Through My Window

Original Edition: 33. The Disappointment

33

"I need you to be my emergency brake."

Dani gives me a strange look, "Your what?"

I sigh, "My emergency brake... like the one in cars that stops the car when you lose your brakes, which in this case, would be my self-control-"

"Stop," Dani interrupts, "first of all, that's the worst analogy you've ever made and believe me you've made some terrible ones." I open my mouth, but she continues, "Second, you want me to stop you every time you want to spread your legs to Ares, okay. Without so much detour and meaningless analogies."

I huff, "My analogies are the best."

She rolls her eyes, getting up. We are in her room, we came here to hang out after school. It's Monday and the beginning of the week has hit me hard, I feel so exhausted, why do I have to study? Why?

Because you need a future, I can almost hear my mom's grumpy voice in my head.

Dani returns to bed with her phone in her hand, "I already know the whole story about Ares but there is something I don't understand."

"What?"

"You were avoiding Yoshi at school today like he had the plague, why?"

I lie back down on the bed, still hugging the pillow, "That part of the weekend I haven't shared."

Dani falls next to me and turns her face to look at me, "What happened?"

I stare at the ceiling for a moment, without saying anything and Dani seems to understand everything, "Did he finally tell you that he likes you?"

I turn my head to her so fast my neck hurts, "You knew?"

"Everyone knew it except you."

I hit her with the pillow, " Why didn't you tell me?"

Dani snorts, "It wasn't my secret."

I look at the ceiling again, "Well, that night he told me and he... kissed me."

"Ohhh!" Dani sits up on the bed, "I didn't expect that! How was it? Did you like it? Did you kiss him back? Was there tongue involved? What did you feel? Details, Rachel, details!"

I sit up, "It was... good."

Dani raises an eyebrow, "Good? That's all?"

"What do you want me to say? He... he's always been there and I came to feel things for him in a platonic way. I never expected to like him... and kissing him was good but it was... surreal. I don't know how to explain it."

Dani shakes her head, "You liked it, but it wasn't as amazing like it is with Ares."

"It was different..."

"You're lost, Rachel. You're so in love with Ares."

I lower my head without being able to deny it. Dani puts her arm around my shoulders to pull me in a side hug, "I know it's scary to feel so much for someone, but everything will be fine."

"I don't know what to say to Yoshi."

"The truth, tell him that right now you're not ready to try anything with anyone. You have feelings for another person and they may not be reciprocated, but that does not mean that you can suddenly stop feeling. Tell him you don't want to use him."

"I shouldn't have kissed him back."

"And I shouldn't have eaten that cheeseburger late at night, but we all made mistakes."

I started to laugh, separating myself from her, "Did you eat without me?"

Her phone rings with a message, she excitedly checks it, a silly smile fills her lips, "Ok that smile is suspicious."