Flowers, Fame and Unforeseen Facades

Chapter 43

Larkspur:Open Heart
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Levi's POV

My mouth had dropped open. Although I myself had said everything, and confessed about my disorder and all the things that I felt, I still couldn't believe that Celine and I were actually going to be okay. After staying in a one-sided rivalry for so long, it was hard to believe that any good could come out of the situation, but the previous scene had left all of my thoughts and suspicions in the dumpster.

My heart was racing inside my chest, my mind still unable to process the fact that everything was going to be okay. I had given Zoe up for a year to make the rest of my own and her life okay, but it never really occurred to me how everything was going to happen. The unforeseen changes that my life was going through were leaving me in shock every time.

Seeing Zoe for the first time, the two of us developing a friendship, our labeled relationship, the sudden revelation that she had given me, asking us to separate for a while and then the "make everything alright" scene with Celine. It seemed utterly bizarre.

I guess I had opened my heart to the things happening around me, and crawled out of the deep hole that I had made for myself. Of course, with the help of things such as mom and dad's death and my disorder. But I was the one who had picked up the shovel that was given to me, and dug a hole, throwing myself inside it.

It was weird. I had seen so many people live their lives with their loved ones without a care in the world. It was hard to process the fact that all that had happened to me wasn't something that happened to every other person. Of course, that didn't mean that I was looking down on other peoples problems.

It was just that different people had different sorts of worries. As a "rich" kid, I was never worried about money, but others might have had to take up jobs at a young age to fend for themselves because of their financial issues. I had a great job that I loved, while others might have had some difficulty finding the career that fit them.

Knowing that there were so many different types of people out there was terribly intimidating. It made me feel insignificant, like a tiny thread in a great, big tapestry. But I liked to think another way. If that thread was not in the tapestry, something wouldn't seem quite right. The foundations would be unstable, or the design would look weird.

All of us were important in the world, and I was the main character of my own story. I had to get my world back to the one that I wanted. I had to get over my past, get rid (or at least suppress) the disorder that had claimed my soul and strengthen my relationship with Celine. Only then would I move forward.

I got up from my place, ate my dinner, sat around for a while, trying not to sleep before two hours had passed to give my body time to digest my food, and finally, when I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer, I trudged over to bed, and fell asleep.

The next morning was a free one, and I had nothing to do. I had something in mind but I was extremely hesitant with the the idea. I quickly woke up, getting ready for the day. I took a hot shower, dressed myself in a turtle neck sweater, black skinny jeans and a long coat. It was cold in Paris, and like I've said before, I did not want to get pneumonia.

After wearing my shoes, I sat back down again, staring at my phone's screen. Should I? Should I not? I was constantly questioning myself, unable to let one side win the battle that I was internally having with myself. My thoughts were jumbled, and I couldn't think properly.

After a lot of contemplation, I made my decision. I would do it. I had to. For myself, Zoe, Celine and everyone that I had ever loved. It was something that had already been decided, but I just didn't know how to do it. But I had made up my mind, and I was not backing down. It was like I had dared myself, and there was no going back.

I took a deep breath, grabbed my phone, and dialed the number that I had memorized with Zoe. My hand was shaking, which made me even more nervous than I already was. Other than when mom had died, my hands had never shook so bad in my entire life, and I was just about peeing myself from the thought of what I was about to do.

I ignored my brain, and pressed the call button. I could hear the faint ringing on the phone, and was waiting for the phone to be picked up in anxiousness.

"Please pick up. Please pick up. Please. And please agree too.", I murmured to myself, feeling desperate.

I had to give it a shot. As I heard the phone being picked up, and the warm, ladylike sound on the other end that I had heard just last night, I froze. Oh sh*t! I shouldn't have done that! I should not have done that.

"Levi? Is that you, sweetie?", the voice said.

I pushed all of my thoughts behind me, telling myself that it was too late to back out. I took a deep, shaky breath in, preparing myself for what I was about to say next. I fumbled with my phone, trying to delay what I was about to do. Finally, I answered.

"Yes, it's Levi, Celine. Good morning. I... I just wanted to ask if you wanted to grab some breakfast together. We could... catch up, and talk. I want to tell you about the... therapist that I'm hiring.", I said.

I could hear her excited "Yes!" through the phone, and smiled to myself. This was the beginning of a new chapter in my life. I had opened my heart, and was ready.

Ready to face all my demons.

Doneeeeee! Make sure to let me know if you liked it, comment, vote and share! Love you all! Peace out!