Do You Believe In Aliens? [Kylo Ren x Reader]

24- Memories and Promises

Kylo doesn't warn you for what comes next. He simply lifts his hand and you fall forward, he catches you, still focusing on and searching through your memories. He has to know what you told the Resistance, the whole truth, in order to figure out what comes next.

He sees Canto Bight, you spinning in your flowing, beautiful dresses, the nightlife and breakfast in the restaurant. He sees himself, stood before you, sat in front of you. The way his eyes flit across your features, never brave enough to settle on one place. He's embarrassed by his own gaze, but he has to move past it, to the hours you spent holed up in a ship. It pains him, but he has the ability to skim through them, you did not.

Then he sees his mother. Leia, her hair that has long turned grey, wrinkles embedded in her skin from her years of smiling. She had barely attained them when he was a boy, but not they were full fledged and Kylo feels a sense of home-sickness. Leia is kind to you, and he appreciates that, seeing his mother treat you like she would any friend, it makes him smile. You can't see, your eyes are shut, screwed up in pain. Kylo listens to you speak to her, and she tells you about him, her son, his descent into something over than human. And you...

You don't believe her.

Kylo's hand falters for a moment, almost drops to his side. You thought he was good, you defied his own mother in order to believe in him. And he had betrayed you. He watches himself kill the Resistance, slaughter them like cattle, and he sees him how you see him- a monster.

Finally, the memory ends, and Kylo tears himself out of your mind. You come to moments after, and Kylo lays you back on the bed,

"I'm sorry, I had to know what you told them."

You nod, and press a hand to your forehead, "Was it..enough?"

"No. They have to find Earth." He looks to the doorway, "Snoke has ordered me to lead them there."

"But why? I don't understand."

"I can't tell you that."

"Kylo, no more lies." You struggle to sit up, arms shaking with the effort, your entire body feels shaken and weak.

He crosses his arms, "I don't know why, all I know is they want the Resistance on Earth, it's probably only to keep an eye on them."

You believe him, but you don't know why, all the things he lied about and still when you look in his eyes you can't help but trust him.

"Ok, so what do I need to do?"

"You have to go back to them," Kylo says, "I'll get to Hux to draft a plan, meet me at the bridge this evening."

He gets up, pulls the mask back on and strolls out of your bedroom. You hear the opening and closing of the door, and you collapse back on the bed. You think about the Resistance, how many of them died under Kylo's hand. If you go back, surely they'll never trust you? You'll be a murderer in their eyes, and you'll have to look them eyes and lead them to a planet you know the First Order are monitoring.

Earth. Your once home, so far away and almost forgotten- but not quite. You wonder if you'll ever step foot on the planet again, feel the grass and the ocean, see your house and it's garden dotted with forget-me-nots, smell your mother's home cooking and eat it as the bitter winter winds blow through the open back door. You swallow, and the taste of it is like a phantom in your throat, a ghost of what once was.

~~~~~~~~

Evening is announced by the hourly beeping of the alarm clock next to your bed. You've never actually set an alarm on it, but the beeping causes you to get up. You can't even tell it's evening as you exit your quarters and wander along the corridors. Troopers pass you wordlessly, the creaking and clacking of their armour fades around the corner, and officers brush past in their scratchy-looking uniforms.

The bridge is lively, with the constant clicking of keys on a keyboard, the beeping of machines and the humming of computer engines working overtime. Outside, the stars glimmer and planets approach lazily, coated in clouds that are strewn around like candyfloss from a fair back on Earth. You approach Ren, who is looking out at the sky and you can see his head shift slightly to face you.

"Look at it," He says, "How much would you do to protect it?"

"It's beautiful" You reply

Ren nods, "The Resistance seeks to destroy the peace, the remnants of the Republic have sworn to oppose our every move"

"The First Order scares people." You say, "You rule with violence."

"I understand this method is frowned upon on Earth."

You nod.

"We had democracy once, a Republic, but it was as corrupt as any Empire could be. Democracy doesn't work in this galaxy, too many people, so different from one-another. Sometimes, what is needed is for some to assert themselves as ruler, and keep everyone else in line." Ren pauses to take in the view, "The First Order preserves what you see before you. Without us, there would be chaos."

"How does this concern me?" You ask,

"The Resistance would like Earth, peaceful, democratic, stupid. You are to go back to them, to lead them to your planet."

"What- what will you do to them?"

"Monitor them, nothing more."

"Promise me, Kylo." Your eyes are fixed on a planet in the distance,

"I promise."

You can't see it, but his eyes are screwed shut beneath the mask and the words "I'm sorry" are mumbled beneath his breath.