|Eight|

•Week Five• (6)

(Dang, why this book so long? Anyway, I love you guys y'all are the best and I hope this book doesn't go downhill 👍)

Blood. It was everywhere, gushing out from the walls, drowning me in the crimson abyss.

I stumbled, out of breath and disoriented. The thick blood reached for me, sticking to my bare-feet and stopping me in my tracks. It stuck to my skin like a tentacle, slowly beginning to cover me.
I screamed, trying to get away.

More and more blood leaked from the black ceiling, raining down on my face. I clawed at myself, trying to get it off of me. I couldn't get away, I couldn't run from what I've done.

I was in hell, right where I belong.

My breathing was cut short by the blood starting to rip at my chest. I fell back onto one of the blood soaked walls, panicking. The blood was somehow drilling a hole to where my heart was.

I cried out in pain, fumbling with my hands to try and stop the demonic blood from making it all the way through my chest and to my heart.

It slipped through my grasp, and I cried more and more until it finally pierced my heart. I could feel it wrap around the organ, squeezing so tightly I felt like I was dying.

~

I screamed, thrashing and clutching where my heart was.

"Adam? Oh my god, what's wrong?"

Warm hands grabbed mine, carefully removing them from my chest.

I shivered, slowly opening my eyes. Jack stared at me, confused and worried. He looked like he had just woken up, which made me slowly realize where I was.

I pulled my eyes away from him, carefully looking at the doggy blanket, the TV, the couch. Everything.

Tears formed in my eyes, I didn't understand. I thought I was in hell, I thought I was dead..... But I'm still here.

"What happened?" I muttered.

Jack shrugged, letting go of my hands and touching my forehead to try checking my temperature. I did feel hot and uncomfortable, like I had just run a whole mile.
"I guess we must've both fell asleep..... And then, well, I woke up to you screaming and accidentally smacking me in the face."

I winced. "Sorry, I-"

Jack smiled a little. "It's okay, you did that all the time when we were kids. I'm used to it."

He pulled his hand away, yawning a bit. "You're burning up, I think. I'm not really sure how to tell with these things. Maybe we should get Ryan."

"No!" I quickly said, sitting up more on the couch.

"What? Why?"

I paused. I didn't want to talk to Ryan because I felt like....... He had something to do with my nightmare. Like the nightmares I had about him a few weeks ago.

I was afraid of him and I didn't know why.

Jack gave me a concerned look, one he didn't usually wear. "Adam, what happened in that nightmare?"

I brought my hand up to where my heart was, trying to stop myself from crying. I didn't even know what the dream was about or what exactly happened. My memory was starting to get foggy, but I still remembered what the pain felt like. What the blood gripping at my skin felt like. What it all felt like.

Hell. That's what it felt like, fucking hell.

Jack noticed how my expression changed, and he quickly reached for my hand, gently holding it again.

"It's okay, you don't have to tell me if it's....." I moved so that we were looking face to face, and he stared into my eyes, searching for something. I didn't know what, though. "If it's too painful." He finished his sentence, moving his hand to wipe the tears from my eyes.

I trembled, the tears falling quicker.
I wasn't used to being the one crying, I wasn't used to being held. I was always the voice of reason, the one that pulled Jack and Ryan out of their emotions when I knew they were falling too far. But now? Now I was an absolute mess, and I didn't know what to do or how to act.

Jack looked panicked, trying to wipe away my tears faster as more and more came falling down my cheeks.

He finally wrapped me into a hug, and for a moment, time stood still. I cried into his shoulder, much like when I cried into Ryan's shoulder at the hospital.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, struggling to keep his voice gentle. "I- Are you okay? I'm not really-"

I hugged him back, letting him know I needed him at this moment. I needed him to be with me, just for this moment, at least. That was all I needed.

He immediately understood, and stayed quiet as I cried until my body hurt from all the sobs racking through me.

I didn't know why that nightmare had triggered all the pain from what's been going on, but it did. And now Jack had to deal with it, too.

I really didn't want to see Ryan. I felt like something was wrong, something was really wrong. Maybe that was my dream-mind convincing me that I couldn't trust Ryan, maybe the nightmare had planted something in my mind that made me scared of Ryan.

Whatever it was, it made an agonizing feeling take over my heart. I didn't want to feel scared, or hurt, or confused over Ryan. He was my brother, why did I feel like this? Why did I feel like I couldn't trust him?

Jack hugged me tighter, trying hard to comfort me. He wanted me to feel better, but I didn't know how to feel better. I didn't know how to go back to the way things were.

Everything was just broken.

I was broken.

I shuddered as more sobs escaped me, and Jack began to hum softly in hopes that it would calm me down. It did, for the most part. Music helped my nerves and feelings, and I was grateful that Jack had thought of doing that.

I felt like a baby. I wasn't supposed to be the one who cries, the one who's held tightly, the one who's slowly reassured that everything is okay.

I always felt like my emotions would never be handled well, and that people would ridicule me for not being the "strong, older brother" that Jack and Ryan need. That was my biggest fear, that maybe, I'm not strong enough to take care of them or keep them safe.

......... But despite all of this, Jack doesn't seem to care. He understands what I'm feeling, and so does Ryan. They both know I can't keep it all bottled in forever, the nightmare just made everything implode.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying not to panic by all the things I was feeling at once.

Jack moved slightly, and I felt the weight of the couch shift as Ryan sat down next to us. He was here now, too. He was with me.

Ryan carefully ran a hand through my hair, trying to calm me down. He then took my hand and squeezed it, letting me know he was there.

I let out a breath, relief washing over me. I laid there, cradled in Jack's doggy blankets with them. They held me, driving the panic and grief away.

And I peacefully fell asleep, safely wrapped in their arms. This time, though, I wasn't plagued by a nightmare.

(Okay, this chapter lowkey makes me cringe but I wanted to add more brotherly fluff to try and balance out the angst. What do y'all think? If you like the wholesome stuff, well I've got good news for you, I have several books and they all contain wholesome sibling stuff)