Do You Believe In Aliens? [Kylo Ren x Reader]

32- More

This isn't how it was supposed to go.

You tug at your bags, heaving them onto the back of a ship. They are labelled, marked as yours, but they blend in with every other item, bags upon bags of clothes, pictures, letters once wrote and read, teddybears from youth and ornaments from old times. You look around, everyone is busy, chatting and smiling as they pack in a uniformed pattern of passing and packing, bags exchanged from one pair of hands to the next. 

How many times have they done this? So well rehearsed and executed. Is it annually? Monthly maybe, constant moving in fear of being discovered? You feel ill, swaying like a drunk as you wander back to your room to collect the rest of your belongings. You are leading them into the First Order's hands, and while you were promised that it would only be surveillance, you already know that cannot be entirely true. How long until Snoke gets impatient and crushes them under his frail and withered fist? How long until the flame of a sabre comes down upon their heads? 

General Organa oversees the procedures. She has her own ship, that will lead the fleet, and it contains all of the machines and computers that had once been sitting in dark room beeping and blinking, flashing and clicking day in and day out. She beckons you on, and you climb the clanking metal ramp. It's a grand ship, well cared for, with oiled joints and polished surfaces that contrast to the rugged, well-used fighter ships. She offers you tea, bubbling blue and smelling of oceans you once knew. The salty taste is oddly comforting, balance with a sweetness you can't quite place. The drink makes you feel homesick. Organa nods to the screen behind her, where a familiar globe spins slowly. 

"Is that it?" She asks,

You nod, and set down your cup. You go to it. Earth. A home you once had. The oceans, the greenery, the snow-capped mountains that shine white on the screen before you. You can see the people, the cities, the towns you have visited, the places you have gone, the ~ you have met and known and loved. Family and friends that once you called yours. It's a feeling that tugs at your heart, makes it want to go there, desperate to feel the ground beneath you once more. You can feel your stomach tighten, your gut worming and flying and floating, wishing to drag you home. Organa watches, as your hand reaches up and touches the screen, only to find the image flicker and die at your touch. It goes black and your daydream ends.

"That was it."

"We'll be there soon, it's a day's journey at most. I would like you to travel with me."

"On this ship?"

She nods, and hands you your tea.

"General- You've been too kind to me."

"You are more of a friend than any of the Resistance. They see me as a leader, a fighter, I feel as if you see me as merely a person."

"That's all any of us are." You swallow, "Except Kylo Ren."

"He won't find us on Earth, you'll be safe from him." She takes your hand, soft, wrinkled skin that feels cool and comforting in your hand. Her thumb strokes the back of your hand in a way that feels familiar. Your mother used to do the same thing, when you were a child, when you couldn't sleep and the tears wouldn't stop. It bought you back to Earth then, and it does so now.

"General..."

"You are more my child than Kylo is." She closes her eyes, she seems calm, "Thank you."

~~~~~~~~

The departure of the ships is a sorrowful moment. You can't bare to look from the windows, and the feeling of movement beneath you brings tears to your eyes. You're hidden in your room, as General Organa commands the fleet just metres away. You couldn't send a final letter, you could send no warning. The mailroom was closed to help aid with the moving, and now you wonder if Kylo will ever find you. What if he comes and sees noone is there? What if he gives up searching? What if he thinks you wanted to go home and lets you go? You sit on the bed and wipe your eyes. 

Please Kylo, please don't let me go. 

You mutter it under your breath, begging and praying that he hears you. He found you once before, but will he hear you now?

~~~~~~~~

Kylo tugs on his robe in a swift, single movement. The weight of his lightsabre on his belt is a comfort to him as he pulls on his gloves, flexing his fingers until they fit right in the leather. Hux watches, stoic and unbothered, mumbling something to an officer beside him. The ship is ready, engine purring as he steps on board. He will go alone. He doesn't want any troopers with him, he doesn't want anyone to see how he reacts when he is reunited with you. Will you be as excited as him? He ponders it as he sits down in his chair, letting his hands wrap around the steering, letting his boots tap on the metal floor. 

As he pulls out of the Finalizer hanger, he takes a moment to remove his helmet, thick hair falling onto his shoulders. He wants you to see him, wants you to touch his skin, his hair, feel him and hold him and not let go, not even when the two of you return to the Finalizer. He is sick of being afraid, of hiding. He doesn't want to hide anymore. 

But it's ok, because he's nearly there. The base is just a short journey away, a quick trip through hyperspace and then he's with you again. He smiles, alone is his ship, and his face feels strange. He pulls out of hyperspace, letting his eyes adjust from the streams of white to the black of the sky. He can see it, the greenery of the jungle, the trees and vines and bushes. And there's the base, metal and haunting. There you are, he thinks, there is his home. 

But something's wrong.

There are no ships, there are no officers parading around. No alarms are sounded as the ship lands on the concrete, no armed men come out to fight him. He steps out, and is met with nothing, nothing. Where are you? Why aren't you here? He scans the base, walks towards the door that is locked, opens it  with a harsh shove. Nobody, nobody. He stops, a shaky breath escapes him. His throat is tight, his hands in fists by his side. 

He should have expected this. You were offered Earth and you chose it. He was stupid, to ever believe that you had loved him, loved him more than your planet and everyone who lived on it. He wants to destroy, to break everything in his reach. But he won't. He'll save it, for the scum that have taken you from him yet again. He gets back into his ship and plots his course for your precious Earth.