emotions | love alarm

39 ~

Chapter Thirty-Nine

"That's not fair," Sun-oh stills and Ae-ri wipes her cheeks swiftly, composing herself to feel nothing. "You, know that's not fair." 

The air had grown a bit too tense and In-ho could tell by the way Ae-ri was looking at neither of them, that a chord had been cut loose on her control and she would fail to be as collected as she usually was. 

"Fair or not fair. You misinterpreted the last ordeal and I lost you despite my having the intention to explain. I did not want to lose you, so I did not say anything," her eyes held a pain Sun-oh was unused to seeing in her eyes, "I could not risk it."

Sun-oh stays quiet, searching her for any explanation or conflict, only to find nothing.

He looks away.

In-ho scoffs and shakes his head at both of them, "You're not gonna reply to that?"

Sun-oh simply glances at him and averts his eyes in fear of unleashing his innermost thoughts about the man in front of him that had caused so much chaos in the span of a few months. 

"Perhaps if you weren't so insecure, you could still have her the entire time," In-ho prods at a hidden wound. 

Ae-ri takes a grounding breath at how still Sun-oh becomes and presses her fingers into the skin below her thighs before meeting In-ho's eyes. "You may leave, In-ho, thank you for your compliance."

He snorts before looking between them, his eyebrows briefly raising in what could only be judgment at their handling of emotions before getting up and walking towards the entrance, silence filling the area as the door eventually shuts to indicate his leave.

The silence drags on for a few more minutes, seconds that were filled with the taste of a heart-sinking uncertainty that left Ae-ri silently wiping hot tears from her cheeks. 

This is what she had wanted to prevent and now that it was occurring she did not know what to make of it all. He was too quiet, too pensive, and the lack of protest left her hurting more than she thought it would. 

Sun-oh glances over at her, his mind a jumble of too many thoughts, too many feelings. 

"You should've said something," his voice manages to escape him. 

She gives something between a shudder and tremor and breathes before replying, "I did not want this to happen." 

He flutters his eyes shut briefly before he gets up and walks to where Ae-ri sits with splotchy cheeks as quiet tears slipped down her face, her eyes fixed back down onto her lap once more. He kneels in front of her, softly slipping his fingers across her cheeks and tucking her hair behind her ears.

"Sweetheart, I'm so sorry," he whispers gently.

She shakes her head, eyes alarmed, "Stop, no, what? Sun-oh, you have nothing to apologize for."

Sun-oh frowns, "I made you feel that you could not speak to me, or tell me the truth. This is worth apologizing for."

"No, it's okay."

"It is not."

"Sun-oh, please."

"Ae-ri, please."

"You are not in the wrong."

"But I will still apologize."

"Sun-oh," her exasperation rings clear.

"I will not stop until you accept it," his eyes only showed how far his resolve was willing to go. She exhales through her nose, her fingers coming up to meet his jaw, his wrists, his hands cupping her face. Ae-ri presses her forehead against his, breathes him in, feels him.

They linger for moments that seem to stretch to lifetimes and she knows him, knows his heart, and that is sufficient. 

"I accept it but you have to accept my apology for not telling you earlier."

"No apology necessary, but I accept," his eyes twinkled as he peered up at her with a soft smile, his lips meeting her cheeks, her nose, her eyes, her chin.

"See, that wasn't so hard was it?" 

She laughs in relief. 

***

"I'm not understanding."

"Mother, they tricked you."

Amara looks at her daughter, looks at Sun-oh, whom she had grown fond of, and sighs, her fingers coming up to her temples. 

"Is this why you went a bit quiet a few nights ago?"

Ae-ri nods and frowns at her mom, "I apologize I did not communicate this to you sooner, I wanted to make sure this was completely true and had evidence before I came to you."

"No, baby, it's okay, you did the right thing. I'll make sure to undergo the correct procedure for canceling the contract, yeah?"

Ae-ri nods and smiles a bit, holding her mom's hand comfortingly, "I know it felt nice to have a friend in the networking group, I'm sorry, Mother."

Amara smiles, smoothing a thumb over Ae-ri's cheek gently before sighing and looking between her and Sun-oh. "No need, darling. How are you guys feeling? I know it must have been a rough few days."

Sun-oh tugs on one of Ae-ri's curls, exhaling through his nose, "It was challenging, but I think overall it has helped us heal."

"Agreed," Ae-ri says quietly, leaning into Sun-oh's side. 

Amara smiles, "Beautiful, I'm glad. I'll get to work then, but make sure to relax a bit, and be gentle to yourselves, okay?"

They nod their yeses and she gifts them a warm smile before they get up and walk toward Ae-ri's room. 

The silence is warm as they walk there and when she feels his fingers brush up against hers she does not hesitate to wrap their fingers together, tucking into his arm a bit, peering up to see the gentle look in his eye. 

"Thank you for helping," she thanks softly. 

He lingers on her mouth for a beat too long before nodding, "Anytime."

They make it to her room and she fills her lungs with the air they are lacking at being so close to him. His warmth met her back in a hug, his hands hovering near her hands, the silence a bit too tense for her to concentrate. 

She shifts her hair to the side and that is invitation enough for him to slip his hands to her waist and lay a soothing kiss on the back of her neck, his breath causing rippling goosebumps across her skin, his fingers slipping down to her hips. 

They savor the warmth, the intimacy, the silent declaration of the tenderness contained within their hearts they dare not speak into the void. 

They feel it all. 

He presses another gentle kiss on her skin before taking a moment, reeling his desire back into his body despite wishing to acknowledge hers. She had to decide if he was what she wanted, if this is what she yearned for. 

His hands slip past her to her door and as he presses it open, she sighs at the return to their new strange sense of normalcy where they wanted each other but did not want to rush it. She did not know if this is what he wanted and that was enough for her to not try and label it. 

The kisses and words they shared in the car the night of the banquet were something they had not spoken of. Things were different than they were before, but they had not acknowledged what the lines were and she did not want to discuss it if he wasn't ready for a relationship. 

She sighs and as he moves to her couch, she lingers in the doorway, looking at him, looking at all of him, and feels her heart squeeze at the idea of not being with him. Her eyes slip away and look anywhere but him for a moment. 

He looks over as he turns on the TV to ask if she wanted to watch a movie but frowns a bit before asking, "What's wrong?"

She stays quiet for a moment, long enough to coax her feelings into a corner of her mind, placed where she would not speak them out loud, and shakes her head, her mouth slipping into a smile that couldn't quite reach her eyes, "Nothing, why?"