Do You Believe In Aliens? [Kylo Ren x Reader]

27- Taste for adventure

You had become accustomed to life with the Resistance. It was boring and rather uneventful, as unlike on the Finalizer, you were rather restricted to where you could go. The base, while hectic, was quite small, and the planet outside was a confusing mess of jungle you didn't really fancy getting lost in. Many rooms were off limits, and for the most part you wandered the halls, quietly hoping for something to happen.

Until something did. 

General Organa was a kind woman. You knew that, even if you didn't want to believe it. In her eyes you saw the depths you saw in Kylo's sometimes. You could see he was once her child, and how it still is, deep down. So when she led you gently by the hand to her quarters, you hated what you had to do. 

"Tell me about my son." She said softly, 

You knew it would hurt, to lie to her. But you had to. 

"He's not who I thought he was. You were right, General. He's not Ben Solo anymore, not in the slightest."

Organa looked away, her small, shabby bed creaked as she shifted away from you. "I knew that, I always did. I just- I want him to come home."

You took her hand, the soft, wrinkled skin was comforting, motherly in a way. You had to swallow the stinging in your throat, the sure sign that tears were coming. "It's ok, General, I know it's not easy to let go, but you have to. Kylo Ren... He's not your son... He doesn't want to come home."

She nodded, and her hand turned over, so her fingers could wrap around your hand, holding it gently. You blinked harshly, clearing your vision. It felt so wrong, to lie to her like this. Her son was not dead, not completely. You saw it when you were alone, read it in the words he spoke, you could feel it in his gifts. Love, compassion, empathy. It was there and it was real.  He was scared, but in this strange place fear was to be used by the dark side, not the light. Fear was to be conquered, exploited and used by the monsters that lurked in the shadows. Kylo Ren- Ben Solo- is scared, but that doesn't make him evil.

You were looking at her so intensely, a fragile woman with so much to bear. She led the Resistance- alone? You didn't know, you'd never thought to ask. Everyone depended on her, revered her as a strong and powerful leader, the one to guide them and take them guns blazing into the future. But her past was bitter and sorrowful, one she must be desperate to leave behind. But to go into the future, she would have to confront her past. 

What a terrible life, you thought, what cruel torture. You squeezed her hand but she couldn't look at you. Sitting on her bed, you shuffled closer. 

"Kylo's father, what's he like?"

A small smile passed by her face, a ghost of a smile.

"He was arrogant, and stubborn, and reckless and everything I ought to have hated. And yet..."

"You loved him."

She laughed, and so did you.

"Ben adored him, mostly because he could never say no to him. He'd take him on his ship, tearing through the galaxy. He used to say 'I'll have the boy flying before he can walk'. That never happened of course, but it was close. Ben always had the same hunger for adventure as his father."

Her eyes sparkled for a moment, the life seemed to come back to her face.

"He never could settle down, Han, he could never sit still. So when Ben did what he did, he was straight in that damn ship of his, determined to bring him back. When he couldn't.. Well, he got restless with nothing to do anymore, so he set off again- back on his ship, looking for his new adventure." 

"I'm sorry General, you've been through so much- lost so much."

She nodded, and her hand tightened around yours. She brought it to her thigh, letting your hand rest just above her knee. 

"I lost my entire planet." She said finally, "My father... he destroyed it, even after I had given him what he wanted. Ben has too much of Vader in him, that was his downfall."

"Vader?"

"Darth Vader, his real name was Anakin Skywalker. He's gone now, but Ben swore to finish what he started." She gave no more explanation, and you didn't ask about it anymore, not wanting to delve into something you really knew nothing about. 

It was quiet, and you made no effort to move away from the General. She trusted you, you could feel it in how she held your hand, unafraid to let herself go. How long had it been since she got to talk about stuff like this? The people outside this room were soldiers, pilots, officers. You were something else- you were her friend. You felt sick.

Finally, she spoke. "This has been nice. Thank you, but I really have to get going." 

You nodded, and she let go of your hand, "Yes General."

"This evening, meet me at the outskirts of the jungle, I have something to show you."

"Yes General, I'll be there."

"I'll be waiting." She stood and walked to the door, opening it for you. You left the room and she followed. With a final smile and a curt nod, you and the General parted ways.

~~~~~~~~

Once again, you pulled the notebook and pen out from under your pillow. The person in the mailroom had also given you a handful of envelopes, so you retrieved them too. You thought for a moment, before you started writing.

 Kylo,

It's been quiet. I thought maybe I wouldn't get anywhere with this mission, but then the General spoke to me. She's hurting, Kylo, she's hurting a lot. I suppose you know that, but I had to tell you. I don't think it's quite fair, could you not even write to her? A hello? Forgive me for speaking out of line, but I feel bad for her. She told me about your father, his adventures, how he'd take you flying as a little boy. I think it's sweet.

Anyway, she asked me to meet her this evening in the jungle outside the base. I'll write to you again tomorrow telling you how it goes. 

I miss you Kylo, and so does she. 

Y/N.

You folded the letter and placed it in the envelope. Sealing it, you left your room and left it in the mailroom to be sorted. Who knew how these letters actually reached Kylo Ren? You had to address to give after all, unless 'The Finalizer' counted.

~~~~~~~~

You had your evening meal as usual, then took a quick shower. You wondered what the General was going to show you, and the nerves were bubbling in your gut. You doubted it would be anything bad, but maybe you would rather if it was. You didn't like these new developments, you didn't like feeling involved, implemented, important. If only you could be a soldier or something, and just leave it at that. But you needed the General's trust, needed her affections, and you had gained both in plentiful amounts.

Pulling on your clothes, you left the shower block as you did up the last button of your shirt. The clothes were light, and feeling clean and full of food was the best state you could be in. Carefully, you slipped out of the entrance and wandered around the back of the base, where the greenery awaited you, dark and menacing almost in the last dregs of sunlight. Organa waited, a large bag slung over her shoulder. She seemed to be struggling with it, so you carefully took it from her. It was heavy, and you were anxious to know what was inside.

"Follow me," The General said, as she began to walk into the jungle. There was a small beaten track, one that had clearly been walked before, but not often. You did as she said, careful not to trip on the winding roots or fall into the overgrown twisting plants.

"Where are we going?" You asked.

"I want to show you the Force."