Do You Believe In Aliens? [Kylo Ren x Reader]

29- I didn't mean that

You awake to the sound of birdsong. The morning dew still glistens on your window, and you can feel the chill of the air, the sun yet to warm the planet you're living on. You force the blanket off of your body, hissing at the cold, shivering as you pull on your coat and wander outside. The sun is pale in the sky, and the wind bites at your cheeks, burning your ears as you walk into the forest and find the clearing. The grass is damp as you sit down, producing the pen and paper from your coat pocket. You rest the notepad on your knee, and begin to write,

Dear Commander Ren,

I feel as if I have earned the General's trust completely. She took me into the forest yesterday, and taught me how to wield a lightsaber. I'm hardly as talented as you, but it was fun. Perhaps we could spar once I return to the ship? I would like that, very much. 

I know I only wrote to you yesterday, and that you're yet to reply, but I wanted to tell you as soon as possible. I wait for the next time to write to you eagerly, because it's the closest I get to speaking to you. Do you know when you'll collect me? I can't wait to go home. 

Y/N.

By the time you had finished the letter, the sun had turned from pale yellow to a full golden colour. The ground had warmed slightly, and you were comfortable, sitting on the grass and letting yourself breathe for a moment. It was silent, even the birds were hush for a moment. You felt guilty, for befriending the General, knowing you were going to be leaving again soon. But she needed a friend, and despite your mission, you really felt something for her, you cared about her. She was Kylo's mother, and if Kylo couldn't be there for her, you felt a duty to do it instead. Maybe one day, Kylo would lose his fear, and he could go home. 

You imagined it, closing your eyes and smiling. Kylo would step down from his ship. He would remove his mask before the resistance soldiers, before tossing aside his weapon. The General would step forward, the soldiers parting either side of her. Kylo would smile, and embrace her for the first time in so long. They would both probably cry as they held each other, mother and son, reunited. It was just a hope, but you wanted it so desperately to be true. Kylo deserved his family, and the General deserved her son. 

After a while, your legs began to grow tired. You stood and made your way back to the base. People had woken up now, and the busy atmosphere was back, with people brushing past you as you walked to the mail room. The worker greeted you and you handed over your letter.

"Here, one came for you." 

You take it, trying to hide your excitement as you hurried back to your room. You tossed off your coat and flung yourself onto the bed, ignoring the way it groaned under your weight. The letter was from Kylo, the paper thick and glossy as you read it. You smiled to yourself giddily, your chest growing tight.

Y/N 

The meeting certainly sounds interesting, I would not be apposed to training you further.

You speak of 'home', what are you referring to? If it is Earth, than we've already spoken about this, the answer is no. But, maybe you're referring to someplace else. Is the Finalizer your home? I hope it is, I like to think you have grown to like the place, heaven knows I wish I could like it too. Maybe I'm looking into too much, of course you never come to call it home. 

I've treated you poorly thus far, and I wish I could undo that. You are special to me, but I can't quite tell you what it is yet. I'm a coward. You told me once that you loved me, and I told you never to say it again. I didn't mean that.

I'll come to collect you in three days. Be ready. 

Kylo. 

The words don't feel real as you read them. Your finger brushes over the words as if they're not real, a facade, a daydream. You hold the piece of paper tight, struggling to comprehend the words, what they mean, the implications of what is right before you.

Three days! You chose to focus on that, just three days until he'll come for you. You shove the paper under your pillow and leave your room. You have to finish your mission, ensure you do it properly. Kylo cannot be disappointed. You find the General in the mess hall and pull her aside.

"General I've had an idea. Can we talk?"

"Of course, come, sit with me."

You take a table in the far corner, your words are lost in the babble of chatter from the Resistance. 

"What's this idea of yours?" She takes a bit of jelly and swallows it thoughtfully.

"Earth."

"Earth?"

"The- Kylo Ren knows where you are. You should move the Resistance to Earth. It's a peaceful planet, out of the way, and humans have no knowledge of you." You pause for a moment to drink your water, "You would never be discovered there, you'd be safe."

She thinks it over, and for a moment you think she'd decline. But then the General smiles.

"I'll think it over, thank you for bringing this to my attention."

"Well..." You glance around at all the people around you, "Sleep on it, will you?"

She nods, and you take it as your time to leave. You wander the halls until you stumble upon a training room. The room is padded and relatively empty, but blasters and sabres line the walls. You take one, and immediately a little drone flies out of a hole in the wall and beeps at you.

"You're one of the training robots, huh? You fire shots?"

The drone spins around and you ignite the sabre. It takes a moment to adjust your grip, until the blade feels like an extension of your own arm.

"Ok little guy, I'm ready."

The drone hums, and a flash of blue flies towards your face, you swing and it ricochets towards the wall. You laugh at yourself but almost miss the next blast. You manage to dodge, and you feel the heat just brush past your head. 

"Hey- Hey calm down!"

The only response you get is another blast, that once again you fail to hit. The drone doesn't stop, if anything it speeds up, more and more shots that singe your hair and burn your skin. 

"Stop! Halt! End!" You stumble back into the corner, but the drone doesn't stop, it only flies towards you.

You have no room to dodge, and the blasts hit you dead on, scorching and decorating your clothes in black holes. You yell for help, but it seems like nobody's coming. Maybe the walls are too thick that nobody outside can hear you. The drone comes closer, and you feel the heat before it reaches you, the air smells like burning and you feel it down the back of your throat and inside your nose. Eventually, you realise that nobody is coming to your rescue, that you're on your own. The lightsabre flickers in your hand, and you turn it off. The hilt is heavy and solid, and you hold it uncertainly. Why did you do this? You're an idiot. You turn the thing over in your hand and look up at the drone. Hmm... maybe...

You throw the hilt at the drone. It hits, and the thing falters for a moment, giving you a bit of space. You jump to your feet and scramble towards the exit, a final shot hits the door just as it closes behind you and you sigh, leaning against the door and sliding down it until you're sat in the hallway, trying to gather your thoughts. Never again. Now, where's the medical room?