Do You Believe In Aliens? [Kylo Ren x Reader]

16- Stay for a while

You ended up drinking a lot more than you wanted to. Normally, a lack of funds prevented you from going past your limit, but the drinks just kept coming, and Kylo didn't seem inclined to stop you.

In fact, he liked watching you enjoy yourself, you were smiling and laughing in ways you hadn't before, and it made him happy- even if he never outwardly expressed it. Your laugh was such a sweet noise, even if you didn't agree with him, he thought it sounded perfect. There wasn't much laughter in his life, nor were there a lot of smiles, genuine happiness was a rare feeling for Kylo Ren. He got pleasure from conquering worlds, but the last time he felt real happiness was probably during his childhood, which always felt like more of a dream than his actual past.

You watched him through half-lidded eyes, the drink wearing heavy on you, making you exhausted and full of energy all at once. You giggled when he met your gaze, followed by a yawn. Kylo sighed, finally snatching the glass from your hand,

"Hey!" You tried to grab it back, but Kylo pulled it out of your reach, "Thats- that's mine."

"You've had enough, it seems they aren't here, we should get back."

You groaned, "But I like it here, everything's free."

Kylo stood up, grabbing your wrist forcefully and half-dragging you out of your seat. You fought against his grip, but you fumbled.

"Kylo~ I want to go back."

He didn't respond, only led you outside. The cold air sobered you slightly, allowing you to stand on your own. You blinked a few times and tried to make out the streets before you, everything was kind of hazy, in a dream-like sort of way. You started stumbling one way, only for Kylo to guide you in another direction entirely, 

"This way, little one." He looked down at the state of you, "I shouldn't have let you drink so much, I want you up bright and early tomorrow."

It was already tomorrow, though, by the time you arrived in the hotel reception, it was early morning and the sun was beginning to chip away at the darkness. Kylo helped you into your room, standing beside your bed as you climbed in. You had barely managed to kick off your shoes before collapsing onto the pillow.

Kylo had every intention of sleeping in his own bed that night, but you held out a feeble hand and whined his name.

"Kylo, sleep with me."

He swallowed, eyes scanning you for any sign of sarcasm or joking.

"What?"

"Sleep in my bed, there's plenty of room."

"But why? I have my own bed, this is- this isn't."

"I want you to, I don't want to be lonely."

Maybe it was the alcohol that Kylo had himself drank, maybe it was your drunken state that prevented you from registering what you were saying, but for some reason neither of you had any real objections. Kylo wanted to say how inappropriate this was, but then he saw that he'd have to take at least 3 steps to get to his own bed and agreed. Realistically, he didn't dislike the idea, he was more concerned for what Hux or Snoke would say if they found out, but they wouldn't- right? This was his personal hotel room, he could do what he liked in the privacy of this room. It's only when these things are carried out in the public eye that he has to worry.

He didn't want to think about the consequences, all he wanted to do was sleep and forget about all of things in his life that prevented him from doing stuff like this all the time. He pulled the covers up to his neck and felt your warmth beside him. You were on your side, facing away, but he didn't mind. This felt nice, natural, even if he knew deep down you were only saying tases things because you wasted.

You could never truly love him, he realised. He had put you through so much, and Kylo Ren had never been a loveable man. He had lovers in the past, round women that stayed around for far too long and offered him very little. They had all been shallow, money hungry creatures that never really felt anything towards him. Hux had lapped up the opportunity to have such relationships of his own, flings that never went anywhere but he always pretended like they were going to. It was a 'benefit to the job' Hux called it, but Kylo saw it as a curse. No matter how much those girls liked to pretend, they could never see him as anything else but a fearsome dictator. He wasn't a lover to them, he was a status bonus- a bragging right.

As he thought about it, he grew more sour. You weren't like them, he knew that much, but then- what were you? A friend? A companion? Just a prisoner, or were you more? The ship became cramped after a while, no amount of freedom would stop that, but this trip, this trip was when you got true freedom. Sure, you dressed in what Kylo brought for you, but if you wanted to go wandering, or gambling, or drinking, he wouldn't stop you. He wanted you to see him differently than everyone else did, you were the only person in the galaxy who knew of him, but didn't share the same opinion everyone else did. When you looked at him, you saw a human where the people saw a monster. You saw potential where everyone else saw bloodied fear. 

Kylo shut his eyes, his throat was burning and tight, his chest felt like it was collapsing, his hands gripped around the pillow, pretending he was holding you instead. Tears began to slip out from between his lashes, decorating his face and the bed in small droplets of pain. He felt so alone, even if he could still feel you ethereal warmth emanating on his skin.