by the sidelines • haechan

thirty three

"Could it be that he has feelings for you?"

Her assumption sent me choking on the tiny piece of fruit in my mouth, drawing a bit of attention to our table. I quickly gulped down a chunk of water to flush it down, before coughing out a few words, "Don't. Spout. Nonsense."

Junhee patted my back as I dabbed my mouth dry, but Soobin was still pounded on her theory. "It's possible, maybe he's just using the training as an opportunity to get closer to you."

I waved a hand to signal for her to stop. "Please don't. I don't even wanna think about it." How could she say something like that so casually? Just the thought of it made me wanna puke, and with an attitude like that, I highly doubt it too.

"I'm only saying that-"

"That's enough," Junhee interrupted, "You shouldn't jump to conclusions like that, it can cause misunderstandings."

Soobin opened her mouth to rebut, but closed it back and pouted instead. Meanwhile, I couldn't stand the suffocating silence drifting over us like a brewing storm. I stuffed the last bit of watermelon into my mouth and stood up, my chair screeching behind me due to my sudden movement.

"I'm gonna go back to the room first to wash up, see y'all." I brought my empty plates to a counter at the back before exiting the room.

I headed towards the lift lobby, Soobin's words buzzing around my head like a swarm of bees as I constantly swatted them away. Nope, not even gonna think about it. I don't want to think about it. I won't-

My feet halted right in front of the row of elevators as two beings turned their heads in surprise. My eyes immediately darted to one of them, and what Soobin said sent me in a whirlpool of emotions that made me self-conscious all of a sudden.

"Oh, hey Yoojin," Haknyeon chimed, waving his hand as awkwardly as his smile, "You're going up by yourself?"

"Huh?" My mind was still pounded on his friend that it took a while to process his question. "Oh, yeah. They're still eating."

"I see." He nodded, and another silence fell over us like a blanket, a heavier one compared to just now. Geez, I should've just stayed in the cafeteria.

I tottered about my feet due to uncomfortableness, occasionally glancing towards the two guys to my right. They were quiet as well, and I was pretty sure my appearance interrupted whatever conversation they were in. What's this weird atmosphere? A week ago we were training together enthusiastically, but now it seemed like we were almost strangers. Or maybe it was better this way.

I stared at the digital numbers above the lift doors, mentally begging for it to decrease faster, but luck seemed to have abandoned me seeing how the elevator stopped for a good one minute on each floor. Right then, Haknyeon's spoke again.

"By the way, both of us are heading to the roof later, wanna join?"

"Both of us?" I quoted, and I finally glanced at Donghyuck with a little reluctance in me. "I don't know, I'm feeling rather tired today."

I expected him to persuade me more like he always did, but to my surprise, Haknyeon nodded his head in compliance. "Alright, but if you change your mind, you know where to find us."

I smiled back in politeness, but I couldn't help considering his offer. Compared to daytime, Seoul's scenery is much more majestic at night, and I could tell that our roof had the perfect height to enjoy the view. But the company I'd be with... not so much.

The elevator finally reached our level and the doors opened, prompting both of them to enter, but my feet remained planted to the ground. Haknyeon looked at me peculiarly before asking, "Aren't you getting on?"