emotions | love alarm

15 ~

Chapter Fifteen

Ae-ri glances at the clock on her desk before looking at the fields of green from her place on her balcony. It was 4 am, but her mind was still as restless as ever.

She huffs and lies down on the marble floor, looking at the vast universe before her. It had been less than 24 hours since they last spoke and it was becoming unbearable to exist without him. She didn't know what to do and it was beginning to gnaw on her thoughts and feelings; how could she not have noticed?

Stars glimmer before her as her thoughts carry her to where her memories of him lie in content. She remembers feeling warm, her stomach fluttering, her heart wanting to reach his, and still doesn't find the proper label for them. Sure, she had high emotional intelligence, but she never had had to label love as an emotion.

Ae-ri had never had romantic feelings for anyone, she didn't really know what they would feel like and her mind palace only had theatrical examples. From her people watching she could tell the physical signs of love, the chemistry behind the emotion--but she didn't know if she felt it.

A breeze carries her thoughts away and she sits up, determined to get her friend back no matter what.

***

It's around five in the morning when he hears the soft knock on the door connecting their rooms. He looks up from his place in the chair near his bed and gets up, drifting towards the door. Sun-oh hesitates for a second, wondering if he was prepared to have the inevitable conversation that seemed to be keeping her up as well.

He shuts his eyes and twists the knob, revealing a very fatigued Ae-ri with her clouded look of overthinking he hadn't seen in a while. He watches as she sighs in relief and pushes him into his room, shutting the door behind them.

"I'm sorry," she exhales, her eyes immediately becoming glossy as she starts discussing her feelings, an unusual thing he didn't think was possible. He opens his mouth to tell her it's okay but she shakes her head, sitting him down in his chair.

"No, no, you don't understand," she insists. Sun-oh watches as her eyes meet his, pleading for him to just listen. He relaxes into the chair and looks at her, "Go ahead."

Ae-ri exhales, tucks loose curls behind her ears and begins her discourse.

"I don't know when I become so oblivious to your actions and feelings, or stopped determining the intention behind them, but I apologize. Had I known you felt the way you did, I would've had more time to evaluate my own feelings, because I highkey don't understand them right now."

Sun-oh watches as she paces back and forth, looking up to make sure he was listening every now and then.

"If I had known about your feelings, I would have been able to prevent you from getting hurt," her voice cracks. She hated seeing him in as much pain as he was in last night, and had she known the root of it, she would've disrupted time to take it back.

She continues with her concluding sentence.

"I know I love you, it's a fact. But I don't know if I love you in that manner. Like I think I do, but I just don't feel a hundred percent certain that-"

Sun-oh sighs in amusement before getting up and walking over to her, getting as close as possible without their bodies touching. Their moods shift as silence fills the space between them, her words dying on her lips. They stay looking at each other and Sun-oh lifts a finger to her chin, tilting it up to his face.

He glances down at her mouth before looking back at her and asking so quietly she almost misses it. "Do you want me to kiss you?"

"I don't understand the nature of your question," she whispers back.

He smiles softly before caressing her neck with the tips of his fingers, his hand coming up to cup the side of her jaw, his thumb under her chin. Ae-ri feels her breathing pick up, her heart pounding against her ears and he asks once more, "Do you want me to kiss you?"

Ae-ri searches his eyes for anything except pure curiosity and tenderness only to find nothing. Sun-oh watches her mind analyze the situation, her eyes conflicted, yet her heart wanting something completely different. Ae-ri sighs and pushes her mind away for a second, letting her heart speak for her.

She presses herself closer to Sun-oh's body, slipping his hand to the curve of her back before nodding, "Yes, please."

He doesn't waste a second.

Sun-oh wraps her curls in his hands, pressing her towards him gently, nudging her nose against his. Her hands cling onto his shirt, and he looks at the glimmer in her eyes reappear before smiling and leaning down, his mouth pressing against hers once, softly. Ae-ri feels warmth rush from her abdomen to the rest of her body, her breath leaving her at the gesture. She feels his hands tighten their grip on her yet he pulls away much to her dismay.

He looks down at her, pressing their foreheads together and asks just to make sure this is something she truly desired, "Do you want to keep going?"

She nods once and that's all he needs to press their lips together once more, never wanting to forget the taste of her tongue on his lips. She unravels herself against him, letting her vulnerability show without fear of retribution. Her fingers tremble as they caress the back of his neck, tangling themselves in his hair. She tasted of honey and he didn't think he could ever stop kissing her if it would feel this good.

Ae-ri feels him tug on her curls softly to his left and inhales sharply when his lips slip past her jaw and to her neck. Her soft sighs reach his ears and he only presses her against him tighter, wishing to have her as close as possible. His mouth leaves wet kisses along the curve of her neck and when he reaches her mouth again, her eyes are filled with desire.

He plants a lingering kiss on her mouth before ultimately pulling away and she takes the time to find her bearings. Her abdomen kept throbbing and her mind was fuzzy with thoughts she didn't know she was capable of having. Sun-oh doesn't drop his touch on her but instead tucks in her curls, caressing her cheeks softly.

Ae-ri's eyes finally meet his and she tries to stop the smile from spreading across her face. Sun-oh peers down at her and smiles with some confusion, "What?"

"That was my first kiss."

"No, you just-"

"No, that was my first real kiss," she clarifies.

Sun-oh stills in understanding before asking quickly, "Was it good? If not we could try again? Or not it could just be that I'm the wrong person-" Ae-ri shakes her head in amusement before kissing his cheek. "It was perfect, thank you."

***

"So what does this make us?" he asks quietly, afraid to disrupt the sun from rising. She looks up from her place on his lap and shrugs, cuddling into the palm of right hand.

"If you want to go back to being best friends we can do that," he says with some slight pain filling his heart.

Ae-ri sits up and turns her body around to face his, pressing a kiss to his mouth so softly he almost misses it. Her fingers slip into his and she brings his hand up to her face, her eyes looking into his.

For a moment, they stay like this, the sun passing between the silence and soft shadows that lay over their bodies.

"Can we be that and more?"

"I don't understand the nature of your question," he teases.

She lets out a soft smile and pulls away, "Sun-oh I'm asking if you want to be my-"

He tugs her hand lazily with a smile, pressing her into a warm hug and laughs at how oblivious she could be. "I would want nothing more than to be yours," he confirms. Ae-ri's eyes travel to his briefly and he sees the care in them before she looks away, a soft flicker of happiness lighting them up.

They watch the sunrise embraced, Sun-oh tugging on her hair every now and then, Ae-ri playing with his fingers. Their morning consists of gentle smiles and soft caresses, quelling whatever doubts or fears life had made them feel.

"I love you," he whispers, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"I love you too," she smiles, lifting his hand to her mouth briefly.