emotions | love alarm

28 ~

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Ae-ri sighs as she slurps on her smoothie and looks at the city from where she sat on her bench. People passed her by, laughing and smiling, not a care in the world and blissfully oblivious. There were some pets that would walk by and look at her almost as if they knew of her inner turmoil but she simply smiled at them and pet them whenever the owner allowed.

Something had switched back on in Ae-ri and she didn't know why or how.

She felt the same numbness she had felt before she had met Sun-oh and the same indifference to everyone's existence except her family's. The world seemed less chaotic, more quiet and her mind had slowed. She couldn't tell if it was because she had reached her capacity of caring and had burnt out, or if her body was protecting itself from any further emotional damage.

Regardless, she was thankful.

In-ho was less than enthusiastic and if anything seemed confused as to how to navigate this new Ae-ri; she hadn't spoken to him since the day in school which was roughly three days ago. She could tell he was angry but she also couldn't find it within herself to try and explain her mind.

The weather was mild and Ae-ri could feel spring would be coming in full swing soon, which also meant that she had to start planning for college applications and things of the sort. She sighs and leans her head back, wondering when time wouldn't feel like a burden.

***

Ae-ri looks at In-ho as In-ho looks at Ae-ri and neither of them give up any indication of remorse.

"I would say I'm sorry, but I'm not," Ae-ri confesses.

"I know you're not," In-ho scoffs.

She tugs on her backpack straps and glances down at their shoes. In-ho almost leans over to tug on one of her curls.

"I am returning to my normal self and she is not what you are accustomed to. When I'm healed I am very passive, logical, almost to a fault."

"That's okay."

"I understand if you know longer would like to be my friend," she says softly.

"Ae-ri it's fine."

She looks up at him but doesn't see anything that indicated he was nothing less than accepting.

"So, it's okay?"

"Darling, I would rather have any version of you, than not have any of you at all," he says, his honesty forming a blush on his cheeks. She couldn't tell if it was from the cold or not.

"Okay. So are we friends again?"

"So ArE wE Fr-hurry up, we are gonna be late for class, you dork."

***

Sun-oh watched as In-ho teased Ae-ri who cracked a smile at the punny joke In-ho had made and finds his chest tightening even from across the hall.

He didn't understand it.

He had advocated for Ae-ri unapologetically the last time he had seen In-ho and her interact and now it seemed that whatever In-ho had done was water under the bridge.

She used to be much firmer than that and it made him want to wonder what had changed within her.

He is so wrapped up in his thoughts he doesn't notice when she moves towards him, stopping before him with slight hesitation.

"Sun-oh?"

He almost jumps but instead intakes a breath and meets her eyes, a cautious smile playing at his lips.

"What's up?"

Ae-ri's eyes shift down to his mouth and she smiles, "You can relax, you look like you're smiling through a leg cramp right now."

He shakes his head at her metaphor but nonetheless a real smile graces his lips. She nods, her eyes returning to his eyes, "Better."

Their eyes linger on each other and he finds himself wanting to touch her, to hold her, to kiss her. Ae-ri exhales and holds her hands behind her back to prevent herself from reaching out to grab his hand.

"I just wanted to say thank you for defending my boundaries with In-ho, he told me about it."

Sun-oh shifts his gaze over to In-ho who met Sun-oh's gaze with an air of cold indifference. "Of course, no worries," Sun-oh nods as his eyes meet Ae-ri's again.

"How are you doing?" she asks softly.

"How are you doing?" he smiles knowingly.

She almost hums. "I'm much more stable now. I think I'm returning to equilibrium so my thoughts aren't as fully consuming. I do however miss you but I think that's supposed to be normal."

Sun-oh feels his heart swell and tug. She missed him.

She waits for a reply for a few seconds, acknowledging that speaking honestly might not have been the best thing to do but acknowledging that that's what she would have done before her breakdown anyways.

Sun-oh swallows and stares at her, a strained sound coming from his throat that causes her to take a step closer in concern, "Are you okay?"

"I want you."

"I think this is untrue."

"It's the truest thing I know," he manages to rasp out.

Silence fills the space between them as he lets the words hang in the silence. They look at each other, Ae-ri thinking and considering her next words carefully. His eyes were dilated, his breathing shallow, and she could feel the warmth radiating off his body even from where she was standing.

Her eyes slip back up to his and he exhales, looking into them as if they were a breath of fresh air. She stills and tilts her head as she replies, her words sharp.

"It may be true but I think your decision to leave me prohibits you from acting upon such thoughts therefore I will be going now."

He opens his mouth to reply but she gives him a cool glance that makes him close it instead, a resigned sigh leaving his lips.

Be honest. He can almost hear her old instructions in real time.

"I don't think it's fair you get to say you miss me and not expect a reaction from it," he says firmly. Her steps away from him halt and she instead turns back, intrigued by his rebuttal.

"I expected you to think with less emotion. I was stating a fact," she says coolly.

"As was I."

She blinks. "Yours is driven from emotion. Perhaps physical needs. Mine was a passing thought."

"If you say so," he shrugs.

"I do."

"Whatever, Ae-ri."

"I don't understand why you're upset."

"You're being a hypocrite. You can say what's on your mind but I can't say what's on mine?"

She looks away, "I'm sorry if my actions have come across in this manner. It was not my intention."

"Sure."

"Sun-oh," she sighs.

"Ae-ri," he replies.

She looks up at him, finding his eyes to be a combination of hurt and indifference. She tears her eyes away before turning on her heel and walking away.