Do You Believe In Aliens? [Kylo Ren x Reader]

33- Changes and Remains

The sound of the fuel combusting is enough to keep you awake. It has been hours, and yet as you sit at the front of the ship, and your head droops, you cannot sleep. If you sleep, the journey will progress, faster and faster without your consciousness. You wait, desperately clinging to the hope that Kylo will stop this from happening, that fate will pull the two of you together, despite how fond they are of dragging you apart. 

Leia rests beside you, her hand rests atop yours. She sleeps soundly, laid back in her chair. Peaceful. You watch the rise and fall of her chest, and wish that she will sleep through Kyo's arrival. You don't want her to see him, to see you go to him. What will she think? You don't hate her, you can't possibly hate this woman. She's so strong, and true to her people, who could possibly despise such a heroine? You hold her hand tight and will her slumber to continue.

It's so dark, and quiet. The other ships fly behind yours, and the only noise is of roaring fuels and flames that spit violently from the engines. For the next while, you will drift aimlessly through the skies, a rest period for the pilots, before speeding off towards earth. How long is it now? You dread to think, so you don't, only tuck your legs up and hug them close. The stars blink in and out of existence, the expanse of darkness envelops you, but you cannot rest. Your mind is so painfully awake, running and running with so many thoughts. What if he doesn't come? What do you do? What will your family think if you return to them? Will you return to them? You can picture it now, being held in their arms, your picture displayed on missing posters that cling to lampposts in the wind and rain. You close your eyes, and there they are, celebrating your arrival.

And yet, it wouldn't make you happy. 

You bite feverishly at your fingernails, tugging at raw skin and peeling cuticles. Only Kylo can make you happy now, and Hux and the ship and all of the people that live on it. You rest your head on your knees. How long is it now?

~~~~~~~~

Kylo approaches the fleet. He's hovering a little way behind, but he can see them. They're resting, on autopilot, as they float in the emptiness of the galaxy. They won't see him, not while they're sleeping, and he dares to fly closer. Your heart is beating in his chest, your thoughts are synced with his now. You're picturing Leia's face, how she might look if she realises your betrayal. The pained expression makes his heart ache faintly, somewhere deep inside remorse is struggling to be felt.  Where are you? The front of the fleet, yes, he can almost see you now. So close. He dodges the ships, weaves between them and before long he is docking alongside the ship. 

~~~~~~~~

Alarm bells ring out. Someone unauthorised is trying to dock alongside you. All around you, the Resistance awake, and ships roar and burn with a new life. You're on your feet, and so is Leia. 

"Your lightsabre." She says, "Go and get it." 

You nod, and your feet take you to your room before your brain can think to. You grab the thing out of your bag and the force is pounding inside your body. Is it him? Or some space pirates? Maybe they're looking for a quick buck? Or is it the First Order? Some unknown troopers who don't know you reside on this ship? You feel the blade ignite in your hand, and it burns and it flickers and you ache to use it. Adrenaline has started to pump through you and when you return to Leia you can register the same feeling on her face. She lives for moments like these, when all the cards are played and only one can win.

Maybe she isn't so different from her husband. 

She nods to you and her only lightsabre is drawn from underneath her cloak. The light hurts your eyes and you squint. It's now, either you have been saved or you will be shown no mercy. A door near the back of the ship hisses open and you can barely hear it over the alarms. 

Leia holds your hand as they approach. The wedding ring digs into your flesh and you wonder where Han is now. He would like to be here, you think, in this moment, to live out whatever happens. He would like to bare the God's will, and he would fight them if he could. Leia lets out a single, deep, breath and the final door separating you from whoever awaits opens dreadfully slowly.

"Kylo."

Leia's sabre dies in her hand, the hilt clatters to the floor. Kylo stands there, his eyes are dark, his hair rests on his shoulders.

He's not wearing a mask. Not this time.

She goes to him. And even though the red flame screams in his hand, she isn't scared. Leia reaches out, feeling for his robes, his thick belt, his hair, his skin.

"It's, it's really you."

"I've come for Y/N." He says, brushing her off with a single, gloved hand.

Leia shakes her head, "No, son, you can't have her. I'm taking her home."

"So am I." 

Your hands shake, the sabre wobbles in your grip. Leia looks to you and you see the realisation dawn, like the sun rising on her worn skin. She turns her head away and her hair falls in front of her face. You can't look at her. You're sickened with yourself.

"I hear you're a natural with that thing." Kylo kneels before you, and his hand wraps around yours, taking the lightsabre from you. You offer no resistance. "Your letters were most entertaining."

"Why?" Leia says, "Why would you hurt me like this?"

You bite back the scorching feeling in your throat, "He's not a monster, not truly. I was right, but you couldn't be convinced."

"I want to believe it, so badly do I, but look at him. He's broken, destroyed by the darkness inside of him."

Kylo's eyes flash with something, a long forgotten memory. He turns off both of the lightsabres he holds and fastens them to his belt.

"M- Leia." He removes a glove and extends a pale hand to her. His hands are scarred, calloused, but Leia stares at it like it's a delicate flower

"I have flesh, I have a heart and a brain." He touches her face, feeling at her wrinkles and her cheeks which are wet with tears, "You have changed so much."

"So have you."  She whispers, "Come home, please."

He shakes his head, and his other hand grips yours tight, "My home is not here, it cant' be. I'm sorry."

"Y/N, please, stay with me. I know it's not much, but we can form a life on our new base, a new home." She sighs, and her breath quivers, "Please. Don't go."

"General Organa, it's been a pleasure meeting you." You go to her and wrap her up in your arms. You clasp her tight, trying to memorise how she feels, how she smells, how she sighs in your grasp. "I'll look after him, I promise."

She nods into your shoulder, "You better."

Kylo removes you from her grasp, and you hold his naked hand. The flesh is so familiar, so soothing. He leads you gently down the corridor. You chance a final glance at the General and see her, sitting in her chair holding Kylo's glove to her cheek.

The door shuts and you're standing on Kylo's ship.