Flowers, Fame and Unforeseen Facades

Chapter 14

                                                    White Rose:Secrecy
                                                   ❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁
Zoe's POV

After a few long seconds of him staring straight at me, he seemed to realize the situation, and said, "Uh... I was waiting for you to come out of your room. I was... worried."

I looked at him, trying to get an idea of what he was actually feeling. I mean, he did look guilty, but I wanted to be careful, just in case... something happened again.

I looked down again, avoiding his eyes, as usual, and quietly said, "I'm okay. I guess."

I glanced up, watching his lifted hand drop down to his sides. He sighed, looked down and nodded.

He cleared his throat, and with hesitation clear in his voice, he said, "Listen, Zoe, I didn't mean to do what I did last night. It was a complete accident, and I swear, I would never intentionally hurt you."

I looked down again, and nodded. But I didn't want to forgive him. I was on the verge of breaking down after the fiasco, and I couldn't just let it go.

"I'll forgive you. If you tell me what exactly happened. You were clearly not yourself, and you really hurt me. Is there something wrong? Levi, I need to know your exact problem. I'm letting you live in my house, for gods sake! I can't just let someone who I don't properly know stay in my house. And let's just say, I've been through a very traumatic experience, and what you did last night did not help at all."

I could see the sorrow clear on his face, and I almost let my guard down and forgave him right there and then. Thankfully, he turned away before I could do so.

"You're not the only one with a traumatic past, Zoe. And it's just as hard for me to talk about my problems as it is for you to talk about yours. But I understand where you're coming from. I am staying in your house, and I'm very grateful to you. I'll explain everything. But not right now. I need to gather myself and think about this. We'll talk about this when you come back from the shop, okay?"

I understood his hesitation. It was extremely hard for me to tell Harley what had happened, and if he had a traumatic past, I could understand just how difficult it was going to be for him to tell me. But if we were to continue living together for even a few more days, I needed to know more about him. So, I agreed, and walked past him. But before I had reached the door, he grabbed my wrist, gently. I looked back at him, a questioning look plastered across my face.

His eyes were filled with worry as he said, "Did I hurt you? I mean, physically? Uh... I don't exactly remember every single detail."

I hesitated, wondering if I should tell him about the bruise on my back, but decided against it when I saw the desperate plea in his eyes that was begging me to tell him that he didn't. When I shook my head, doubt was clear in his eyes, but he took the answer and dropped my wrist. I walked out of there quicker than Harley could say "Jacob's a piece of meat", trying to rid myself of the suffocating atmosphere.

I spent the rest of the day with Levi on my mind. What was the traumatic past that he was talking about? Was he going to tell me everything, or only the relevant part of his past? Well, obviously he was going to tell me the relevant part only. I was completely fine with that.

The fact that he was going to tell me just a small portion of the unknown horrible past that he had went through made my level of respect for him rise up. I was barely ready to even think about what had happened a few years ago.

When I reached my apartment, I expected to have a formal talk with Levi on the couch, where both of us were extremely quiet, and I would have to try my best to forgive him. What I did not expect was to see him sprawled across the couch, clearly drunk. His eyes were bleary, and he kept squinting, clearly having a hard time focusing on me. I placed my bag down, surprised at his unexpected intoxicated state.

Suddenly, he got up, stumbling over the arm of the couch, and said, "I spy with my little thigh a beautiful girl."

That one line made me forget the entire situation, and I tried to not burst out laughing. The adjective that he used to describe me made me blush, but I tried to ignore it, and focus on his other misused word.

"Uh... thigh?"

He nodded, a big grin on his face.

Suddenly, he walked closer to me, and said, "Are you Zoe?"

I just nodded, a small smile on my face. His grin dropped, and he looked down.

"I know you're not. Zoe wouldn't be smiling right now. She would be mad at me.", he murmured, sounding heartbreakingly sad.

Despite the situation that we were in, I couldn't help but compare him to a little kid. He was acting like he had done something bad, and was hiding from his mom so that he wouldn't get scolded.

The smile never left my face, and I said, "Well, why did you hurt Zoe? What happened to you when you were hurting her?"

He looked up, his eyes watery. I let out a gasp of surprise. He was... crying? Was he ok?

In a broken voice, he asked,"So you also know?"

I nodded my head, trying to ignore the loud sound of my heart thundering against my chest.

He looked down again, and said, "She's too good for me, but I can't let her go. I know it's selfish of me, but I can't. It's like she's a drug, and I'm addicted."

I could hear the sniffles breaking his speech, and his downcast eyes were glittering brightly because of the tears in them.

"But she needs to stay away from me. Because I have Intermittent Explosive Disorder."

My eyes widened in shock, and I could feel my world collapsing around me. He had intermittent explosive disorder? No, no he couldn't. He couldn't have it! He couldn't have it because that was the disorder that he had.

The disorder that my rapist had.

Um... yeah, that happened. Poor Zoe. She went through such a horrible experience. Any thoughts? What do you think will happen next? Also, if you liked the chapter, maybe you could click the little star icon? And how did you like the chapter? I'll love it if you leave a comment! Anyway, thank you so much for reading! Love you guys! Peace out!