The Dangers Of The Damaged ✔︎

54 ↝ Wine & Sugar Therapy

"I wanna show you all the finer things in life,
So just forget about the world,
We young tonight."
Beauty & The Beat — Justin Bieber

Nessa and Kiara don't believe me when I tell them, two whole days later.

"You're fucking with me," Nessa laughs breezily, from her spot by the foot of my bed, popping an M&M in her mouth. "Nice try, though."

I swallow, swirling the Sprite inside the can that's in my hands, remaining silent, refusing to make eye contact. My eyes catch the stuffed bear that's sitting near my pillow, the one Hunter won for me at the carnival, and my chest squeezes painfully. It feels like a million years ago.

"Nessa..." Kiara speaks, her voice low and cautious. "I don't think she's kidding."

I hear the sharp intake of breath Nessa takes, and my eyes lift to my best friend, seeing her baby blue eyes pooling with shock and worry.

"Alex?" Nessa whispers, immediately dumping the bag of M&M's and coming to my side, wrapping her arms around me. Kiara takes my other side, brushing my hair off my forehead.

"What happened?" Kiara asks, lacing her hands through mine.

Slowly, fighting back tears, I tell them everything. Nessa and Kiara look almost as heartbroken as I am when I'm done.

"Why didn't you tell us sooner?" Nessa asks. "And I couldn't even tell that something was up the past two days, other than the fact that you were oddly silent. I just thought you've been wrecked with assignments and shit."

She's right. Somehow, I haven't broken down or shed a tear over this. It's killing me inside, but that's exactly how I keep it, deep down inside pushed to the darkest corners so it doesn't spill out.

It has always been this way — even after what happened back in England, after what happened with Max. I could be keeling over with grief and pain but I wouldn't let it show physically.

"I... don't know." I reply lamely. "Maybe it just hasn't hit me yet."

"He's always been like this." Kiara says, her hazel eyes downcast. "He's so afraid of people getting hurt because of him."

"Yeah," Nessa agrees. "It's definitely because of everything he went through as a kid, with his parents. He cares, that's why he's pushing you away, even though he's a stupid motherfucker for doing it."

"Alex, we love you both and you both mean the world to us," Kiara starts. "But I feel like we should tell you the reason why he's like this. I'm assuming you already know the gist of it?"

I nod, sniffling. "I do. And... I do understand where he's coming from. I just wish there was a better way."

"Hunter's past has haunted him for a long time." Nessa eye's sadden, like she's remembering things. "Watching his mom get hurt again and again fucked him up. It's definitely the reason why he didn't let himself fall in love or get into relationships before he met you."

"What we're trying to say is..." Kiara clears her throat. "Please don't think he did this because he wants to hurt you or he doesn't care. He just literally has no clue how to handle stuff like this, he's never had to before. You're the first girl he stuck with."

"He told me he loves me." I whisper, feeling my throat tighten, the ache thudding in my chest.

Kiara and Nessa both freeze, exchanging looks of surprise. I watch them as they get over their initial shock, blinking at me. Their reactions prove the things they said, Hunter's never been in a position like this before. As much as I wish I could hate him, I can't. Because I probably would have done the same thing if I was him.