Do You Believe In Aliens? [Kylo Ren x Reader]

12- A sample of something bigger

Quickly, you hurried back to your quarters. Your feet were slipping on the floor, heart pounding as you ran as fast as you could, pelting back to the safety of your room before anyone stopped to try and talk to you. 

You ran inside your quarters and into your bedroom. You weren't exactly panicking, but you were massively confused. Kylo Ren was human and he was handsome. That almost made you feel sick, the idea that you weren't repulsed by his looks. You should be, you definitely should be repulsed, and you definitely should not be enticed by him. God, something very, very bad was happening to you. Why? Why are you feeling this? You sat on your bed and buried your face into your pillow. Your face was hot, blood rushing to your face and creeping up the back of your neck. 

This was, potentially, worse than being kidnapped in the first place. How would you ever look at him again? You groaned, rolling onto your back and trying to block out the image of Kylo Ren, standing there, looming, face sullen and inviting. You wanted to reach out and touch his skin, imagining how it would feel, how he would react to your touch. 

You had to do something about this.

~~~~~~~~

Kylo threw his helmet against the wall. He was fuming, jarred by the experience and trying desperately not to lose his mind. He hadn't planned on showing you his face. He had never planned on even showing you a glimpse. He slammed his fist on his desk and tried to reign in his anger. You would have to be dealt with, somehow. For a brief moment, he reached for his lightsaber and thought about killing you, but it passed. Snoke and Hux would never allow it, not that you were used to taking orders from the ginger general. Snoke maybe, but not Hux. 

No, he had to do something else. Killing you wouldn't work, but Kylo Ren didn't know much else outside of violence. He ran his hands through his hair- what had you thought about his looks? Hang on, he didn't mean that. He didn't care about what you thought about him. However, despite that, he did visit his refresher and run a comb through his hair before he left his quarters again.

You were certainly a strange thing. He had so rarely thought about his appearance, but you made him think about the way he looked. Why? Why did you make him worry? He got a few funny looks from the stormtroopers as he passed, unmasked properly with his helmet no where in sight, but that didn't bother him. Your face when you saw him, however, that made him writhe in nerves. Your mouth was opened slightly, eyes wide, glowing with wonder in a way he had never seen before. He was struggling, and with each step he regretted leaving his mask in his room more and more. 

~~~~~~~~

You fell asleep after a little while, barely, slipping between being asleep and awake, but it was better than staring at the ceiling and wanting to tear your own eyes out. You rolled around atop the covers until you heard a knock on the door. Expecting Hux or a trooper with your meal, you got up and groggily made your way to the door. Instead, you were met with a face that you had sworn never to see again.

Kylo Ren.

"Y/N, I came to apologise."

"For what?" You scratched the back of your neck, trying not to look. It was so easy, to meet his eyes and study his features, but you didn't. You looked away, trying to steady your breathing. 

"I'm not sure exactly, but I feel like I should apologise."

He entered your quarters and sat down on the sofa, you followed, sitting beside him, but far enough away so you weren't even remotely touching.

"I don't mind you seeing my face," He leant over and held your chin, tilting your head and forcing you to look at him. His hands were still gloved, and the feel of leather was so familiar as you were met with new eyes, hopeful eyes. 

You were reminded suddenly of his evil, and you pulled away,

"I don't like looking at you, I'd prefer it if you kept the mask on." You got up, composing yourself, a part of you was crying out for you to stop, to look a while longer, but you saw the blade hanging from his belt and you knew it  was the same monster sat before you.

The mask was not what made him evil, that was his own fault. No amount of beauty could dampen that, only cause you to forget for a mere second. 

"I see," His voice was softer when not passing through the vocoder, so soft and human. You could almost feel it in the air, dancing and worming its way into your ears. Your heart keened. "I have something planned for you, be ready." He stood, and made his way for the door.

"And who said I would do as you say?" You challenged him, frustrated by the way he affected you, 

"I did, remember your place, Y/N."

You saw it was no use and apologised, "Sorry Commander."

He hummed, fingers playing with the ends of his hair. You watched him and your hands reached out of their own accord, walking towards him, you barely grazed the tips before he flinched away. His hair was soft, softer than you imagined, and it melted through your fingers smoothly.

Kylo Ren paused, and you dared to step closer. Your hands made for his hair again, and seeing that you weren't going to hurt him, he let your hands come. Your fingers ran through whatever hair he could, but you were careful not to touch his face. You felt as if it would burn you, he was so dangerous, even this made you quiver slightly. It felt so natural, even if both of you had never done something like this before. Kylo looked down and you, and slowly his hands curled around your wrists, gently pulling you from his hair. He held your hands between the two of you, hovering in space, kind and yet a warning that he was still in control. You slipped your hands from his grasp and caught his fingers, clutching around the leather. His hands were large, and you were holding a finger in each hand, like a child, looking up at his eyes. 

His pupils were dilated, his eyes sparkling with magic. He moved closer, dangerously close, his robes brushing against your legs. Any closer and your chests would collide, not that you thought it would be a and thing if they did. 

"Commander-" 

"Your behaviour has improved significantly since you've been given your quarters." His voice was still professional, "Perhaps it is praise and not punishment that is the way to your heart." His word choice was deliberate, the double meaning making you stumble over your words.

You couldn't think of what to reply with, all that you could manage was a "Yes Commander..."

"Good, you're learning, little one."

He leant down, and for a moment you though he was going to kiss you, but he didn't. He closed the gap, but not completely, and you weren't brave enough to finish it for him. You waited, leaning forward ever so slightly to invite him to do the same, but he shook his head,

"No. Not yet." Kylo pulled away, holding your chin with a bent finger and smiling, "Hux will visit soon, I'm sure you won't mention this."

You nod, silent and desperate to continue what must have been a dream. Kylo didn't say anything else, just left, the door shutting behind him. You stood in your quarters for a good few minutes, wobbling with uncertainty, blood rushing to your face at an alarming rate. Your mouth hung open, as if you were in fact kissing somebody, eyes wide and glazed with amazement. 

This was new.