|Eight|

•Week Five• (3)

(Pt 2 shusjskskaifjshskdjfisizkjfisiaidisiaiis

TW: knife, blood, gore, angst, gun, angst, corpses, angst, more angst?... and............ Well..... Suicide attempt. Sorry besties but Adam really ain't having the best time) (excuse spelling mistakes istg autocorrect will be the death of me)

I squeezed my eyes shut, my mind wrestling with itself. I was choking on my tears, still using the door to hold myself up.

I struggled with breathing, it hurt. It hurt like crazy, enough for me to wonder if my heart was even beating still. I weakly let go of the knife, letting it fall into my pocket.

Why did I feel so cold?

I opened the door without thinking, starting to walk down the spiraling stairs. I didn't know what I was trying to do, but my brain was forcing me to continue down the bloodstained steps.

I had to get rid of myself, I couldn't live like this anymore. I was an absolute monster, and Ryan and Jack never wanted to see me again.

I felt nauseous, slipping on the slick blood. My hands were sweaty and I wiped them on my pants. I had to make sure my hands could have a good grip on my knife when I......

I swallowed, picking myself up off the stairs. I didn't quite know what I was going to do when I got to the room down here, all I knew was that I wasn't coming back.

For some reason, that thought made me ease up. Maybe this was how it was supposed to end, maybe I was happy because Ryan and Jack were finally happy.

The thought of them made my heart sink and I felt even more nauseated. I was so selfish, making them stay with me for so long. I was finally letting them go. I was setting them free.

But that little part of me was still hoping that they'd come for me, in some miraculous way, they'd save me from what I was about to do. That wouldn't happen, I was only a stranger to them now. Jack doesn't want me, neither does Ryan. When your whole world doesn't want you, then what? What am I supposed to do with my life if I don't even want it?

I stared at the large door, holding my breath. The smell of iron was so strong I felt like puking.
The door was decorated with delicately carved Crows, causing me to shiver.

I reached my hand out, thick blood oozing out onto the handle. I hadn't even noticed I accidentally cut my hand while playing with the knife. I froze, staring at the blood for longer than I should have.

You're worthless. The only way Jack and Ryan will ever be happy is if you're gone. For good.

The taste of salt snapped me out of my trance, and I shakily turned the doorknob, using my other hand to wipe away my tears.

Normally, I'd be arguing with that voice in my head, but this time they were right. And it hurt. Knowing the fact Jack and Ryan had been pretending to want me, to need me, my whole life hurt. It hurt thinking about how they would only be happy without me, but I couldn't be happy without them.

I couldn't be here at all without them.

So I wasn't going to be here at all anymore.

I took a deep breath, calming myself. I was doing what needed to be done. I was a tiny sacrifice for their contentment.

The door creaked open, sending shock waves down my spine. Inside was a graveyard of bodies, littering the entire floor. The room was a sea of blood and organs, and it smelled like rotting corpses...... Obviously.