

"She's coming with us, Ren. Try and stop us."

Kylo didn't hesitate, he lunged towards you, slaying several as he did do without even bothering to look their way. His eyes were fixated on you, he had to get to you- to save you. You were pulled further away, as shots rang out in the open sky. You were crying now, thrashing against the people who held you. You struggled this way and that, trying to worm out of their grasp. You had to be strong for Kylo, you had to help him by freeing yourself. More fell, he was closer. You were pulled further along. You dug your feet into the ground, trying to stop them from moving you. Your feet dragged along the pavement, unable to find a solid foothold. You yelled and begged and cried, desperately trying to escape. In the near distance, you saw a fleet of ships, none of them Kylo's. You realised you had to get out of there soon, the second you were on one of this things, you would be flown away to a place where Kylo couldn't reach you.

"KYLO! HELP ME, PLEASE!" Your throat burned, your eyes were screwed closed. If they were open, you would see Kylo was getting further and further away. He was held up by the group he was fighting. He dropped his guard to outstretch a hand to you,

"Y/N, I'll find you! I promise I'll find you!"

"No, Kylo..." You gave up shouting, "I don't want to go."

He didn't say anything, he couldn't show his sadness and desperation in front of them. The Resistance. You had found them, but Kylo was too late.

You had reached the ships, and as you were being hauled up the ramp into one of them, you mustered up everything you had. Your courage, your strength, the last of your voice which was hoarse and croaky already, and then you did it,

"KYLO! I LOVE YOU!"

The door closed and the ship began to rise into the air.