Undesirable

Chapter 16

I stare at myself in the mirror of my dressing table, my zombie-like reflection gawking back at me. Dark circles surround my bloodshot eyes and my skin looks pale and dry, which almost seems impossible considering my forehead is covered in layers of sweat from the heat. Christina is going to have her job cut out for her when she arrives. If she can make me look alive again she deserves a huge promotion.

I couldn't sleep last night. No matter which way I lay, or whatever position I tried to rest in, my brain just wouldn't shut off. Visions of the wedding flashed in my mind; the dress, the guests, Cesare...I haven't seen him since the proposal, and according to Christina, I won't until I am walking down the aisle towards him.

What if I don't recognise him? Not that I expect he will have changed that much in the week since we last saw each other, but the nerves in my stomach are making my brain do somersaults. What he if sees me walking down the aisle and realises what a big mistake he is making? I thought that once I was engaged, the fear of being branded would have evaporated and no longer concern me, but it still very much lingers in my mind.

For a wedding I didn't have to think about much, I'm extremely jittery. Most brides would be fretting about the details; like if the cake looks good, or if the bridesmaids like their dresses, and so on; but I don't even know what music I am walking down the aisle to. I'm yet to hear any of the music that's played on the Higher Tier - unless you count Christina's hums or attempts to sing. All I have to focus on is not falling flat on my face in front of, what feels like, the whole of the Higher Tier.

The pressure is on and I'm enduring every ounce of it.

On top of all the wedding stress, there is also Christina herself to agonise over. The rare times last night that I did manage to pull my thoughts away from the wedding, my mind was consumed with her. Technically, I don't think Signora Russo has any power over her, since she isn't part of the household staff, but I am pretty sure she could find a way to get her fired if she was so inclined. I will feel terrible if Christina loses her job because of me. It was my idea to go outside, after all. I should have listened to her; she wouldn't have gotten into that mess if I had just followed the rules.

It is a skill I need to learn, fast.

Signora Russo barges into the room and looks shocked to see me out of bed and sat in front of the dressing table. There is no reservation in my mind that she had a cruel wake-up call planned for me, since today would have been the last time she could do it. The second that I say my 'I do's', I become her superior and she can no longer be rude to me. It's a shame I spoilt her last chance. I would feel guilty if she wasn't such a monster.

"I thought you might like breakfast early, so you didn't have to rush getting ready," She growls through gritted teeth, unhappy that I have foiled her plans.

"That sounds lovely," I reply, smiling ever so sweetly. She rolls her eyes and holds open the front door.

"Hurry up, girl! Bring it in!" She shouts to someone outside, wafting her hand around, as if it will make them move faster.

Christina enters, pushing in a small silver trolley, which carries various teas and pastries. I really am getting pampered today.

The plate is piled high with more food than I could possibly ever eat in one sitting, and it all looks delicious. I will try to save some for later as, from what Christina told me about the weddings she has worked on before, a feast for the millions is going to be served to me tonight. It is probably best I preserve my appetite.

I look up to say thank you to Christina when, to my horror, I see a dark ring circling her eye. Her skin is completely bruised, with blacks, blues, and yellows all mixed in together to create a spectacular mark. I open my mouth to ask her what happened, but she shakes her head, warning me now is not the time.